My boyfriend and I both have bipolar 1. Our relationship is solid and healthy - but we are both on disability and have a lot of daily life challenges (who doesn't, I know?).

Problem is that we tend to trigger each other when depressed. We love each other very much and live together - so we are around each other alot. I am a near hermit due to social anxiety, but I do get out now and then. Our budget is limited, but we will go out to lunch occasionally, take my daughter to a movie, etc.

The holidays are a depressing time for me this year - and I was pulling out of what was turning into a scary, dreaded depression. I don't expect him to "fix me" and he doesn't tell me to "snap out of it"….we don't do that to each other. So things are healthy in that respect. I'm just more withdrawn lately and canceling appointments and decline in showering…you guys can relate, I imagine.

Unfortunately, I guess my mood started to get him depressed, too. He has good boundaries and typically is just fine when I am depressed. Which is good. But now he is entering a depressive slump. I feel guilty and now I'm sliding back in.

We are both on meds, in treatment, etc. Not suicidal. Just doing the "existing thing" and Christmas is something that I wish wasn't even coming. Doing the best I can. Have some simple decorations up and some gifts under the tree.

I wish one of us could cheer the other up….I hate bringing my boyfriend down. I'm typically the one to enter a low mood state when he is depressed. We aren't arguing. But somehow I seem to have caused his depression.

Ugh, I feel like a loser. Like life is slipping away and I'm wasting precious time on earth being such a downer. The rest of the time I just wish I could sleep and not wake up until I feel better.

Can anyone relate? Any ideas? Words of hope? I know it will get better. It's hard to see that right now. Both my boyfriend and I tend towards mania…depression is not new to us….I wish we could get off this bad track.

[monochromatic]

Sunshine and exercise always help me. Could you two try to take a walk everyday?

If you do things to help yourself, but involve him, then you can help him AND you. I think that I tend to focus solely on those around me, but I really need to put myself first. Sounds like you might need to do the same.

[BlackPup]

Sometimes just existing is good enough. Particularly during stressful times like the holidays. Hoping that you both recover soon.