[azpoet]

Hi everyone,
I thought I'd ask: do you have any ideas for a 'newbie' like me? Here's my situation: I was receiving excellent mental health services through the state (due to my lack of income), but because I am eligible for insurance at my new job, I no longer 'qualify' for state funded mental health services. This puts me in a 'bind' because I was due for a re-eval a couple months ago. My psych told me, "you have several symptoms of Bipolar disorder and you'd benefit greatly from medication". She then gave me a trial of a new Bipolar med. (This was in October.) From October until now, my life has 'careened out of control', literally. I haven't taken any meds at all, my moods oscillate from 'happy' to 'very irritable', sometimes I enjoy being around others and other times... well, I would prefer to be completely alone, my 'lack of foresight' has caused problems with my checkbook, paying bills, and keeping 'on top of things' as well as causing me 'issues' with people (interpersonal relationships)... and I have other 'issues' in my life which cause me extreme anxiety to the extent that I have avoided them and now must reap the consequences of my avoidant behavior! What can I do to help myself? Any ideas? I will have insurance in January, but this poses yet another problem: I was in the process of being 're-evaluated' and haven't been formally diagnosed recently with Bipolar disorder... though I was diagnosed in the past (1999). There may be a problem with my illness being 'covered' by insurance. I know I need the re-eval and the meds... my life is a huge mess!!! And, my interpersonal relationships are suffering tremendously!!! (I am also worried about how this will affect my relationships at work. I've had issues in the past and I don't want to repeat my mistakes!) Any suggestions? Ideas? Anything? Thanks for listening... this helps me tremendously.

[bizi]

good morning.
WEll it sounds as if this is not a prior condition...due to a lack of a diagnosis and you were given samples os no prescription fills from a pharmacy.
You could go into a new pdoc and ask for help...usually this is a very private visit, perhaps you could be seen on your lunch break or even leave early to see you doctor for an appointment.
When ever I try new meds I usually start them on a friday to see how my body reacts to the meds over the weekend.
Employers are not allowed to discriminate but I would not share this info unless you absoluted had to.
ARe you now willing to take medications to try to get your life back in order? you will benefit from a therapist to talk out your feelings and help you develope new coping skills. This is hard stuff to deal with...I am sorry. And you are heading in the right direction.
good luck to you.
I wish you well.
bizi

[azpoet]

Thanks for the insight, bizi. Your advice is good and I know it will help me. You're right about not telling my employer. I will refrain from saying anything at work, especially when the elevated moods occur and I feel 'invincible' (as though I can't say or do anything 'wrong'!!). January 1st is only a couple weeks away, and I will be able to make a doctor appointment. I'll see if I can get in a.s.a.p. after the 1st... the sooner the better. For the time being, I'm going to 'tie a knot and hang on'.
Thanks for listening, and for sharing your insight with me, bizi. I really appreciate it. Have a good day.

[bizi]

I wanted to suggest...
Benadryl can have a sedating effect on most people...the exact opposite in some though...
TAkeing 25mg may help to calm you while you are waiting to be seen.
Just a suggestion.
You are facing your responsibilities and that is what life is all about...admiting that something is wrong is half the battle!
REmember this is a chemical imbalance...we did not ask for this nor deserve this.
bizi