Not fitting in.

I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I notice it at work when the same groups of people eat lunch together and I'm left alone. I feel like I'm in school again.

I socialize with my co workers, but it feels so one sided. Is my bipolar ness that obvious?

I have always felt this way. I mean always, from a very young age. When my peers were playing in preschool, I was learning to read with the teacher. I have never ever felt like I belonged. Even at my summer job, where everyone acts like a family, I have been the outsider. I worked there for five years. Then of course my boss dropped me like the proverbial hot potato when my dx came out.

I'm just not good at sustaining friendships. I've never been friends with someone for more than a few years, if that. Sometimes I really get jealous of people who say they have a best friend, or that they've been friends with someone since elementary school, or even high school. I talk with NO ONE from high school. Not one person. The only person I've been able to maintain a friendship with is my sister in law, and that's only because she is family.

I've come to accept this about myself. I don't think it has anything to do with bipolar. It's just who I am; an odd puzzle piece that no one remembers putting in the box.

Even here I realize I don't really have any friends. I don't talk to anyone through PMs or anything. I just...I'm no good at it. Never have been and never will be. And 99% of the time I'm fine with it because it's what I've always known. I just don't do human connection.

I get it...you are, ironically, not alone.

I have NEVER fit in. I don't know why but obviously there is something wrong with me

This came up during my group therapy session for social anxiety, I have always felt this way, I dont even feel like I fit in with other women my age. My interests arent the same, the clothes I wear arent similar and I go to concerts where I look like a chaperone, not a fan! Even as a military wife my stage in life didnt match up with the other spouses. I'm hoping the group therapy will help, and my therapist gave me some homework to do so we can talk about this issue in a couple of weeks. Looks we are forever a work in progress

Me, too. In high school, I strangely stopped talking to some people I had known since first grade. Didn't even say just "Hi" to them when I saw them. I was painfully aware of this and could not figure it out. Still can't. I was just suddenly extremely shy. I even wrote to Seventeen Magazine about it, how to stop being shy. But I was friends with others that I had known better since first grade or later. I made friends at lunchtime with a gal who had bad dyslexia. She ate alone, too. So odd. My mother told me when I was a kid that I was shy "because I had no kids to play with when I was little." That kind of makes sense, as I didn't, only one neighborhood boy that was much older than me, no others. Social anxiety disorder? Or was it bipolar hitting me when I was in my teens, which is the usual way it comes on us. Still feel the left out feeling sometimes, too. What the heck is this? Is this bipolar disorder or what? I want to understand this after all these years. I do have some good but far away friends, got rid of all the bad ones. I have friends on this website. I get along with and love my neighbors. Anyone have any answers for me?

Prairiecat, all of my good friends live about three hours away on either side of me. It sucks that I don't have anyone close buy to just listen, have a cup of coffee and just be a friend. It didn't bother me as much today, but it's always there, nagging me. Am I such a bad person?

I don't normally socialize. I feel socially awkward. Friend with one for 57 years. We live in different states we used to hang around mostly. But for 35+ of those years we have spent apart. She very rarely emails or texts me I try but usually no answer we have nothing in common but our very early years of friendship. I feel I can be in a group but stay my emotional distance. I feel I'm less than everyone else. Bipolar? Just the way it is!!! I would say yes. But one way I communicate is through writing and I can type or write fast and furious all kinds of ideas flood my head I've even written a novel of more than 10000 words. I'm in the process of getting it published. It's an historical romance. But that seems the only way I can truly convey my ideas and it feels safe.

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I have found this article very interesting. Hope it helps

How to Fit in and Make Friends | Teenagers

Thank you!

Wow I thought I was the only one who was antisocial. I don't watch sports. I don't have friends... Other than my cats and dog. If I'm not at work I'm a home body. I'm not good at making friends. I'm a very nice and friendly person but like many of you I don't fit in and feel like I don't relate to others.

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