[angelicgoldfish05]

So I started writing this blog online and I don't even think any of my friends actually read it, but I'm thinking about writing a post about my personal experience with mental illness. I'm not totally 100% sure I agree with the diagnosis of bipolar but I know I struggle with something, but doesn't everyone? Honestly, I wonder if this way I feel often is not normal, cause to me, it just as likely seems that everyone feels similar things, but keeps it all hidden away cause no one is talking about it (except for here of course). It's not entirely safe to talk about and tell others is it?

What do you guys think? Should I come out in public, in a place that future employers, partners (maybe even a potential future spouse someday if God would be so good to me and wills it so), and current friends, relatives (the ones who don't already know about my history of mental illness), coworkers, future grad school admissions directors and professors, school mates, ex-lovers and anyone and everyone could potentially see? Should I do it? It would be a big step for me and a scary one. Today is my b-day though, and since I'm not getting any younger and will one day die sooner or later, maybe it would feel good to just get it out in the open and come clean about it. Would be an honest and authentic thing to do right?

I'm asking if anyone has experience with this, or ideas about why it might not be a good thing to do. As someone who makes some pretty impulsive decisions, I guess I just want to get some feedback first about what could possibly go badly, and what reasons I'm not thinking of why I wouldn't want to do this. Thanks for any replies!

[r010159]

IMHO coming out about your BP is unwise. There is still a significant stigma attached to it. And I find this works in insidious ways in relationship with those who know. I would only share with very close friends. I would not share it with any employer unless the time comes where you have no choice, in hope of keeping your job.

Here is my personal experience. I told my mother and father. They have been silent about it since then, except one time where my mother told me "you must be off your medications". She did not say this in a helpful way. I also shared this with one close friend. He proved to be reliable and there for me. I am fortunate. I shared the depression part with one employer, but nobody else at work. Fortunately they were understanding. I had an excellent relationship with my employer which helped, but I do not think they would of been as good to me if I told them I was Bipolar. I was in a job where I had to be all too dependable under allot of pressure. And I wish I had not told my other friends. That was a mistake.

I hope this helps.

[wildflowerchild25]

My family knows because I was hospitalized three times this year and I don't suppose I can hide that. But we simply never, ever speak of it. That way I don't have to hear anything judgmental, especially from my mother in law, though she would not say it to my face at least.

I don't have many friends, really. Those I have are mostly family, so they know. They are supportive, especially since the two of them struggle with their own MH issues.

I would never, ever tell my employer. They know something's up because two of my hospitalizations took place during the school year but I have not disclosed bipolar. I have mentioned anxiety and depression because I don't feel those are stigmatized as much. I win ever tell them. Over the summer I worked at a summer camp. I've worked there for six years and the owner knows me very well. I had to resign last summer due to severe mixed episode. I decided since I had known him so long I could disclose because he knew me very well and knew that I had been stable for a long time. Well, he said he supported me and that I was part if the camp family and that when I felt ready to return I would be welcomed back. Yet when I asked to return later in the summer he simply never returned my email. Then I found out through deduction that I had been fired. He didn't even tell me - he just left me to figure it out on my own when he had the nerve to invite me to the camp alumni page on Facebook.

So yeah. I wouldn't tell an employer. But if you keep your blog anonymous where only people who know you know it's yours you should be able to evade employers for awhile.

[tigersassy]

I created a blog using my alias. That way if someone wants to read it they can't connect it to me and its all about my mental health. Most of the time I use it as a diary to hold thoughts. Thats only when I can get on though. Maybe you could do something similar that way you are "coming out of the closet" but in a safe way.

Tig

[jesusplay]

keep it to yourself.

This isn't a sexual orientation it's an illness.

[littlemiss44]

I.wouldn't disclose it to anyone unless you trust them completely. I.had to tell my employer because my.pdoc wrote a note to them letting them know I can only work three days a week due to my mental illness. I took my two bosses aside and simply told them I suffer from bp. Anxiety and depression and then I gave them the note. They actually were impressed because they knew it never interfered with my.job. they were actually surprised. I felt empowered and liberated. I've told a few co-workers whom I trust and they were very understanding. In the past I've lost friendships because of my.illness. I.just knew it was because of that as they slowly pulled away from me and eventually stopped talking to me all together. That hurt and to be honest it still hurts. People just don't understand mi. They are afraid of it..they assume it makes us unstable. Which of course it can but it doesn't define who we are at all. I don't say I AM mentally ill...rather I sat I HAVE a mental illness. See the difference? I am Samantha.period. I.have an.illness that is treatable. Of course it's hard to treat but fir the most part it is. So to make this long story short I wouldn't be so open about it. My.own parents don't talk about it. They never ask.how I am doing and if they do I know they only want Mr to be fake and say everything is ,"fine". It's sad and hurtful. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell anyone. I would just be selective in who you do tell. I find that people think it means I'm weak and can't handle much which is not true. I know myself I can't handle alot of stress but they don't need to know that. I wish you luck.

