[Ash89]

My mind NEVER stops. There are always thoughts which trail into other thoughts into other thoughts et cetera. It takes a while for me to acknowledge it and try to slow it down, but the quiet never lasts for long. Anyways, there's a popular trend in where my thoughts end up, it's always in the past.

I'm always thinking about people I haven't talked with in years, situations I was in that I could've handled differently, so on and so forth. These things are things I will never be able to change, these things are behind me, and yet a lot of these things still define me! It's like I have such a hard time separating who I am now from my opinion of who I was when all of these things happened and how those who mistreated me made me feel.

I'm in counseling and I'm handling these things. But the thought process is so automatic I don't even have to consciously attempt to make it happen. Working on it will eventually make it better I think.

Really not trying to be a downer, I was just wondering if anyone else went through this.

[duality_reality]

You're not alone... thoughts are impulses, just like any other. The past is hazy, but it's our reference guide. We unfortunately have an unpredictable anatomy, and I believe it's perfectly normal to seek answers about ourselves through ourselves-- our experience, our pain, and our naivety. Does that mean it's healthy? No. But, you said you're working on it-- I see it as taking stock, sometimes that takes a little more reflection for some than others.

Letting go will be easier, eventually, but only if you want it to be.

"I fixed me when I broke the aggression, but I'm still attracted to my beautiful depression. No thanks to angst, I learned my lesson and can erase the face that can't answer the question."

Try asking yourself what makes you cling. Were you comfortable there? Happy? Are the two the same thing? If yes, why? If no, then why do you, or at least a part of you (your mind) want to return?

Buy some earplugs. When your thoughts race, put them, and deep breath-- the earplugs amplify the sound of your breath and your heart beat, consciously think the words "in" & "out" with every breath, and you'll tune your other thoughts out.

Intrusive looping thoughts are usually a symptom of a hypomanic or mixed episode for me, most times they are about the past. Its very much related to the anxiety that comes along.

[Ash89]

Originally Posted by duality_reality

You're not alone... thoughts are impulses, just like any other. The past is hazy, but it's our reference guide. We unfortunately have an unpredictable anatomy, and I believe it's perfectly normal to seek answers about ourselves through ourselves-- our experience, our pain, and our naivety. ...cont.

That's great advice, with the ear plugs. I think that's something I'm going to have to try, thanks for the idea! I listen to a lot of music, but it doesn't help -every- time. Perhaps focusing inward instead (with the breathing) would really help.

To be honest I just think I'm stuck in the loop of regret. How I should've done things differently, how I wish I could go back in time. I'm always second guessing myself. What's really difficult for me is that I've always thought like this (and had these insecurities) for as far back as I can remember, middle school and all. I was just now (at 24) diagnosed with BP II and am just now getting properly medicated. I wonder how different I would be now if I caught onto this. There I go again, lol.

Again thanks for the advice.

Originally Posted by emomom

Intrusive looping thoughts are usually a symptom of a hypomanic or mixed episode for me, most times they are about the past. Its very much related to the anxiety that comes along.

It's so crazy you say that! I've read about intrusive thoughts but I guess I never really related it to myself. To be honest I guess I wasn't aware that's what has been happening to me. Hypomanic/mixed? I really should keep better track of my 'cycles'. I think it's really prominent during my mixed episodes. I get all nervous/anxious, and depressed all at once and I can't stop my thought process unless I put a conscious effort into it.

Thanks to the both of you for your helpful responses!

[1776]

Originally Posted by Ash89

My mind NEVER stops. There are always thoughts which trail into other thoughts into other thoughts et cetera. It takes a while for me to acknowledge it and try to slow it down, but the quiet never lasts for long. Anyways, there's a popular trend in where my thoughts end up, it's always in the past.

I'm always thinking about people I haven't talked with in years, situations I was in that I could've handled differently, so on and so forth. These things are things I will never be able to change, these things are behind me, and yet a lot of these things still define me! It's like I have such a hard time separating who I am now from my opinion of who I was when all of these things happened and how those who mistreated me made me feel.

I'm in counseling and I'm handling these things. But the thought process is so automatic I don't even have to consciously attempt to make it happen. Working on it will eventually make it better I think.

Really not trying to be a downer, I was just wondering if anyone else went through this.

YES. I constantly second guess just about every decision or action I've taken in my life. It is so bad it is psychologically debilitating for me. It is the reason I'm exhausted most of the time.

You have no idea what a relief it is to me to find that I'm not alone in this idiosyncrasy.

[thickntired]

Yes. Could of should of would of. I still obsess over crap from high school ( I finished Grad sch in 2000). It drives me nuts. Also OCD can cause intrusive thoughts. I know that it's healthy to live in the present and be in the now but I keep regressing. Thanks for posting.

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[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by Ash89

My mind NEVER stops. There are always thoughts which trail into other thoughts into other thoughts et cetera. It takes a while for me to acknowledge it and try to slow it down, but the quiet never lasts for long. Anyways, there's a popular trend in where my thoughts end up, it's always in the past.

I'm always thinking about people I haven't talked with in years, situations I was in that I could've handled differently, so on and so forth. These things are things I will never be able to change, these things are behind me, and yet a lot of these things still define me! It's like I have such a hard time separating who I am now from my opinion of who I was when all of these things happened and how those who mistreated me made me feel.

I'm in counseling and I'm handling these things. But the thought process is so automatic I don't even have to consciously attempt to make it happen. Working on it will eventually make it better I think.

Really not trying to be a downer, I was just wondering if anyone else went through this.

I've been through that. The past is gone, don't make it your baggage, throw it out with the bathwater. Working on it can make it fade away. It is now like I have a few different lives thus far. The old ones are GONE. I forced them to go.

I too struggled with constantly thinking and regreting and worrying about the past. CBT and mindfulness, along with the occasional puff of weed when the thoughts get too bad fixed mine.

The thoughts were automatic but with constant (and I mean constant) challenging (CBT) I was able to get them under control. While I cant always be mindful, I am getting much better at it. Now when the thoughts start, I can stop them pretty quickly and not let myself spiral downwards.

It does take a lot of consciously changing your thought patterns, not an easy feat but it does fix this problem. You've got to be committed to stopping them as soon as they start and many people just give up because it is "too hard". It comes easier as time goes on.

[Andysmom]

Originally Posted by thickntired

Yes. Could of should of would of. I still obsess over crap from high school ( I finished Grad sch in 2000). It drives me nuts. Also OCD can cause intrusive thoughts. I know that it's healthy to live in the present and be in the now but I keep regressing. Thanks for posting.

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I suffer from the should ofs. Goes back to undergrad. I'm working on this with my T. I am now better at recognizing them. It's hard to get past them.

[steelfang]

I battle with this problem too and find that by worrying about my mind going in circles simply feeds the racing thoughts and in turn makes them run faster. When I get this I simply accept that my brain is I running faster than usual and try not to think about it too much so that anxiety does not have a compounding effect on my fast mind. Simply think of your mind as a broken tv which keeps changing channels on its own. There is nothing you can do about the machines malfunction and you eventually learn to ignore its fast paced channel switching.

This works for me about 90% of the time and I do not have to use a depressant. It kind of takes a few times before you get the hang of it.