[noclevermonicker]

I have 5 children...16, 13, 8, 5 and 2...and have explained to one extent or another my mental illness. From "Sometimes Mommy's sad and needs some extra time alone" to "Remember when I was in the hospital, that is why I take meds everyday." My 16yo fully understands everything, I just haven't named it for him. My 13yo is getting there too. I wonder, how did you sit your teens down and explain bipolar? It's something they're going to have to look out for as well, now that they're reaching their late teens.

[Trippin2.0]

I actually told my daughter when she was 6 1/2. I have no idea how to tell a grown child, although I don't imagine either of yours will be shocked, kids are more attuned and understand much more than a lot of us give them credit for...

Why not print out a BP fact sheet, sit them down and say something like, "The name of my illness is Bipolar Disorder, I think you 2 are old enough to understand and accept this about me, do you have any questions?"

Don't go scaring them with genes that may not even be a problem, but answer their questions as directly and accurately as you can and encourage them to enquire at anytime.

Leaving the lines of communication open regarding info about bp will prove beneficial, should either of them become worried about being symptomatic.

i don't have children, so i can't really answer- but i think trippin's idea of the fact sheet is awsome

good luck

Gradually and age appropriately.

I have no idea how to approach this with my child. I don't feel at the moment it is needed they are only 6 going on 7 at Xmas. So all my child needs to know is mummy's medicine helps her to be happy. When they are older well I just don't know, how do you tell your child you are Bipolar and that there is a risk they might be one day??

[Phoenix_1]

My daughters are 33 and 36, and I haven't told them.
My youngest knows that I have clinical depression, because that was my dx until 2011.
My oldest is a know it all and a sceptic, and she has 2 B.A.'s - in Psychology and Sociology. I've told her nothing. I'm sure she knows something is wrong, because she's very smart, but I haven't told her outright. Also, to be fair, my oldest daughter had a baby girl in 2010 who passed away last Easter at the age of 3. They spent all their time from 2010 until Easter 2013 running from dr to dr and hospital to hospital with my granddaughter. I felt it wasn't fair to burden her with my problems.
When I had surgery last month, I left letters to them about my dx, along with my advanced health care directive and will, so that they could find out and watch for it in themselves and their own families if anything happened to me during surgery. I've also been keeping an eye on them and their kids and have seen no signs of it so far, although my oldest has OCD.
I have no idea how to come out and tell them at this late date. My youngest is very religious, and would want to pray for me. My oldest is a sceptic and may not even believe me.
Any suggestions?

[BipolaRNurse]

All of my kids were grown when I was finally diagnosed at age 53. Not one of them was shocked by the news; only the oldest asked "Why are you seeing a psychiatrist, Mom?" when I first told them I was going.

Now the grandkids who are close to me (ages 8 and 6) are beginning to wonder about it, as they've heard snippets of conversation between their parents and me. They have one uncle called Crazy Chris, who has schizophrenia and does some really bizarre things when in the throes of his illness; they have a vague knowledge that Grandma has something wrong with her brain too, but nobody has sat down with them to explain what bipolar disorder is.

I've asked my daughter if I should do this. I want them to understand that I do have a mental illness, but I control it with medicine and I'm fine most of the time. They've rarely seen me in a mood episode, only that sometimes I'm irritable and sad, and other times I'm overly happy and loud. My daughter told me she'd rather put it off until they're a little older. I don't blame her, but OTOH these two boys are not stupid and they've noticed that I'm a bit of an odd duck.

[RenjiCat]

I told my girls last year... they were 13 and 10. I told them together.. it was just easier for me that way. I sat them down and explained it as frankly and as simply as I possibly could. I told them I was getting help and taking medicines (I was at that time) and that I was better. I asked if they had any question at all and they had a few which I answered honestly. I'm as open as I feel I can be with my girls. They don't know everything but they know enough.

Children are very smart! They know when something is not right, and for me it was important that I be the one who explained it to them.

I love the idea of a fact sheet. I wish I would have thought of that myself!

[Victoria'smom]

It's been a gradual thing and an everyday thing. At 4 he knew we took meds for our head boo-boo's as he got older that wasn't enough and he asked for the real name. He later asked if it was genetic. We told him yes so he need to talk to us when he gets really sad and that's why he goes to his T. Then later he asked if he had it too, we told him no he has adhd (Yes we lied but he doesn't need to know his other Dx's at this age.) So it's age appropriateness things.

The easiest way to explain it is to draw a line horizontal line on a paper labeled it base line. A line above and below the "Base line" and colored it in (with high lighter) label that normal range. above and below the "normal range" do a depression and manic line. Then make a wave line with how BP affects you. Make sure they know your meds make it so your closer to "normal range". Have them tell you the symptoms they see when manic/depressed. I know it sounds babyish but visuals are always good.

[noclevermonicker]

Thanks for the responses everyone!

[vjdragonfly]

I was dx in `07. My daughter was 11 and my son was 6. I don't quite remember how I went about it exactly, but I do remember discussing it with my family (after the initial shock) like it was any other illness. My daughter grasped it sooner then my son (I'm sure it really didn't mean much to him at the time). Basically as they grew up it was a normalcy in the household. It was not treated as a big deal, just that mom has mental health issues and they learned how to handle these times through talking and living through them. Most children know when something is not right, all you are doing is putting a name to it. It helps to include everyone in the immediate household and educate them on how they can help you. I know my daughter will pick up on a mood change and say something and I don't even realize it is happening. The young ones are not going to understand now, but if they are raised openly around it, it seems to have a smoother transition. Plus, if they do end up with it (as my daughter has been dx with a mood disorder that they umbrella cause of her age) they have a better knowledge on what to look for and expect.

My kids were 15 and 17 when I got sick and were witness to most of my behavior. I was very open with them when I was first dxed depressed then dxed bipolar. They didnt really want to hear it, moms arent supposed to get sick, plus it was scary. Usually they would say stuff like 'just stop being sad.' As they got older it wasnt as big a deal, I have only had one major episode since that first one with them still home that involved my first and only, so far, trip to the hospital. It doesnt usually come up anymore but when it does we are matter of fact about it. They are 22 and 24 now.