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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: close to the beach in body, close to the mountains in soul..
Posts: 753
18 |
#1
Last week in one of my posts somebody gave me this word and I've been thinking about it for a while. When I read it I thought "she couldn't said it better"..
I was born in a particular family, when growing up, my mother was phisically and verbally abusive to the 4 of us. As a consecuence, my siblings and I have really poor or not self-steem at all. All of us got married, but 2 are divorced, one has the crappiest marriage, and me, well, Thank God, I took my time to find my hubby, and since I'm the baby, and I saw all of my sibling's marriages from start to finish (literally), I knew what I was looking for when choosing. I think we strugled daily becuase of our self steem, small things makes us feel smaller sometimes. Every time we get together (my sis and my bro), now is almost every weekend (and we have fun!) we remember so many things from our childhood that at times it becomes overwhelming. The "weird" part is that, even though we had it tough, we always find something funny to remember. We laugh so much when together, that our bond is stronger.. My bro last nite said, "if laughing is so therapeutic, we are healed"... But, actually my point is this. My mother, she has been hated and loved by all of us. We have gone trhu so many emotions, it's not even funny. Now, looking inside her life, at this point and time I feel my heart full of love for her. She is bipolar, like my bro and me. When older, she asked for our forgiveness. We gave her more than that. When we were older, and she felt more relax around her own children; she trust us enough to let us know about her own childhood. She didn't break the cycle; we did. She is "unique" in so many ways, that she created 4 "unique, very unique" individuals. And Since our children haven't feel the weight of a hand on their bodies; I look at them and I feel so much relief. They are beautiful children, full of life, growing fast, smart and ohh yes, by the way...they are unique, very, very unique in so many loving and fun way! |
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Elder
Member Since May 2001
Location: US
Posts: 6,684
23 |
#2
((((((( biplol )))))))))
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 11,014
18 45.8k hugs
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#3
Wow.
This is wonderful for you. Your family is growing so strong and you sound so sane this morning. thank you for sharing this bit of your life. ((((HUGS)))) bizi __________________ lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: close to the beach in body, close to the mountains in soul..
Posts: 753
18 |
#4
((((((((DE))))))))
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: close to the beach in body, close to the mountains in soul..
Posts: 753
18 |
#5
((((((bizi)))))) Yeah, the morning was clear, evening, not so, but, what can one do?!
Thank you so much! |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2006
Location: england
Posts: 153
18 |
#6
Biplol,you are such a wonderful person (((hugs))))
__________________ "These cuts i have.They need love,to help them heal" |
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: close to the beach in body, close to the mountains in soul..
Posts: 753
18 |
#7
{{{{{Wanting}}}}}
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Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 114
18 |
#8
((((Biplol))) What a wonderful story, thank you for sharing. Your story reminds me a little of my family. My mother was abusive and controlling and indeed was abused herself. I have 3 brothers, I am the only girl and my mother relied on me alot for emotional support - unfortunately the roles were reversed because of this.
I have been through a lot of therapy to try to come to terms with how she brought me and my brothers up. We also had a lot of laughter growing up but a lot of that was to release the pain we felt about hating our mother and the confusion this brought. I so longed for a sister too as my brothers and I dont get together very often. She could have shared the load with me like "sisters together united"! I am so glad that you have found a good place with your siblings and can feel positive and happy around them. Breaking the cycle with your own children too, I have done this with my own children as well but its been a bit of a struggle what with the bipolar and all. But I see my just teenage daughter blossoming and its wonderful! Yes we are and our children are unique! |
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: close to the beach in body, close to the mountains in soul..
Posts: 753
18 |
#9
((((babs)))))) I can be your sis if you want, i already have a lil' bro here (simon) so the family can keep growing.
I know exactly what and how you feel. ~tons of hugs for you darling~ |
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