[hamster-bamster]

I am finding myself in the habit of over-scheduling/mis-prioritizing such that I end up doing many things at the last moment. Usually, it is OK - I come out all right. I do enjoy it. I used to think that it was hypomanic. Now I do not think that, because hypomania is a part of some kind of an endogenous cycle - endogenous at least to some degree. But I am not generating this kind of thing endogenously - I am reacting to the objective reality such as the flight schedule. Basically, I use the opportunity when it presents itself. It appears that I like being worried that I would not make it in time, but when I finally make it in time (a close shave), I feel elation mixed in with relief. It also does not last long - at most a couple of days, so it does not seem to be hypomania. Also, I very much need sleep, still.

I wonder if this is some sort of a mild adrenaline junkie-ship? Say, there are people who like extreme sports - you would not say that they are manic throughout, but you would say that they are adrenaline junkies. Right? Am I making sense?

Or perhaps it is some sort of the underside of procrastination? Procrastinate procrastinate procrastinate... and then do a million things at the last moment and make the deadline and feel "Oh joy!". Almost as if doing things correctly, in a timely, composed manner, without procrastination is boring to me. I do not know. But there is a pattern since adolescence for sure.

[ultramar]

This is an interesting point. It brings to light, too, the fact that people can be elated (for all kinds of reasons, including that which comes from extreme sports, whatever gets people's adrenaline going) quite apart from bipolar.

The release of endorphins feels good, some people probably get hyper-energetic, elated, etc. I guess the difference in bipolar is that, instead of it stopping at elation and things soon and naturally going back down to baseline, hypo/manic episodes can continue, persist and get pretty ugly.

But there's something to be said for the good parts of hypo/mania, and I think this is one reason why some people stop taking their meds, forgetting what else can accompany -or appear after- the good part.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by ultramar

I guess the difference in bipolar is that, instead of it stopping at elation and things soon and naturally going back down to baseline

Ultramar, I think you answered my question. I go back to the baseline soon. But I do enjoy the elation, even though it lasts for a short while.

I guess I need to train myself to enjoy proper event planning .

[unaluna]

I know - a young Indian woman I once worked with whose brother was a doctor told me that I could not continue to work the way I did - I was going to "blow". I used to say I had two speeds - fast, and off.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by hankster

I used to say I had two speeds - fast, and off.

that is me. I never thought about it, but that sums it up for me. No middle ground.