[manicdepressive07]

*Quick note I also have borderline personality disorder so Idk if I was having bipolar or BPD symptoms*

Question for those of you who have been to the hospital because of a Bipolar "episode" or serve symptoms... what happens when you get there? Idk if it's because of a recent med change or what, but in the last 2 weeks I've had 2 SEVERE "episodes" involving complete and utter emotional **** storms, (for lack of better words lol). I was crying uncontrollably for 5 hours straight last week, it was terrible, I couldn't stop I was hurting so badly and I told my bf I wanted to go to the hospital because I said "I just want them to take the pain away". Does that make sense? Can anyone relate? Luckily my klonopin kicked in and I finally calmed down and went to sleep. I also called the suicide prevention hotline because I was having intrusive "thoughts" and the guy on the phone was SUPER nice and was also a huge factor in me calming down. I'm just curious though, what happens if you actually go to the hospital? What to do they do? And how do you know if you should actually go, or just let your emotions ride and wait for it to pass? Thanks for you opinions!

[Curiosity77]

When i went to hospital i waited a while, then saw the psych RN who did the first assessment. Then i had to wait a long time, and they told me i couldn't leave, which wasn't true because i wasn't certified yet. Then i saw the ER doctor, who certified me and then they gave me a sedative, and i went a slept for a while in a seclusion room in ER, but the door was unlocked. Then i saw the ER psychiatrist, who certified me a second time, so they transferred me to the inpatient psych unit. On the unit they kept me very medicated, so i don't remember a lot of it. Basically, in the mornings i saw the psychiatrist every day, and the rest of the day i just hung around the unit with the other patients. I had good conversations with the other patients, and i stayed in touch with 2 of them. At night they would give me really strong sleeping meds (15 mg zopiclone) because i hadn't been sleeping much for weeks. At the beginning, i had to wear hospital PJs and i couldn't leave the unit. After a few days i got my clothes back, and then i started to get passes. Accompanied passes at first, and then unaccompanied, starting with 15 min passes at first and working up to several hours. They took my phone and wallet away, but i was allowed to have them on passes. There wasn't much to do on the unit. There was a treadmill, colouring books, puzzles, and a tv that showed the same movies over and over. It was basically a break from my life, where they took care of me, so the meds would have a chance to work. It was a difficult experience, but i needed that level of intervention for my own safety, and because i just wasn't able to manage on my own. Hospital was traumatic for me, but it also helped. I was there 3 weeks. I've only been hospitalized once, but that was my experience

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[manicdepressive07]

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

When i went to hospital i waited a while, then saw the psych RN who did the first assessment. Then i had to wait a long time, and they told me i couldn't leave, which wasn't true because i wasn't certified yet. Then i saw the ER doctor, who certified me and then they gave me a sedative, and i went a slept for a while in a seclusion room in ER, but the door was unlocked. Then i saw the ER psychiatrist, who certified me a second time, so they transferred me to the inpatient psych unit. On the unit they kept me very medicated, so i don't remember a lot of it. Basically, in the mornings i saw the psychiatrist every day, and the rest of the day i just hung around the unit with the other patients. I had good conversations with the other patients, and i stayed in touch with 2 of them. At night they would give me really strong sleeping meds (15 mg zopiclone) because i hadn't been sleeping much for weeks. At the beginning, i had to wear hospital PJs and i couldn't leave the unit. After a few days i got my clothes back, and then i started to get passes. Accompanied passes at first, and then unaccompanied, starting with 15 min passes at first and working up to several hours. They took my phone and wallet away, but i was allowed to have them on passes. There wasn't much to do on the unit. There was a treadmill, colouring books, puzzles, and a tv that showed the same movies over and over. It was basically a break from my life, where they took care of me, so the meds would have a chance to work. It was a difficult experience, but i needed that level of intervention for my own safety, and because i just wasn't able to manage on my own. Hospital was traumatic for me, but it also helped. I was there 3 weeks. I've only been hospitalized once, but that was my experience

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Thank you for sharing! If you don't mind me asking... what was your "reason" to go to the hospital? What symptoms or experiences were you having that you thought warranted needing medical attention?

[Curiosity77]

I was having a mixed episode, and intense thoughts of suicide. I wasn't sleep or eating, i was abusing substances, spending money, and do really risky things. My pdoc added new medication but it wasn't working. A couple of my friends got scared, so they brought me in. I think i might have killed myself if i didn't go in because i just wanted the agitation and depression to stop. It was awful.

