[~Christina]

Yes boundaries ! We all need them of course.

But do we use them like we should ? How do we use them once we have already been sucked into a situation ?

Just curious how people are able to use them.

Thanks

[Trippin2.0]

I'll give it a shot sis
See some of my boundaries are kinda floppy, I allow them to be pushed at times and sometimes depending on the situation I allow them to bend.

I only have 1 clear boundary that I implemented last year, NO BS. I don't allow people to disrespect me, I don't allow people to walk over me, I don't allow even a hint of toxicity.

No matter how close we are, or what that person's title is in my life, I will and do cut them loose, family included. I will forgive and forget once, if you repeat your "transgression" knowing it was an issue for me before, well then clearly I am not important to you so I cut off contact. I don't hold grudges, I forgive, but I definitely do burn bridges, preventing them from repeating this boundary bridge crossing bs.

Now if someone has crossed a boundary, one I very much need to re-implement, I believe in communication. Stating the obvious isn't always the obvious to the people who need stating. So I calmly talk, or email explaining what my boundary is, maybe even why I let them cross it, and that it is currently erected and I would appreciate it being respected.

I'm rambly hope that made some sense and wasn't toooo longwinded

[A Red Panda]

Boundaries? hahahahaha.

I run away.

Hello unhealthy coping mech! But yes. If someone keeps pushing into my boundaries... I pretty much run away. I'll try backing away slowly to see if they stop on their own... and when they don't... I'm gone.

Then again - I have physical boundaries and I will state it loud and clear. To anyone. My students get sent to their seats if they swarm me because they're in my space and I need them out of my space. And I tend to go "don't touch me!" if I'm on edge and someone touches me when they shouldn't. Friends tend to know that I have issues with touching, so they ask.

[unaluna]

So what's the opposite of a boundary? Guilt? For example, my cousin called me this summer and among other things wanted to verify my email address so my mother could write to me. What?? After the phone call, my phone blew up and the phone store had to hard restart it and I ended up losing my old email ( I forgot my password, but i like blaming it on the relatives!). Guilt would have me call my cousin back with my new email. Boundaries tell me to keep my big mouth shut. They have my phone number and my address, that's enough.