[lil_better_everyday]

Or do you even feel like it does?

I've know for a long time, 7th grade at least, but didn't necessarily know why till after diagnosis a year ot two ago. Just the way I process information and my thought processes seemed to be vastly different than anyone else I knew/know. Maybe I'm the oddball, but I'm guessing it's all tied together with bipolar.

Thanks for indulging me!! Preemptive internet hugs!!

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by lil_better_everyday

Or do you even feel like it does?

I've know for a long time, 7th grade at least, but didn't necessarily know why till after diagnosis a year ot two ago. Just the way I process information and my thought processes seemed to be vastly different than anyone else I knew/know. Maybe I'm the oddball, but I'm guessing it's all tied together with bipolar.

Thanks for indulging me!! Preemptive internet hugs!!

I knew I was different and didn't fit in with other girls, quite possibly for another reason entirely, when I was in third grade.

[Nessa213]

I was probably in about third or fourth grade when I first noticed how different I was from everyone else. But wasn't until I was about 16 when I knew something was REALLY wrong with me.

And even then, it wasn't until recently that I put it all together. Sort of.

[manymiles]

I still don't realize it, but today pdoc said something about medication and brain function.

I've mostly felt that it's not my brain it's that folks don't understand me, still I feel this way.

Recently diagnosed. Denial is not a river in Egypt so they say

[A Red Panda]

I noticed something was off when I was young - grade school, but probably even before grade 3. I knew I wasn't as happy or confident as everyone else and I was always getting told that I was either too quiet or too chatty - and I didn't know what was going on with that so I kept trying to fix it and it just never worked.

I knew officially by age 11 as that was when I was first suicidal, and I knew that THAT wasn't normal...

Suspected the up and down aspects sometime after then, enough that when I read about bipolar at age 16 or 17 I recognized myself. "Just not that extreme" as I think I read about bp1. Been in a mix of denial and self-training since then.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by CheshireCatGrin

Suspected the up and down aspects sometime after then, enough that when I read about bipolar at age 16 or 17 I recognized myself. "Just not that extreme" as I think I read about bp1. Been in a mix of denial and self-training since then.

I had a similar experience! In high school my friend and I were watching a video in chem class about the elements. They got to lithium and started explaining bipolar disorder. My friend turned to me and said "that's you!"

[Anika.]

I was in kidergarten when I saw my first counsellor for depression and by grade " one readiness" class ( I was held back for not being "emotionally ready" ) I saw my first therapist for anorexia. So I pretty much had fiqured out by that point that I was not like others. Which led to some heavy isolation back then. I starting having psychosis around 11 and first long bad manic episode at about 14. By that point I really knew I was different.

Hugs right back at you

Funny when I met my bf he told me I was the most emotionally stable girl he knew. And then he got to know me better

[BPinCali]

I started experiencing depressive episodes when I was eight. I knew I was bipolar by the time I was sixteen. My father was a therapist for 35 years and he recognized some signs. He couldn't be objective with me. So I was interviewed by a panel of three psych docs. They said my behavior was because of a lot of teenage drama, problems with my boyfriend and that I would go out drinking. Granted, all these things were true. But what I was experiencing was on a whole other level. I KNEW I was bipolar. I occasionally have seizures, which start off felling like a panic attack. I told my neurologist I was experiencing the symptoms several times a day. He said what I was describing didn't sound seizure related and left it at that. No psych referral, nothing. So I suffered horrible panic attacks and the BP for seven more years. I was finally diagnosed with BP and anxiety at 23 after experiencing mania, feeling a strong need to self harm and having wild explosions of anger. By the time I was diagnosed I had already experience seven years of hell. And it wasn't that I was avoiding the issue, in denial or fighting treatment. I was begging for help. They all said there was nothing wrong. How weird is that? If only that panel of docs had seen past the 'teen drama'. On a side note. My neurologist prescribed tegretol for my seizure symptoms when I was 15. I sometimes wonder what my symptoms might have been like if I hadn't been on tegretol that whole time.

[TheStallion]

I knew I was different the first day I walked into kindergarten. I knew I was depressed beyond a "phase" at 16. Bipolar at 22.

[mamawifeandmanic]

I endured sexual abuse as a small child, so was in therapy at five foe that. I was always eccentric and have had to have everything in a precise place or it ruins my day. I'm an only child so I think it wasn't as apparent until I started living w boyfriends lol. By 9 I was diagnosed with migraines w aura, my mom tried to kill herself in front of me later that year and I spent several months in mental hospital because of it. So I have been off since then
Bipolar 1 diagnosis at 11, same year had first and only suicide attempt. Helacious teen years... found God at 17 and my life has been amazing but now cannot control my bipolar on my own...

[bluemountains]

I knew I was different but I thought it was because I was sexually abused starting at age 4. Maybe it was this, I don't know. Because there was very little care from adults in my home, I never had the mental help I needed until I was 19 and looked for answers. My first difference I noticed was that I didn't want people to "see" me. I wanted to be invisible. I would find places to hide for long periods of time. Even as a young adult, I would leave my college roommates for hours, sometimes overnight and never tell them where I was. Their speculation was a lot more exciting than what actually went on. I would find an academic building that stayed open all night and camp out in a dark classroom. I had, and still have, lots of behaviors that aren't "normal", but I work hard to keep it together for my kids.
Bluemountains

[Secretum]

I was a weird kid, but I thought that I was normal, albeit maybe a bit "sensitive". Everyone else was weird. At age 10, I started feeling different, and when I had my first bp symptoms at 12, I then felt completely isolated from the rest of humanity. Still don't feel "normal".

