[A Red Panda]

I had the appointment with my GP on Wednesday - we are taking me off sertraline as that only seems to have caused hyperactivity and no sleep!

So I'm back down to 50mg and am taking that daily for a bit and then to take it every other day. Thank goodness.

Currently not switching in to anything else as I'd rather wait until I'm off the sertraline totally.

That and had a LOT of confusion about getting the appointment to see the psychiatrist - am not too impressed with the GP for various reasons... BUT it's sorted out now! That appointment is on the 25th. Dreading that.

But in better news: I think I am starting to get back into a regular sleep schedule! I'm still not sleeping much at night, but the last few days I've been napping which is helping me at least feel rested.

(I spent a few weeks where I was WIRED and awake all the time with loads of energy... and after my little trip to Crazytown I seem to have somewhat crashed and have been tired.... but still not sleeping.)

So yes. I just felt like reporting on that one. Have been more focused with my thoughts and whatnot, and at least when I haven't been... can at least blame the fact that my last week was INSANE with scheduling and events at school as it is the last month! June's always bonkers so I'm alright with that.

[~Christina]

Sounds like a good plan. The paperwork involved in seeing a Pdoc is enough to drive anyone a biy batty ! I personally think that GP's should never prescribe Psych med... They may mean well but they just don't have the skill needed to decipher all the ins and outs of a mental illness.

Hope your Pdoc appt hurries up and gets here so that the stress over it will subside.

[A Red Panda]

Appointment number 2 with psychologist was yesterday. It went well. He's only in this town once a month, and not at all during the summer, but he's made me an appointment for September and wants me to call in and make a phone appointment for over the summer.

We talked a lot about my family and about my rules for my own behaviour and stuff. Seemed to end up saying a LOT within an hour. At one point he asked me "Are you in an up right now still?" and I actually wasn't sure how to answer so I said "My body's finally decided to play catch-up because it's actually starting to sleep more normally again" as that is really the only thing I'm quite certain of. But I do think I babbled on yesterday and possibly skipped from topic to topic.

He also suggested how the psychiatrist will likely recommend me to see people at mental health for more regular visits... but unlike my GP he seemed to understand when I expressed concern over the fact that I will not talk to local people who are underqualified. Which a lot of the people here are.... it's hard to describe. But quite frankly I will NOT speak to anyone at all who isn't a psychologist, therapist, or psychiatrist... and the psychiatrist I'm seeing on the 25th is consult-only (which I don't really fully understand anyway)

So yeah. I sorta wish this guy was here all the time though as I like him so far. He sorta lets me babble on and rephrases the things that I'm talking about and it just makes more sense.

Like... at one point we were talking about my attitude towards doctors (he asked how I felt about the psychiatrist appointment... and I said that I hated it) and were talking about my family's attitude, and he asked if any of them are diagnosed with anything. So I was like "Yeah, my family doesn't DO doctors.... I even had to argue with them for a few months when I was 11 because I wanted to go to the dentist and they wouldn't make me an appointment."

His response was "You know, in today's society, although it wasn't quite the same when you were 11, that would be considered neglect."

I was like "Huh. Yeah. I guess you're right on that one." And he'd point out other things based on what I saying that just made a lot more sense.

Anyway. I guess I just felt like updating on this!

[~Christina]

Sounds like it was positive.
The first T I tried was USELESS, She was more concered about talking about fashion and her upcoming 4 week vacation, meh,wasn't going to work for me. ! I called and complained and the head man called me back and I started seeing him 2 1/2 years ago and its a great fit for us both.

Thanks for the update and I hope you are able to find a good set of professionals that will help you feel better

[A Red Panda]

Thanks! Yeah, I like the psychologist. He seems to be a good fit for me, at least right now. Lets me babble on, asks questions to get me to keep going if I seem to just go off somewhere else, and he'll restate things I say in a way that makes me feel validated and understood - which is really a rare thing for me to feel.

Decided I don't like my GP but I will not switch from her yet because that would mean explaining to ANOTHER person. And the psychiatrist... no opinion on him yet, but I know I am biased to a "dislike" right now. haha. Here's hoping that changes. Just wish I understood what it means that he's just for consult!

[comicgeek007]

For what it's worth, the only thing my GP knows about my mental illness is that I am taking zoloft and abilify, for the time being at least.

[A Red Panda]

Thanks! I don't plan to talk to my GP about this stuff anymore really... she just stressed me out and confused me both times I went to see her. Am totally full of mixed feelings about the 25th though! haha.

It's either gonna be "yeah I think you are likely bipolar" which isn't fun as it means it's true, or "no, I really don't think that you are at all" in which case I'd be left going "well what the hell's been going on with me my whole life then?!" so... no matter how that appointment turns out, I'm going to be not-happy about it!

