[cashart10]

My mood has been elevated the last few days. My husband is worried that I will become manic again (which is detrimental, I realize). I'm not even sure that's possible anymore because of the lithium. Anyway, the ways he is trying to control my mood are ridiculous. Last night he insisted I not listen to music through my headphones because when I do I stay up all night. Then this morning, he insisted I not go to Starbucks which he admitted was because he didn't want me driving alone (I have a tendancy to drive like a maniac when manic). He wants the credit cards. He told me not to take a long, late night shower (I once took a six hour shower that was full of hallucinations). He even told me to stop talking because I was talking too fast and too much. I understand why he is trying to control the situation (not the first time he;s done this, just the worst) but how do I get him to stop? Geez!

[Victoria'smom]

"Babe, hi it's me, I'm not a 5 yr old. If you are concerned I'll call the dr. Monday but you need to understand you have less control over my moods than I do. I know you're scared, I love you and I know your trying to protect me but that's not your job, I hired people for that."

My husband hate's when I start a conversation with "Babe, hi it's me ...." he know's I'll accuse him of being over-reacting.

[~Christina]

You can go manic anytime regardless of whatever medication(s) you may be on . Part of the joys of Bipolar

A few times my husband has voiced his concern if I seem to be way out heading to left field... But the kind of hovering you are dealing with ? Hell no ! I would snap just on principle alone.

MM gave a wonderful example of how to hopefully help him realize he could and should back off some if not all the way.

Good luck !

It can be hard on significant others when they've been watching you struggle & playing "therapist" for a while. You'll have to sit down with him & talk about this. Or write a letter! But you have to let him know that you are taking care of this &, while you appreciate him looking out for you, that he doesn't need to make himself sick with worry. Something along those lines.

[cashart10]

Thank you all very much. Christina: "But the kind of hovering you are dealing with ? Hell no ! I would snap just on principle alone."
That was the reason for the post. I was about to lose it on him, lol.

I did try to talk to him but he just apologized and said he hasn't felt well and was "taking it out on me." Whatever. But, I asked him if he was worried and that was a different story. He really is good intentioned but he is driving me crazy! I think I will try to write him a letter to avoid a fight. Thanks again for the advice.

[Skittles56]

I can sympathize with him, though I think he is going a little overboard. Having seriously ****ed up my life during my last mania, I might find my wife's concern a little stifling, but I prefer that to running wild in the street.

Maybe you can just tell him to give you a tiny bit of space.

[A Red Panda]

I'd be suppppppper pissed if anyone tried to control my life like that.

Do you think that you and your husband could sit down at some point and make a plan for how he can help? He's probably just trying all the ideas he has and they're clearly (and understandably!) pissing you off.

Like... him being worried about you driving because you drive like a maniac when you're manic? That's totally a valid concern for your safety. Could you compromise about that somehow? Are you a manic spender? If you ARE a manic spender, then why don't you two make a compromise to help you keep finances under control? You can easily have just a debit card that has a certain spending cap on it. Like.. I'm not a manic spender. So I'd be livid if anyone wanted control of my finances. But if you are, why not think of something yourself that could just become your all-the-time situation so that you don't end up feeling like something gets taken away?

What's your sleep routine like? It sounds like the music and the shower are messing up the sleep routine. Personally, I keep a pretty strict routine and go to bed within a two-hour grace period. No matter how hyper I am, I am IN that bed by a certain time. If you have a good sleep routine then that would help prevent the all-night-shower scenario.

But really, you should be the person picking out the methods that would help you stay on top of things - it is totally not his job to be acting like a babysitter! He needs to remember that when you try to control someone's every move they are going to totally rebel against it.