[Hydrophobic1212]

Things just keep getting really bad with my parents. I don't know what to do anymore. They keep making me cry and keep making me feel worthless.

What happened today, that made me totally break down, was that I am supposed to volunteer at summer school with the kids for yesterday and today, then all of next week. They didn't need me Monday, but I wasn't able to go in because whatever is going on with me that is making me so tired kicked in that day and I was too out of it to do anything. They didn't need me Monday yet anyways.

Well, today, I woke up with a really bad stomach ache and feeling really sick and tired. I had a feeling it was due to my anxiety of spending the night at a friend's house whose family I have never met before. But it was so unbearable that I asked my sister to cover the class for me today, and she said she understood, so she did it for me.

Well, I come home and my mom asks me "What'd you forget?" So I explained what was going on, saying "It is because I am going to my friend's house tonight" and my dad just lost it on me. He started yelling at me, telling me that prior commitments are more important than doing things with friends and that I'm always breaking commitments and he sees how I am with them. According to him, I do it with work, I do it with school, I do it with the volunteer thing.

Let me start off by saying, I know I did it with work the first job I ever had. But that wasn't my fault and no one seems to believe me. I was going through medication changes and a diagnosis change, it was a very stressful time, so it was hard to keep a job during all that.

Second time, well, most of you already know about that, that it was someone else's fault, not mine. Someone I work with...

School, I went all the time first semester, second semester I sank into a very low place and after I got sick, it just went downhill. But then I managed to pull it around and pass everything with at least a B. One C though.

Now the summer school thing? I have only missed one and I know why I did it. I was feeling nervous which caused me to feel the symptoms that I had. I think he might have thought that I was just skipping it because I was doing something with my friend's later, but that wasn't the case.

So I broke down crying and just left the room, going to take a nap. I texted my friend first, though, telling her that I couldn't come. I tried explaining to her what was going on, but she keeps thinking that it's my dad saying "I can't come" when really, it's me saying I can't because I can't stop crying and I'm a total mess right now. So now she's upset with me, telling me that it feels like I don't want to be her friend, because of the ONE TIME I tell her I can't come do anything.

So now I'm going to try and talk to my mom about it, and see if I can figure something out. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost.

[comicgeek007]

If it makes you feel better, you did better than I did this year with med changes an crap. And sometimes parents just don't understand. Sometimes you might not understand where they're coming from, either.

[Darth Bane]

yes parents never understand. they shout when we are ready to listen... and after few years they are ready to listen but we dont need them to then...

[Hydrophobic1212]

I understand where they're coming from. I totally do. Unlike them, I am able to take a step back and look at the situation. However, my dad just... Flips out.

And yes, exactly, Darth Bane. That's my father. My mom listens sometimes, but my dad doesn't.

We decided that me moving out is a good idea. So I'm working on finding a job and when I get good hours, I'm making the move.

[Victoria'smom]

Because of your parents reaction to you volunteering on a commit bases I would suggest you either volunteer at a drop in place (like an animal shelter) or a sleep away camp. Your parents are seeing this as a job and are probably afraid that you won't be able to hold a job as you get older snd "they'd have to financially support you forever" because they have have yet to educate themselves about bipolar. So they have no idea when to cut you some slack and when it's just a part of life.

This is not taking there side:

1. it's a volunteer thing so your the one helping
2. They are taking things way to seriously
3. They need to educate themselves on bp and how it affects you

[~Christina]

Hey Hydro

I'm sorry your having more issues. I think alot of the problems with your parents are just the fact that they grew up in a "different time" There is probably very very limited issues that they think are an okay reason to miss work or miss a commitment of any sorts.. I don't think they are going to really change there minds much, It's not that they don't love you its just how there mind "works"

As for your friend... You and only you can decide on when you feel comfortable talking about Bipolar with her. There needs to be trust.

Hang in there and just work on taking care of you

[Hydrophobic1212]

Thank you both! Yes, I finished up volunteering because they needed me there. It wasn't my choice to start, but they needed someone so I offered. Seeing the 4 year olds was really nice though.

And yes, I do think it's that they grew up in a different time. I'm currently jobless so I'm searching for something new, and we definitely have differing opinions on what should be done during this process.