[A Red Panda]

Well now. The 12th was meant to be my frist day of skipping a pill (am supposed to take one every other day until I'm out of them). Forgot to take one on the 13th and didn't realize until later on the 14th. So I've taken one today. haha.

However, the last few days have had increasingly more energy. Yesterday was a HIGHLY hyperactive day, whereupon I did all of the following:
- tore apart my classroom, including climbing on top of a shelf while my students were in the room
- had an "angry face making" contest with my students and all around joked around with them
- babbled away to lots of different coworkers
(in the afternoon we had no students at school, it was a day set for report card writing... which I've finished with mine already)
- apparently I was noticeably bouncy and babbly while I was laminating (according to a friend/coworker who is aware of the meds, as she commented on it later for me)
- yelled and joked right around the school and essentially was a pain in the butt for everyone
- opted to NOT go home right after work. Went to a few garage sales with my friend and her husband.
- made contact with my ex because I wanted to have sex. did not tell him this and he had his son for the weekend so this didn't seem to pan out
- male friend whom I've slept with was out of town. He was my second choice.
- male friend who I know is interested in me was working. There went the third choice.
- got friends to drop me off at a restaurant as I'd gotten a call to go for drinks. Proceeded to pretty much down 4 drinks in a very short amount of time
- went to a house party, whereupon I drank more and even played flip cup.
- my friend (who was really the only person I REALLY know there although I've met most of the others... and everyone there were teachers...) was my "safety" for the night (I tend to have a buddy and leave when they do just to keep myself out of trouble) - well, she left earlier than I did as she had a bad earache and opted to go to the ER.
- I then proceeded to leave with one of the guys that teaches at another school. I've seen him twice but we've never really chatted.
- I babbled and was VERY stubborn the entire walk. Even babbled about this stuff to him.
- Decided to NOT walk down the street and took off down a path through the bush. (not a very smart decision)
- Eventually the guy convinced me that we should probably get back on the streets when I was bound and determined to go down a super dark path (near a sketchy area too) in the name of exploration and adventure. He pretty much picked me up and made me. I was not amused.
- had sex with him as soon as we were at his place. Forgot that I'd forgotten my BC pills a few times this week. We didn't use protection. Oops.
- Pretty much did not sleep that night.

Can I just roll my eyes here?! Today I've been a bit hungover so have been trying to sleep... but what am I doing? Going back out.... lol

[middlepath]

Hey CheshireCatGrin! I know it is fun to be energized and in a party mood, but be safe. Try to avoid dark pathways tonight : ). ((hugs))

[A Red Panda]

Thanks middlepath - taking the risky path is one of the things I tend to do as I seem to think I am immune to negative consequences and like to tempt fate.

Fortunately last night I was not alone or I would have likely ended up lost in the bush! (have definitely ended up lost in other places due to this tendency... it's why I tend to always have a buddy when I go out so that I can't really go with that urge to take off, take a risk, and explore.

[middlepath]

Ohh...I know that feeling all too well, I feel the same way when i am up at times. A "safe" buddy sounds like a good idea! I hope you had a good night!!!

[A Red Panda]

Oh... I'd had a great night. Even went for breakfast with him the next day. But was a bit embarassed when asked by my buddy where I'd gotten to because she'd gone back to the party after she left the ER to see how I was doing and to make sure I had a ride home! (aww how sweet right?!)

He's got my number, but I didn't make sure he text me with his first, so I don't have his. Haven't had any text from him though and so that is making me a little bit sad because he seemed to really want to keep in contact! Am reminding myself that it's only been a few days annnnnd it's near the end of the school year so we're both buuuuusy.

--------------------------------

Also I've been having a lot of naps lately. I take this as a good sign as it means my body is attempting to get caught back up. But I also find it really strange. I've had a nap almost every day for a week or a bit! That's like at least two hours. I've NEVER ever been like this. I'm not sure why.... is it because I'm coming off the meds? Or have I just exhausted myself THAT MUCH?!

[A Red Panda]

WELL NOW.

I had 2.5 hours of sleep last night. And then forgot to eat breakfast, and forgot to take my lunch to work. So overall, I did not eat or drink anything in over 24 hours, and on 2.5 hours of sleep. And how did I do with that? I was in a spectacular mood with a lot of energy!!

And I have decided that taking the 50mg of sertraline every other day can S**k it and I am not taking anymore of it.

On the plus side, I did NOT have a nap when I got home today and actually got the things I needed to do done - I vacuumed, changed the kitty litter, took out the garbage, and put away laundry.

Have spent the rest of the evening babbling and reading things online because although I'd really, really, love to tackle the bathroom (which is in need of a thorough scouring) I am going to STAY ON THE COUCH AND REST.

or so I tell myself. It's 9pm and still doing well. Still not tired. Oiy.