[Victoria'smom]

I think I crashed, I'm numb. I don't think it's ever happened to me. It's calming, comforting, painful, scary and sad. How do I get out of this?

i'm sorry... i hope you manage to find a way out of it

[dragonfly2]

MM, I haven't gone too far back, but it looks like you've been struggling for a while and are having a difficult time getting a hold of your providers. After what you've been through lately, a crash is a dangerous thing. It always has the potential to be dangerous, but I'm concerned that this could be a serious one for you.

As a last-ditch effort to get a hold of your T or pdoc, I'd suggest just going to their offices and asking to speak with them TODAY. Not to be belligerent about it, but tell the receptionist that you've been unwell and have been trying to reach them, to no avail, and you're hoping to avoid a hospitalization. If they are unwilling to give you five minutes of their time, then it's time to find new providers. BP is serious stuff and neither you nor your family can afford to have providers who ignore you.

Are you feeling suicidal? If they aren't willing to see you, then it may be time to head to the ER. to you.

I've been through the crash, twice. The first time I should have been in the hospital, the second time I did go to the hospital, I wasn't safe. Please get help MM.

[Victoria'smom]

I just woke up (11pm here), I think my son gave me whatever infection he had. I absolutely detest being infectious. Hopefully I won't be infectious by Wednesday. I'm no longer even going to try getting a hold of them unless it's an emergency. I'll probably talk to T about it on Wednesday. I'm not suicidal, I've never actually been suicidal so that would be new thing but guilt is new thing also.

[cashart10]

...I hope this doesn't last long for you and you feel back to yourself soon!