[bumble2u]

I'm wondering what to divulge. I am worried that if I do there will be terrible consequences. Some of my brain disgusts me. If you had really horrible thoughts would you tell your psych? Or is it better just to let it go, hoping that whatever it was won't actually occur?

[Lobster Hands]

I have this same problem. I have definitely held things back that I probably should have told.

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[vjdragonfly]

I have had some really bad thoughts, but they were only passing thoughts. I would talk to my pdoc if I thought that anything bad would actually happen as a result of these thoughts. I believe being as open as I can with my pdoc so that I can get optimal treatment.

[monkeybrains21]

I have very extreme thoughts all the time. My T only knows if the less extreme. She always says it's a good thing she knows me so well or there'd be issues. And all I tell myself is u think u know me but u haven't a clue.

[Victoria'smom]

I write t everything even my most extreme. our deal is I'm completely honest and she keeps my file as vague as possible, she never mentions php or IP. This came about after writing all the horrible things I've thought and felt as a kid. Including my hulusinations, homicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts and plans, delutions, and every Scarry and possibly traumatic thing. She eventually convinced me to get a prn.

[Happy Camper]

Yes; I don't trust anyone and my past experiences are good reasons not to.

[swheaton]

I'm honest about them, but only with my therapist.

[Suddz]

I would be locked up in a rubber room for the things I've done much less thought... I'm thinking about going to a T.... I'm just reluctant as usual.

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[Victoria'smom]

I would be locked up in a rubber room for the things I've done much less thought... that's what I thought but even though I can scare my therapist quite often. The things I think are made for TV crime shows. The ones with warnings even though they are only on at 3 am. She really helps me with ideas on how to make everyone safe so I don't end up in jail or hospitalized.

[Bipolarchic14]

I definitely don't tell them everything...I would not say things you don't want on record.

[Axiom]

I told my pdoc that I get involuntary images and scenes in my head of sexual actions with or murder on members of my family or authorities and other people that I'm talking to at that moment when I'm stressed, but I wouldn't tell if I had decided on suicide or homicide for some reason. But I have also told my current hospital psychologist that I have thoughts of beating up or stabbing strangers that annoy me when I'm very very irritable. Only strangers though. IDK if those thoughts are as bad as yours.

[TheHuffnpuff]

I'm 46 now and I have had bizarre thoughts pop into and out of my head all my life. I've had suicidal thoughts, I'm stilll here, I've had homocidal thoughts, I've never harmed anyone. Its not what you think that matters its what you do. I fear if I tell anyone my thoughts they would think there is something seriously wrong with me and I'd end up with more meds. I read a good book (The Happiness Trap, by Russ Harris) that pointed out quite rightly that we can't control our thoughts, they come and go, but we can control our actions. I think its normal to have fleeting thoughts (about anything and everything), but if the same thought sticks in your mind and causes you to want to act on it and you feel urges, especially to harm yourself or others, its time to talk to someone about it.

[Kristiemarie]

I hold my thoughts back with pretty much everyone. I don't trust anyone enough to let them completely in.

Either I'm embarrassed or I'm afraid they will think I'm crazy.

[shortandcute]

I was brutally honest on a mental health screening, and was accused of "over-stating" and exaggerating my symptoms. In fact, that was one of the reasons why the judge gave me an unfavorable decision: because I appeared to be overstating my symptoms, therefore my testimony didn't "carry any weight." >

[bumble2u]

I guess I just don't know why I would have such horrible thoughts, I am not scared when they are of harming myself. I worry because the line between me thinking something and doing something are very minimal. It feels like one string between me and the outer world may be corrupted and hell on earth takes over. I never harmed anyone i my life. I guess there is no pretext to think that I would but realise I have yet again done some "crazy" **** e and I don't really trust myself.

[monkeybrains21]

I've been in violent situations throughout my life. I always dream about them and even fantasize, but I have never and will never throw the first punch. I have come close due to someone a lot bigger than me being in my bubble. They threatened me and got in my face. I came very close to letting my leash snap, but I had friends around that put me in a headlock and held on for dear life.

In those situations, once a threat is made I see nothing but the threat and want the threat to disappear.

[1776]

Originally Posted by bumble2u

I'm wondering what to divulge. I am worried that if I do there will be terrible consequences. Some of my brain disgusts me. If you had really horrible thoughts would you tell your psych? Or is it better just to let it go, hoping that whatever it was won't actually occur?

You aren't unusual. We all have parts of our brains that disgust and surprise us. Don't beat yourself up.

I don't tell my psychs everything. I could be detained for some of the thoughts I have, which I suspect is the case with other people as well.

Ultimately, only you can decide what to tell your team. Just remember it's okay to be human.

[icinggurl]

With my psychiatrist and therapist, yes, but that's about it. I've told 2 other friends and very few family members. I think some of my fam knows that I struggle with something, but they don't know details. I've had so many bad experiences when I've told people my true diagnosis. Now I hold everyone at arm's length which kind of sucks. Not really an authentic way to live and I never truly connect to anyone. How do you others deal with that kind of thing - the revealing then being stigmatized?
I love that I have you guys to talk too! I don't have to hide here

[TheHuffnpuff]

I don't feel a need to tell everyone I'm bipolar. I have a job, I have a family, I go to work and do everything normal people do. I'm normal.

[gayleggg]

I don't tell my pdoc or my therapist all things. They would want me to go to treatment and right now I don't have the energy or the money. My pdoc suspects because I told him I have my gravestone in place and have preplanned my funeral. He knows but as long as I deny any self harm plans he can't do anything about it.

[littlemiss44]

I can't express my self harm ideas to my t. My pdoc knows more about it. Idk I've been feeling like I need to be hospitalized for this dam depression. I'm locked in a cage abd I can't find the key. My pdoc just keeps medicating me more and more. I'm on 5 diff meds as it is so there is no where else to go. No where else to run. My.pdic don't prescribe a diff anti depressant for fear I'll go all hypo manic. Hell just last month I spent 600 dollars at the casino without a second thought so that was hypo manic in itself. One of my meds keeps me so numb that I don't have plans to kill myself. I don't want to die but I'm sick and tired of this depression. Someone please help. I want out. I raise the white flag.

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[Hbomb0903]

You have the ability to tell your doctor you don't want to take so many meds. I have found that a good mood stabilizer and and anti-depressant, for a time, has helped me before. I am also add and I wonder how much overlap there is between the two diagnoses.

If you feel overmedicated, you probably are. I encourage you to ask the doctor why you are taking all the meds and try to get it less. I just don't understand why some docs feel adding more and more will help??

[littlemiss44]

Yr right. I should talk to him about it. But everytime I try to ween.off of one my symptoms get worse. Maybe I should get off my anti depressant. It tends to.put me in hypo manic state anyways. I'm.just so scared. It's such a hard place to be. I'm.gonna quit taking my latuda. That's the newest one that I'm on. It just numbs me out. I.hate that feeling too.

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