[jesusplay]

Like today, I can't get comfortable, I have a tension headache, I'm annoyed by everything, I can't listen to music, I haven't watched any tv today, I just want to get out of my head, i'm so frustrated.

yesterday I just wanted to die and curl into a ball and I cried alot.

sat & sun day I was having suicidal thoughts

I've been going through a depressive state for months now.

I've been taking 1200 mg of lithium for about 2 months with a blood level of ".5" and 80mg of geodon

ugh

[jesusplay]

oh and my genius new pdoc took me off seroquel so now I'm awake at freak 12am

[ayana95]

Your not alone at not being able to sleep. I've been depressed lately and have been having suicidal thoughts. A lot of changes are happening in my life. I have days I'm up over 24hrs and I'm irritable. I try to journal. It helps to write down what I'm feeling. Music and watching my favorite show on video helps.
I hope you feel better soon.

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

oh and my genius new pdoc took me off seroquel so now I'm awake at freak 12am

why did he take u off seroquel?

[jesusplay]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

why did he take u off seroquel?

geodon + Seroquel = heart failure

know for bad interactions.

geodon seemed so promising....my next date is like at the end of the month

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

geodon + Seroquel = heart failure

know for bad interactions.

geodon seemed so promising....my next date is like at the end of the month

ahh ok. I just got on Seroquel and love it. Would hate if my doc stopped it on me. Without it I can't sleep. thx.

jesusplay, I feel exactly the way you do. More sui thoughts and no matter what I do, I can' seem to relax. CONSTANTLY thinking instead of just relaxing and letting life flow. Been in a depression for months too. No activities seem enjoyable to me. I'm just watching my life pass me by. It sucks. Hang in there.

[Phoenix_1]

Some days everything irritates me. I don't think it's related to depression or hypomania. It seems that if something goes wrong in my life, I get really pi**ed off at everything. I even talk back to the TV.

[Felgore]

I know that feeling. Nothing is enjoyable, everything is suddenly irritating. Yelling at even the television. Feeling like disappearing. Wishing I hadn't been born. Trying not to snap at my husband when he does things that he should know by now goes against my compulsive ways. I even yelled at the neighbor's dog the other morning because she kept letting it bark outside my window and it woke me up. I should have said something to her..but I screamed at her dog. I can't even say it made me feel better. I never used to be an angry person, but more and more I get irritable.

I wish I could say that I've been depressed a month here or there, but for me.. I just idle there. Always feeling this way, it eats at you everyday. A few years ago I'd talked to a psychiatrist and he told me that since I've been this way since I was still a kid, that it's likely part of my personality now. Seeing everyone so busy in their lives, seeing people being happy, it furthers the feeling that I live in a world that I don't belong in. Sometimes it makes me feel bitter. Mostly, I just feel hopeless. And lonely.

So you're definitely not alone. I think the irritability gets the better of all of us sometimes. It's hard, but knowing other people feel the same ways that you do (even though the idea of other people also suffering sucks), it's kind of reassuring in a world that treats 'bipolar' as a word for crazy.