[tigersassy]

My gpdr asked me friday if I was hallucinating or delusional. I don't know how I'd know that. I just answered her no. How do you truly know if you are or not? Like I'm completely in touch with nature where I have conversations with the trees and stuff. Then theres the thinking I'm the best at everything and how dare someone criticize me. Specifically work related. And my thoughts can control aspects of the weather. Or I'm the reason for everyones pain. I could have saved someone who died just by talking to them. How do you know?

Tig

[Victoria'smom]

I don't know. That's what I asked intake but they really couldn't explain it.

[Lobster Hands]

I'm not really sure how to answer this.

I realized after my episode that I was way wrong. I believed I was a mad scientist (haha I know...hilarious!). Then I believed I was like a debating genius where I was driving 80 on city streets then I got picked up by a cop...I believed since I was a super genius, I could talk my way out of it with the cop.

I'm not sure...I realized afterwards that I was completely off. If I notice myself starting to get super confident like that again I just have to try and shut it down.

Hmm I don't remember your question anymore...I hope I answered it, good luck Tig!

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk

[Victoria'smom]

I just shrugged it off as that's me. Everyone else shrugged off off as that's L. So I depend on my t to know. When I did intake I told him the caziest thing i have ever thought and it was a delusion.

[r010159]

When I worked, I met the owner's son. He actually listened to me, unlike my boss. I chattered like one of those wind-up false teeth. I went to my tdoc appointment all excited and giddy, telling her that my new friend and I (unbeknownst to him) were going to form a company that would help as experts other companies with their problems, do things that others could not do, blow their minds. I was serious at the time I said this. Now where the h*ll did that come from? LOL

tucson

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I just shrugged it off as that's me. Everyone else shrugged off off as that's L. So I depend on my t to know. When I did intake I told him the caziest thing i have ever thought and it was a delusion.

How so you know when to talk to your t? Like what makes you bring up a certain thought pattern for discussion? I am still building trust with my t even though I've been seeing her for almost a year. I don't tell her everything yet. My gpdr gets almost everything. Sometimes I just don't know how to answer her questions like this one. Psychiatrist I'll have to wait until I meet him.

Tig

[Victoria'smom]

If I answer that "my moods messing with me, interesting or unique " means generally I have had delusions between session. I write to her daily so she can decide what's important. I'm honestly tell her everything in writing but don't give it to her until my session. A lot of times she asks me how my mood is and other general questions while skimming through my papers. At first I used this but I got conferral enough to free write. She'll bring things up from there or as I talk she'll stop me and ask if I realize that's a bizarre thought. I usually want to scream "Not until you asked " or there's been times that I start with "so we both know I'm ****ed up and ...." It may not be that you don't trust your t but the things we have had to keep secret from ourselves and society for risk of looking dangerous are hard to talk about. The worst part is a lot of times there aren't words to explain things.

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

It may not be that you don't trust your t but the things we have had to keep secret from ourselves and society for risk of looking dangerous are hard to talk about. The worst part is a lot of times there aren't words to explain things.

Yes that does fit a bit. I can't hide it though anymore. Its like my dam that has been keeping everything from bursting forth is cracking and the everything is going to come rushing out and drown me. Shouldn't the seroquel have helped a little with this crap? Even if it wasn't right shouldn't it have done something? I want to keep going on this up swing, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I am delusional. I can't make them stop though. If that is even what these thoughts are. I feel so lost and confused. My gp dr made bipolar official on friday. I'm not happy about it. It fits but I don't want anything to be wrong with me.

Tig

[Victoria'smom]

Shouldn't the seroquel have helped a little with this crap?

it all depends on the person how medications work/don't work.

Even if it wasn't right shouldn't it have done something?

not always


Can i ask why exactly you are worried about being delusional? are they scary delusions ? Do you think you can keep yourself safe? Can you take this post to your t?

[tigersassy]

Can i ask why exactly you are worried about being delusional? are they scary delusions ? Do you think you can keep yourself safe? Can you take this post to your

I'm worried about how my thoughts progress. They can be scary. Like the entire thinking my wifes cousin who died in a car crash is my fault. I should have talked to him and he wouldn't have died. I saw him the three days prior to his death and didn't say to him. Then at work I've been fighting myself and saying something to new boss. I do everything for that place and they don't honor me. I get no recognition at work. They need to respect me. I'm afraid that if I say something I'll get fired. So I have to bite my tongue. I'm lacking a filter most of the time so I'm afraid my thoughts are going to come blurting out.

Tig