Do you think you need to go in?

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[hikeandbike]

I spent 10 days in the psych hospital last summer. I was admitted because of severe depression and suicidal thoughts. I certainly understand the uncontrollable crying and the "Pain" you would do anything to get rid of...you can't even pinpoint a cause at times but it becomes paralyzing. First of all, the hospital is a place to keep you safe. I have those thoughts often, especially when I have the crying spells. I am so impulsive that I do not trust myself at times. So it was a safe place to go. While there the psychiatrist changed all of my meds around. That was no fun but something needed to change so that's where they start. Throughout the day, there are groups to attend with social workers and others. They can sometimes be helpful, especially when you can identify with others and help give each other support. Other than that there really is not much to do. But I wasn't there to 'do' anything. I needed to have my meds adjusted, allow some time to let those awful thoughts and feelings calm down, get a break from my life outside, and develop some resources and skills to help cope with my illness. If you are struggling to the point of suicidal thoughts or unable to function because of the depression may be an option. Best wishes!

[Unrigged64072835]

I normally don't go to the ER unless I prove that I will hurt myself or others. This means I have a plan and willing to act on it.

Once I do go to the ER, I get a blood draw and urinalysis. This shows that I'm not drunk, using illicit drugs, or am pregnant. (If you're a guy, of course the last does not apply.) If I'm hypomanic or mixed I might get a sedative to calm down. Then I give a list of all my meds, hospitalizations, and conditions so the ER doc can give a diagnosis, and a crisis care worker determines that I need to be hospitalized. If the hospital has a psych ward I may get a bed there, otherwise I wait for the crisis care worker to arrange for a hospital and an ambulance to take me there. I turn in all my clothes and personal belongings and wear a hospital gown for my safety, and I'm watched by one person at all times.

At the psych ward I'm evaluated by the nurse on call and registered. I get another blood draw to see if I have any physical conditions that need to be addressed. However, I don't get any psych meds until I'm evaluated by the Pdoc. (Since I usually come in at night or early morning, this really sucks.)

Depending on the hospital I'll have either a nurse or mental health assistant check on me to see if I'm safe or want to talk about anything. There's usually groups on weekdays to discuss coping skills, have art therapy, or just play a game. Weekends aren't as busy, so I usually have my spouse bring in some activities to make the time pass. There will usually be one group a day to set goals for the day, and one at night to see if I met my goals.

I meet with the Pdoc once a day to discuss meds and make any changes as necessary to stabilize my state. The length of my stay depends upon how well the meds work and how well I participate in the groups. Basically the Pdoc wants to get me to where I'm stable and functioning, so going to groups is important even if I find them boring.

I wear hospital clothes but sometimes I bring in a bag of clothes and shoes to the ER if I'm sure I'm going. As long as it doesn't contain strings it's usually good. Some psych wards allow me to bring my own toiletries, others don't. The assistants will go through everything before I get them anyway. They will also lock away any jewelry and valuables I may have.

Most psych wards I've been to are crisis stabilization units, so they try to make the stay as short as possible. They have to keep me at least three days because of the ER admission, but I'm free to go after that as long as the Pdoc and staff deem that I'm stable. The longest I've been in was two weeks. I have yet to be transferred elsewhere for long-term treatment, but I've seen people who have.

Once I'm deemed stable to go, a social worker or nurse will work on a discharge plan. This will include follow up visits with my Pdoc, T, and medical doc. This also lists the meds the hospital gave me. We go over a safety plan in case this happens again. Then I'm free to leave.

Hope this helps.

[outlaw sammy]

Personally, I've loved all my visits to the private hospital psyche ward. Suddenly, my out-of-control world slows down to a manageable pace, and I know that when I leave the hospital, the outside world will be back to normal. I think the food is good, the mental health staff is fantastic, and federal law prevents the fascist Denver police from harassing me while I'm inside that sanctuary. Most importantly, I know that I wouldn't be able to do anything that will prove tragic later.

