[dubblemonkey]

I must be gentle with this silly almost absurd idea...
especially since I have very little hardly a grip

life is abundant in features and it's further enhanced by personalities...

how does this life this arrangement of individual abilities manage to occupy a single space?

too me it all seems delusional that I embark on the future...

my interaction with this absolute madness is only complete by my absolute sadness...

I know this is the only opportunity to be me...

but I am the victim of my own personal destruction...

...I manage to hurt myself so bad and miss everything so sad!

it's always been up to me to identify myself with life...

and I have chosen death through my illness....
such an abandonment and such a shame and it sure has hurt this way...
I am aware of my terrible state of mind and I persist...

I may die because of it but I must be aware of why...

it is such a fight a battle of senses...

I seem to have too many...

I consider myself successful when I accept that it's not my fault

...and then I can appreciate the very many dimensions I exist in...

there is no black and white with this illness..

the colours are so beautiful indeed...

the depths are secret and dangerous

the hugs down here break the souls of others...

these thoughts were on and in my mind tonight

love..DM