I don't believe I've ever felt my brain worked differently from "normal" people. I have a pretty efficient brain actually. What I was aware of was depression starting fairly young. Just wouldn't characterize that as my brain being different; that never crossed my mind.

[EternalWinter]

From when I was at least grade 2. I was never able to sit still and just do my work like everyone else. My teacher put my desk in the corner facing the wall away from everyone else. I realized then im not like the others

[Moose72]

I was always very creative and saw the world differently than most people. As a teenager, I got overly emotional at times and I heard voices, that I only NOW can look back and say, "aha!" I still see the world differently, but I enjoy it. The hallucinations don't scare me.

[Trippin2.0]

My processor is just fine actually....

The only toys I really liked were plastic guns and a collection of cars for when I played outside with the boys.

I fell inlove with reading when I was 4, but only ever owned 1 fairytale, and that I won at school. I still have that Alice in Wonderland...

The rest of my stuff were made up of things like Moon Landing doccies ( got it for my 8th bday and still have it ) books on Ancient Civilizations, Encyclopaedias, Dictionaries, DIY dinosaur models and their accompanying books and videos. I also had a vast collection of puzzles, OMG I LOVED puzzles! I listened to alot of Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, and Beatles! Oh and I also strangely enough collected silk worms for like 2 years.. This was all between the ages of 5 and 13, so yeah, while I was a weird kid, who was sweet as honey or deadly blackout type angry.... my brain worked just fine

I knew I was different early (obviously given what I just typed) , but I knew something was dangerously wrong at age 14...

[Chupacabra]

So strange that I identify so much with what you've all said here. Always have been different. Preferred to be alone because I knew I wasn't the same as others. And knew they could tell. And funny now, as an adult, I know how I to act & people seem to like me- I still know I'm different... Still prefer to be alone, only truly comfortable with my boyfriend, can only tolerate being around groups of people for so long. Being a nurse is tiring sometimes, because of all the interaction, but also works for me because I'm not around large groups of people at a time. Posting a link to my introduction because it touches on a lot of this stuff..

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=267113

Sorry this was a bit disorganized. Have a rough time in the brain these days.

[wildflowerchild25]

i knew i was different in preschool when my teacher decided to teach me reading because i hated playing with the other kids. suffered from crippling anxiety as small child. had all sorts of rituals i had to go through - holding breath near cemeteries, crossing fingers in elevators, saying a specific prayer at night. i never fit in with other kids and was perpetually alone. i was sad in the hospital when we did a meditation exercise because i couldn't remember a time when i was happy....(i finally did though, seventh grade)

i didn't become depressed until fifth grade but my father died that year so that's understandable. i stayed depressed until seventh grade when suddenly everything seemed brighter and happier. i had a great year. then eighth grade took me into severe suicidal depression which i have been struggling with ever since.

[~Christina]

I knew at age 6

[faerie_moon_x]

I knew early, too. Age six and first grade. That's really when I start remembering things clearly. First off, I was a talker. (Shock.) So, I always got in trouble with my teacher for talking and had to have my desk moved up against the blackboard so I was alone. A lot of bad stuff happened in first grade....

Then in second grade was when I started to learn that kids had some sort of avoidance radar with me. It got worse instead of just "avoid" it became "bully." I believed I must have been an alien or something because of it. By the third grade I fully believed all the kids in my class were spying on me. I didn't fit in anywhere, not with my family or church or school. I was just an outcast.

[oncewasara]

I always wonder what "normal" is? Someone told me, when I feel at my best, that's my normal. Hmmm. IDK

[Otter63]

I can see in hindsight some signs of bp as a child. I think I've always been a bit more passionate than most. I also got in trouble for talking too much in kindergarten. More than once I rallied kids in protest at school. Once against a bad substitute teacher and once against bad hot dogs.

I feel like I was fairly happy until I had my first period at fourteen and had a rather intense PMS. Jr high wasn't bad but high school was very hard.

My sophomore year I was suddenly popular and I was a whiz on the volleyball court. I even signed up for varsity volleyball for the next year. Over the summer I had my first bad depression and my Junior year was a train wreck. My teachers wondered what had happened to me and I didn't know either. I sat on the bench the whole year for volleyball and when they did put me in my teammates were pissed because I was horrible.

Psychotic at 18. Psych ward, Haldol, Thorazine, five point restraints.

Fast forward through ups and downs. Psych wards when up and suicidal when down.

At the moment pretty content and grateful. Hoping lithium will keep me sane.

[ParchworkQuilt]

When as a toddler I used to hold my breath until I passed out...

[2BrainsNoAnswers]

Probably the middle-end of 8th grade I thought there was somehing defintiely going on. By 9th grade I was well aware I saw thing differently. Was diagnosed with MDD only tip find out at a treatment center I have bipolar 1.
I guess I've always known though, really.

When I was a child I did feel differently than others.

But I really knew when I went into a psychosis 2 yrs ago and ended up in the hospital. That's when I was diagnosed with bipolar.