[Mandysue]

i was in the hospital 7 weeks because of a manic episode, I dont remember most of it..only bits and pieces but I think they evaluated me through the ER and then placed me in the behavorial health unit, dr would come talk to me everyday eventually I started remembering what was going on and started getting better, but I was crazy manic doing all kinds of stuff, the eye doctor called my mom to come pick me up , i went manic at the eye doctor and was talking his head off and they were closed and i was still there..it was weird I dont remember all the details...

I dont know where you are so it will be a different process to where I am. But just wanted to mention here, with a BPD diagnosis they'll get you out of the hospital pretty quick. BPD tend to turn into revolving door type patients, in and out once they start the process, so they generally do not like to admit BPD patients. (In my specific area, its different everywhere). I know personally quite a few BPD girls that love the hospital and go whenever they can, taking up valuable resources and time for each of their "crisis's " that could be better managed at home or with a therapist. Many of these girls have recovered after DBT treatment.

When I go to hospital it depends on how I go about it. Sometimes I am admitted after a session with the pdoc, in those cases I get to go to a private hospital right away. Other times its a trip to the ER where they assess me to either go on forms in a locked ward (5 days was my longest section) or I get transferred to a private hospital if I am safe enough. They wont keep me in an open ward often as I have private cover and they have limited beds. I MUCH prefer to be in a private hospital so that is fine by me.

I do daily groups, get meds changed and daily mood analysis. These admissions tend to be longer (3 days to 3months) and I tend to discharge myself rather than wait for the pdoc's ok cos they take too long.

[manicdepressive07]

Wow! thanks for all your personal stories...

And to answer your question Curiosity... no I don't think I need to go. At least not right now haha. But when I'm in these intense emotional states it's like the worst feeling in the world and I just want to go to the hospital because I think "they'll take the pain away". But I don't want them to keep me for 3 days, that would be no good. I work and go to school AND to be quite honest, I'm completely co-dependent on my very loving, understanding boyfriend. I don't think I could be away from him for 3 days in such an already fragile state. ALSO, these "emotional freak outs" only tend to last a few hours at most. They're incredibly painful to endure, but the longest episode I've ever had was probably about 6 hours. After that I was fine, (usually because I took klonopin and it kicked in). So if I can manage without the hospital I'd rather do that... but I was just curious what happens to you when you go. Thanks again!

[icinggurl]

Before I start, I'm up way too late and haven't had time to read the previous posts. The last time I went to the hospital, my parents and husband took me. They removed me from the waiting room and gave me a butt full of Haldol cuz I was psychotic and I guess making a lot of noise and trying to leave (I have very few memories of this). I'd been psychotic for 2 weeks solid and that shot was SO relieving I can barely describe it. So a nurse did the intake, then I was wheeled to the actual floor I'd be on. I couldn't walk due to the Haldol. So they did another intake and I signed a bunch of forms. I had to give them anything valuable, my shoestrings and belt. That part made me feel like a prison inmate, but I understand the need for it. I then saw a nurse who sort of looked me over and took pics to document any injuries I had. I had my underwear on. They would have group 4 times a day, but there was a lot of down time which wasn't the greatest. I was super freaked about being "locked up" and unable to be with my family and my cat. The visiting hours seemed too short and we all had to share a community phone and only at designated times. I never had trouble getting time on it. 5 days later I was discharged. The other 'inmates' (lol) were nice and I wished I would have got to know them better. I met the best doctor I've ever had and she's saved me life. The staff was extremely patient and kind. The whole floor was on suicide watch so we were checked every 15 minutes. Although being in there was scary to me, I am still eternally grateful for it. I remember the first morning I woke up after the Haldol and even though I was a mess and scared, I distinctly remember thinking, thank god that somebody else will have take care of me now, cuz my life just isn't working anymore.
Sadly, not all hospital stays result in good experiences. There are some pretty crappy ones too.

[manicmonday!]

I'm late in a reply, but since I have been hospitalized 5 times in 4 years I thought I'd share my experiences.

#1 I was scared out of my mind!!!! Here I was super depressed, talking about suicide and someone took it seriously, next thing I know I'm at a PD....then I'm at the psych hospital. An RN did my intake, a social worker did sort of a task thing to see what counseling groups I should go to, and after that I went through the motions. I showed up, did what I was supposed to, and got out. I was so scared and just wanted to get out...I didn't take advantage of anything to get real help!

#2 I went in for the same thing...someone cared and turned me in. I didn't really do the groups this go around because that's not what works for me, but this is when I was slowly learning how to talk about my issues that I always had kept inside.

