So sick of feeling like this.. Just need to vent..

I just want to scream & cry!!!

Im sick of being sad & then happy for 10 min, then depressed & crying again. Then happy for an hour & sad again, then angry & depressed at the same time. That's how my day was yesterday. ..

My bf tried to take me out to have some fun last night & I just ended up being more miserable & then crabby towards him at the end of the night (b/c he isn't mindful about certain things sometimes). I tried to have a good time, but got even more depressed b/c the whole place was having fun & I just couldn't. ..

I was in a better mood today, but now I am back to being agitated. I hate thinking the way I do... my bf was still acting kinda funky towards me before I dropped him off & went to work. I txt him & apologized for being bi*chy last night & he txt back saying 'i love you :-* ' . I txt him a couple hours later telling him that I hoped he felt better & no response. I called him 2 hrs later & apparently he was napping. I got an attitude (I think partly b/c I kind of didn't believe him for some reason & I was venting to a friend about some things that bother me about him) & he txt back saying he was sick of my bullish*t 'yep' responses & saying 'rude'. Now im super crabby.

Grrrrrrrr!!!!

I hate the way my brain thinks. I hate having trust issues. I just fuc**ing hate this BP b.s.

And the thing is... I'm only a mild case, but it still screws with me.

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I just want to be happy & not feel sad or crabby & like I hate everything!

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I never want to do anything, partly because I barely have any time or money to do anything. That and I don't want to be around people. People pi*s me off a lot of the time.

I dont really have any friends & when I see friends together I get sad. I feel like I get kind of jealous of my bf when he hands out with his friends & then I feel wrong for that.

I get sad b/c I dont really have any family & what family I do have I dont get to see very often b/c I live almost 4 hrs away...

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I really, really relate to this. You're not alone.

Thank you. :-)

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I can also relate! I'm just grateful our states don't last too long!

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