[Lab_Rat]

I have a Pdoc but she just prescribes me the meds. I've gone to a few other Pdocs that would talk to me but I didn't connect with them. I left after 5 or 6 sessions. i went to a counselor but didn't like it. Nothing about me was really addressed. I feel like I'm paying someone to listen to me whine. I have forgiven and accepted those who have been toxic in my life. I don't think therapy is going to change how I think about my self. I was given tools and blah blah blah in the hospital but I can't stick with it. No matter what I do or tell myself my negative thoughts aren't real, they just won't go away.

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[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Lab_Rat

I have a Pdoc but she just prescribes me the meds. I've gone to a few other Pdocs that would talk to me but I didn't connect with them. I left after 5 or 6 sessions. i went to a counselor but didn't like it. Nothing about me was really addressed. I feel like I'm paying someone to listen to me whine. I have forgiven and accepted those who have been toxic in my life. I don't think therapy is going to change how I think about my self. I was given tools and blah blah blah in the hospital but I can't stick with it. No matter what I do or tell myself my negative thoughts aren't real, they just won't go away.

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Have you tried cbt---it is a very short term therapy that focuses on concrete goals and tools for you current life and doesn't deal with the past much at all. I highly recommend it.

[faerie_moon_x]

I currently don't have a therapist or pdoc. I am looking for a therapist. I want a cognitive behavior therapist like Sometimes Psychotic recommended, because "happy puppy rainbow" thoughts do not solve all our problems

[yellowfrog268]

I don't have one either and I can't see myself obtaining one either. I can't see myself benefiting from one as I do not share my most intimate thoughts or feelings very well even after coaxing or attempts at trust building.

[Arethusa]

I don't have a pdoc or a therapist. However, I am planning on finding a pdoc sometime in the near future to monitor my meds (got prescription from regular doctor).

Still not sure if I want to see a therapist again. I've seen a couple in the past, but like yellowfrog, I also have trouble getting close and confiding my deepest secrets... so we'll see...

[BipolaRNurse]

My pdoc is also my therapist......one-stop shopping, as it were. This is a good thing, because we get along so well and CBT has been extremely helpful, but also because I don't have to pay two different people.

[bunnifoo]

I didn't see a therapist for many years. I had a hard time finding one and also the whole effort to find one was exhausting. I wish I had been seeing a therapist because 1) I know there's stuff I need to work on and 2) maybe the therapist would have helped me see how out of whack my life was and how much help I needed.

Unfortunately my attempts at trying to find a therapist went something like, - my pdoc giving me a list of 10 names and out of those 10, I found 1 that was willing to take on new patients and my insurance and was seeing people with bipolar disorder. And then I didn't like her. And then I found another one later and she made me feel uncomfortable.

I moved to a much smaller area and new I needed a pdoc and thankfully landed with a community health program where you have to see a therapist in order to keep seeing the pdoc and I've liked the pdoc and the therapists I've seen. Only down side, this is the start of my third year here and I'm about to start seeing my third therapists becuase the one moved and one got tired of the commute after 5 years and is opening a practice closer to her home. But I have high hopes for therapist number 3.

[BlackPup]

I'm not currently seeing a T. I had a good one after many ones that weren't a good fit. But then I moved away. Still commute to see my pdoc though. Don't think I need a T now, I think we got everything sorted out. I feel really good.

[Happy Camper]

I'm waiting to get back into therapy at the moment, though I'm doubtful it will help.

Like others have mentioned I simply cannot open up to a therapist.
I've had counseling off and on since I was about 12, and I've had a few that were really bad, or shrugged off what I would say or couldn't understand me.

I hate going into therapy when I feel like the therapist is an enemy or out to invalidate or hurt me. My last therapist was such a mismatch I felt nothing but dread and anxiety seeing her. The sessions are also never long enough or frequent enough. Going in I just feel angry, impatient, I have no confidence in them or myself, and I feel like I'll just talk myself in circles the whole time. I also feel like going into therapy just makes me worse or gives me an excuse to lay myself down into hole for someone else to pull me out when I'm the only person who has ever been able to help myself.

Inpatient therapy and group therapy was even more worthless, the work packets and breathing techniques and distress tolerance and all that **** does nothing for me, and never has.

I really think borderline pd is my main issue, but being male it's never come up and I have this shaky bipolar diagnosis instead that doesn't respond to meds or even seem like the main issue, since my thoughts and reactions/feelings and coping skills on a day to day basis are far more pertinent than the occasional episode of apparent depression or mania.

I don't think therapy is for me. I know that medication is definitely not for me.

CBT didn't really help me much. My depressions aren't like that I think. I don't have a lot of negative automatic thoughts, used to have a little but not so much that removing them had any effect. I just get depressed. I'm not sure if I want more therapy, I had some the last 2 years and when I was younger. It's been helpful, but mainly for keeping grounded.

[Victoria'smom]

I feel like I'm paying someone to listen to me whine. I have forgiven and accepted those who have been toxic in my life. I don't think therapy is going to change how I think about myself.

These are all the reasons I didn't feel I needed a T. Unless I'm depressed or mixed I have far higher self esteem then most but I needed one to see my pdoc. At first I didn't see the point and we mainly worked on med compliance. When I became psychotic and she made sure I had the resources to stay out of the hospital and got the soonest appointment with pdoc. T had me do a mood / event / thought chart and any notes I wanted to and shove it under her door before I get there.

T's job for me is a person that helps me stay med compliant, evaluate my moods, identify who's mood is being an issue, and keep me out of the hospital. I see T every 10 day - 3-4 weeks depending on whether I'm currently cycling or triggered.

[Lab_Rat]

I pulled up a list and there are just so many. I don't want a guy. I don't want a young girl. Maybe a lady in her fifties. I also hate he feeling that I'm being judged.

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[~Christina]

I think "we" feel that we will be judged . Therapists are not sitting there judging anyone. They had heard and seen it all...
It is perfectly fine to look for a Therapist based on the sex and age. It's all about finding a good match so that will be able to be open honest and work towards enriching your life.

[Victoria'smom]

I always need an experienced therapist, meaning one that can calm me, make me safe-ish and send me home to wait for meds to kick in properly. I seriously prefer a guy but my current T is female and she's been great. Remember your the one hiring them. So your requirements are anything you feel you need for them to help you best.