#3 I went in after a suicide attempt. I was super angry and just didn't care, thus, again, I did not get the help because I didn't want it. Going through the motions.

#4 I told a counselor I was suicidal and BAM I'm back in the hospital, but this time I wanted it. I was in the same hospital the 3x before, and I felt like they didn't take me seriously. I wanted help, but they didn't want to help me. BUT I came to know the technician there (one that takes BP, temp, keeps an eye on what you eat, etc) and was able to talk to her. It's truly all about finding someone you trust and can get help any way possible.

#5 I went to a different hospital after going to the ER myself for suicidal ideation. What a world of difference. The social worker helped me....got me back into a stable mode. I haven't been back since then!

So, in essence, truly go if you need it and want it. THAT is when you will get the most help because you'll ask questions and take in what they say!! Sorry such a late reply.

[icinggurl]

I can relate to that for sure! It is profoundly scary, but also necessary. Being sick is scary too. One thing I heard a patient say, and one thing I know I've done before (3 inpatient and 3 outpatient, plus ECT) was that we can pretend to be the things we know they want to see and hear just so we get out of the hospital faster. In hindsight I think that was not smart to pretend i was fine to get out, but in the moment I was so terrified of everything that of course I made bad decisions. About 3 days after discharge, I was hallucinating and my psychiatrist asked me, What happened? You were doing so good. Thank goodness this shrink is wonderful. She called me personally and I saw her the next day, etc. Otherwise, I'd have gone back in the week after I got out.

[gris212]

I don't want to end up in a hospital. I hate them and except for babies being born there associate them with illness, pain, and death for some reason. I have only been hospitalized once and it was during my 1st manic episode. I was paranoid, hallucinating, and my family didn't know what to do with me. I was 19 years old and worse on vacation visiting family in California. My sister was down there with me and my mom had to fly in too. They kept me in the hospital for a week and luckily they released me in time to make my flight home.

My mom is BP and we've had to hospitalize her involuntarily by calling the police and getting her psychiatrist on the phone. Personally I try to avoid the hospital and when it comes to my mom it's only when its our last resort. Especially more because hospital stays aren't cheap.

One thing I have learned over the years is to better recognize my moods and symptoms, if I feel myself getting depressed or manic, I'm making sure to tell someone. I'm trying to stay active, exercise, getting out and seeing my therapist. I also journal and when it's really bad, I try to sleep it off. For me a good night of sleep does wonders plus a warm shower is so soothing too!

[icinggurl]

Originally Posted by gris212

I don't want to end up in a hospital. I hate them and except for babies being born there associate them with illness, pain, and death for some reason. I have only been hospitalized once and it was during my 1st manic episode. I was paranoid, hallucinating, and my family didn't know what to do with me. I was 19 years old and worse on vacation visiting family in California. My sister was down there with me and my mom had to fly in too. They kept me in the hospital for a week and luckily they released me in time to make my flight home.

My mom is BP and we've had to hospitalize her involuntarily by calling the police and getting her psychiatrist on the phone. Personally I try to avoid the hospital and when it comes to my mom it's only when its our last resort. Especially more because hospital stays aren't cheap.

One thing I have learned over the years is to better recognize my moods and symptoms, if I feel myself getting depressed or manic, I'm making sure to tell someone. I'm trying to stay active, exercise, getting out and seeing my therapist. I also journal and when it's really bad, I try to sleep it off. For me a good night of sleep does wonders plus a warm shower is so soothing too!

I understand I should have said, it was necessary for me. I was dangerous and didn't want help so that's why it was necessary for me to be inpatient. It sounds like I was a probably like your mom and I'm sorry you went through that! I feel like if that's what it took for my fam to get me the help that I desparately needed, then it's cool with me, but I definitely don't want to go back and understand that you don't want to either. You were so young at 19 and I would have been even more terrified at your age!
It's ironic about you being on vaca when it happened because I had just got home from vaca when I went full blown psycho in what felt like overnight. I think any change can trigger mood swings, at least for me. It doesn't have to be a bad change either. I got married and promptly lost my mind

It sounds like you're doing all the right things to stay out of the hospital. Hang in there!

