I have been super irritable today. Managed to keep myself out of trouble at work by staying out of sight doing busy work. But now I am home. The GF wants affection and I have told her I feel elevated right now but I don't think she gets it. I really DO NOT want to rage out again. I feel it though. I am tense in my neck and chest. Every little irritation makes the anger just wash right over me till it's all I feel. Takes a lot to ground myself BUT I AM DOING IT and I am proud of it, though I don't get a chance to celebrate before the next wave of emotion threatens to topple me. Now I am just trying to make it through the night without thinking my GF is trying control or manipulate me. I just absolutely want to avoid raging at all costs.
I swear this was all easier to deal with BEFORE I was diagnosed