[phoenix2013]

I'm 18 years old and I'm a freshman at a university. I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder although I've been taking medication since age 15. I'm currently on 200mg of Lamictal and 80mg of Geodon and the combination works really well for me. I've never been in a relationship and I'm kind of seeing this boy, but we aren't officially dating. I like him a lot and he's really nice. I could see our relationship turning into something meaningful and I want that so much. The only problem is that he's a partier and likes to drink. I like going to parties, but I will not drink. He knows that I don't drink and I told him that it was because I didn't like the taste of alcohol and that I had an uncle that nearly died because of alcoholism (which is actually true). I live a very straight edge lifestyle and I already know the dangers of mixing alcohol with my medications. I have no problem with him drinking. I've never gotten drunk and I've never drank more than a few sips of beer. I'm also religious and he isn't and I think he thinks that I don't drink because I'm Christian, which is totally untrue. He doesn't pressure me to drink, but once told me that it would be nice if I drank a little. I want him to like me and not think I'm boring, but I'm not willing to jeopardize my mental well being in order to drink with him. Many people drink in college and sometimes I hate my disorder because I feel like I'm left out. He doesn't know that I'm bipolar and I wasn't planning to tell him, but I feel like I have to in order for him to truly understand why I can't drink. I don't know him well enough to tell if he could be supportive and I'm afraid that if I tell him that I'm bipolar it will scare him away. I have no idea what to do!

[Victoria'smom]

I would choose a drink that that has very little alcohol and sip it if you want to. I tell people I'm an alcoholic. They usually just leave me alone after that no judgment. I'm not and I know it's a bit wrong to use that but it's a quick way for no judgment and no pressure. I do have a couple of shots here and there but I skip meds that night.

[~Christina]

Okay you and him are not "officially dating?".. So there is no need for you to explain to him why in detail you don't drink.. I also wouldn't advise you ordering something just to fit in or appease him.

I would caution you to not feel the need to explain your bipolar to him until you can see a future with him.

He should like you for YOU .. You shouldn't be worried about making him like you.

Stick to your decisions about how you want to live you life.

Be very careful telling people about Bi polar, especially 18 year old boys. They are not the most mature creatures. Stick to your values, if you dont wish to drink on meds then dont do it, and you do not have to give any reason as to why you arnt. When I dont want to drink in social situations I just say I am on antibiotics, everyone knows how that messes you up, so I dont get bugged about it.

[medicalfox]

I wouldn't tell him unless you've been in a relationship with him for a while. I dated a guy my freshman year in college and he was a partier which led to trouble. I'm edge too since I'm sort of into the hardcore scene so dating a partier wasn't ideal for me. Telling people at our age of a mental illness is a big no because if you tell the wrong people they will tell everyone or worse they will use it aggainst you. My ex told all of his friends that I was bipolar aka "crazy" so I got shunned by a lot of people.

With the partying, tell people you don't drink and they should leave you alone if you tell them you're edge. I always drink juice and people don't question my actions. I also don't go to parties all the time since it's not my scene/style so people understand that if I go to a party it's because of someone's birthday or some sort of occasion. Btw if you feel left out in college join a sports team or a club, I was an active member in The Wildlife Society and I enjoyed it a lot.

[Moose72]

I agree with everyone else here and want to add that this won't be your last boyfriend. Do what you feel comfortable with for you.

[ultramar]

It sounds like you wouldn't be drinking even if you didn't have bipolar (even if it didn't interact with meds, etc.), so I would stick with whatever explanations don't have to do with bipolar, since it seems it would be truthful anyway.

As someone else said, I definitely wouldn't tell an 18 year old about bipolar --they're likely to misunderstand it and keeping it out of the picture makes the relationship about *you* and not your disorder (which might end up happening otherwise).

As others have said, I'd suggest sticking to your guns about what you feel is best for you. Drinking/partying doesn't make one interesting. I'm sure there are things you do and ways you think that make you interesting and this, and other things, are what you can offer in the relationship. If he can't accept that, well... It sounds like you're just 'dating' it's not too serious, so if it doesn't work out then not the end of the world. In college, there's tons to choose from!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ultramar

It sounds like you wouldn't be drinking even if you didn't have bipolar (even if it didn't interact with meds, etc.), so I would stick with whatever explanations don't have to do with bipolar, since it seems it would be truthful anyway.

As someone else said, I definitely wouldn't tell an 18 year old about bipolar --they're likely to misunderstand it and keeping it out of the picture makes the relationship about *you* and not your disorder (which might end up happening otherwise).

As others have said, I'd suggest sticking to your guns about what you feel is best for you. Drinking/partying doesn't make one interesting. I'm sure there are things you do and ways you think that make you interesting and this, and other things, are what you can offer in the relationship. If he can't accept that, well... It sounds like you're just 'dating' it's not too serious, so if it doesn't work out then not the end of the world. In college, there's tons to choose from!

I agree!

[phoenix2013]

I've already been a victim of stigma. My first roommate went through my stuff and found my medication. She Googled it and ended up finding out that I was bipolar. What's even worse was that she told her friends who had no right of knowing. I've decided that I'm not going to tell him. My excuse is going to be that because I've had an alcoholic uncle that I'm genetically predisposed to alcoholism. That is not a lie. Do any of you think he'll buy it?

[~Christina]

I personally don't understand why you feel the need to explain why you don't want to drink... I say just stand up for your self and say I do not drink because its just not for me ... period. end. of. story.

Good luck with however you handle this