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[spydermonkey]

i disclose carefully and only to chosen people. be prepared for the usual "i dont think youre bipolar" or "we're all a little bipolar" invalidating responses from some people, and hopefully support from others. it can really go either way. it can be empowering for some and a trainwreck for others to come out bipolar!

[hamstay]

I get the (sometime) need to withhold disclosure.
But I'm also hearing the freedom/liberation side! I'm a supporter of a BP sufferer, and I wish he would be a whole lot more 'open' about it!
I do like the idea that of you want to 'blog', go with the alias. Simply because 'out there' is 'out there for all'.
I also agree with the 'trusted', and on that, would it not be better to find out who your 'real/trusted' friends are? The ones who WILL support you.
Best to you

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[TheatreKid]

I have had mixed experiences. When I was diagnosed, I was hospitalized for 3 months, and friends came to visit me so they knew. I told my parents, who weren't surprised. I started university at age 25 and immediately fell into a 3 month psychotic episode, can't remember exactly who I talked to but several admin people at school then knew. I never had a problem.

I blogged about it off and on, but never made an effort to hide my identity. And last year, I acted in a play that was performed for all incoming first year students during frosh week. Each actor had to write their own monologue about what being a student was like for them. I decided to tell the story of my experience with bipolar while being a student, from diagnosis to the breakdown when I dropped out, to making it back to full time student status.

The reaction from the first year students was phenomenal. I got feedback that other people felt at home in the school after hearing my story. I got feedback that people realized it was time to seek help after hearing my story. I reached people, and I helped people. How can I stay quiet?

That said, in job interviews and college application interviews I don't disclose my bipolar disorder. It's hard, because a big part of who I am is advocating for mental health rights, and when the employer wants to know who I am I need to think of other things.

I don't believe that anyone should feel pressured to keep silent. If you really want an end to the stigma, you have to talk about it. I've had friends say to me that they really appreciate how open I am about it, because they understand it better.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

I created a blog using my alias. That way if someone wants to read it they can't connect it to me and its all about my mental health. Most of the time I use it as a diary to hold thoughts. Thats only when I can get on though. Maybe you could do something similar that way you are "coming out of the closet" but in a safe way.

Tig

That would be the way to go. You would get to tell your story, and yet, you will be preserving your private information and not giving it to potential employers, etc.

And, happy birthday, angelic fish!

[angelicgoldfish05]

Thanks for all the shared ideas and wisdom. I think I'm going to try a blog under an alias for now. It is just one of those things that once it is out you can't take it back. Glad I have the PC community for support and at least I can be out about it here

[outlaw sammy]

Hi Angelicgoldfish!

I love your "name" by the way. As to your question, you should "come out" only on a case by case basis depending on circumstances. No matter what people say (cause they lie), if you disclose that you have bipolar to others then your credibility suffers and they expect you to make poor decisions, say things you don't really believe, and hop lawn sprinklers at night under a full moon. Be very careful.

[SillyKitty]

My whole workplace knows. I had to go to a partial hospitalization program for 8 weeks. You leave work 8 weeks on medical reasons, people wonder. It became easier to just tell the truth than try and ignore the questions. Everyone has been great about it. I do get a lot of 'but you're so happy all the time! I can't imagine you angry or depressed!' They don't understand how hard it is to appear that way, so be prepared for that. Be prepared to have some people watch you slyly like you're going to flip out any second. Basically, be prepared for a lot of negative, but some positive, too. I'm of the opinion that it won't be understood as long as it's something 'in the closet.' But it is really personal and ultimately up to you.

[Standup2me]

No, no, no. Jesusplay was right on. This is an illness. One that people just don't understand. I told my best friend, and she no longer speaks to me because she "can't deal with a head-case". That hurt

[TheatreKid]

I've had a couple of friends tell me they can't deal with it. It hurts, but in the end, I seem to have an inability to hide that part of me. If it was a physical illness I wouldn't be ashamed to talk about it, and I refuse to be ashamed of my mental illness. Advocacy is important. I understand not everyone can do it, but I will always speak up about my experiences so that others can understand.

[littlemiss44]

I like what you had to say theater kid. It's important to stand up for ourselves. It's nothing to be ashamed of yr right on. I too have lost friends along the way and it stings. Sometimes I can't think too much about it or it makes me sad. I.just keep plugging along believing in myself. We are good people worth knowing! I keep the faith and prayer always helps me when I feel down about it.

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I havent read the thread past your post but all I can think is NOOOOOOOOOOOO do not do it! Keep the diagnosis between trusted individuals. Especially if you're unsure you actually have bipolar, cos once you come out of the closet with that, its not a label you can easily shake off.

Going back to read the rest of the thread now...