[gris212]

Originally Posted by icinggurl

I understand I should have said, it was necessary for me. I was dangerous and didn't want help so that's why it was necessary for me to be inpatient. It sounds like I was a probably like your mom and I'm sorry you went through that! I feel like if that's what it took for my fam to get me the help that I desparately needed, then it's cool with me, but I definitely don't want to go back and understand that you don't want to either. You were so young at 19 and I would have been even more terrified at your age!
It's ironic about you being on vaca when it happened because I had just got home from vaca when I went full blown psycho in what felt like overnight. I think any change can trigger mood swings, at least for me. It doesn't have to be a bad change either. I got married and promptly lost my mind

It sounds like you're doing all the right things to stay out of the hospital. Hang in there!

When was on vacation at 19 there were already signs before I left but no one knew at that point that I was BP so I agree the traveling/change didn't help things.

I love to travel still, I'm actually heading to Miami tomorrow to visit an aunt and seeking warm weather. I've traveled quite a bit and I hadn't thought about it until now, but you're right the change in environment can do something to our mood. I've never been fully manic on trip except for that 1 time, but I do feel I get semi-manic because I'm in such great spirits on being away, seeing new things, and so happy. As long as it's under control I don't mind it.

Stay well!

[keywestuser]

I have been once. I was in a horrible depressive state and called my mom in Florida and told her I was ready to go into the garage and turn on the car. She immediately called my brothers and they picked me up and took me to the hospital. It was great. And I made a pair of moccasins. I just felt so safe there, like I didn't have to deal with the world. I read William Styron's book and he said the same thing. I think he was in longer than I was. I was only in about 3 days.

[icinggurl]

I wish my hospital had done arts and crafts. There was way too much free time in my opinion. I was in an acute care facility so maybe they wanted us to have down time to relax and recover. When I was doing my internship at a big state hospital (they eventually asked me to leave - no surprise there! Lol) they had a lot of cool activities and they were the most severely ill group I'd ever encountered.

[Sad&Bipolar]

[quote=manicdepressive07;3640076]*Quick note I also have borderline personality disorder so Idk if I was having bipolar or BPD symptoms*

Question for those of you who have been to the hospital because of a Bipolar "episode" or serve symptoms... what happens when you get there?

When you arrive at the hospital, you are evaluated in the emergency room. They then determine if you need to be hospitalized. If you are admitted, you will go to a behavioral health unit where there will be some sort of structured program. There is usually group therapy, informational groups, occupational therapy (art, interactive games, community building activities), and perhaps an exercise group. The specific program is different for every hospital. You see a psychiatrist once each day who tracks your progress and decides on the date of your discharge. You are also assigned to a social worker who makes sure you have the right place to go to upon discharge, and that you have follow-up care by an outside psychiatrist and therapist. They help help you find community resources as well. If your condition warrants it, and if you have insurance, you may be referred to the hospital's outpatient Partial Program for additional group therapy. Being in the hospital when you are in crisis can be very helpful, and you have enough free time to get to know other patients. Patients often help each other. Going to the hospital seems to carry a stigma imposed by our general society, but in reality, can be most helpful in a time of crisis. I have been hospitalized a number of times - it is not scary - just the opposite.

Originally Posted by manicdepressive07

how do you know if you should actually go, or just let your emotions ride and wait for it to pass?

Posted this on another thread yesterday. Copying and pasting:
_______

I ask to be hospitalized if:
* I have been unable to sleep in 20+ hours and am still not feeling tired (I realize that some college students pull all-nighters, but this is not the case for me, because I understand the importance of sleep for managing my disorder).
* Inexplicable, erratic, unstoppable crying spells that have lasted ~24 hours
* Psychosomatic symptoms such as vomiting, tremors, nausea, sweating spells, dizziness, disorientation, blurred vision, possible psychosis, etc.

I keep a list of "red flags" in my BP management notebook. My closest family and friends are also aware of my warning signs. Before asking to be hospitalized, I'll usually call a family member and also talk to my psychiatrist.

My support network is sufficiently close-knit that someone will notice when I'm in poor shape (even if I don't, e.g. during hypomania), which provides me with a safety net.

The important thing, I suppose, is to create some kind of safety net so that you can push (or be pushed) to get help. BP needs to be strictly managed, and I don't like taking chances.

[r010159]

So, in essence, truly go if you need it and want it. THAT is when you will get the most help because you'll ask questions and take in what they say!! Sorry such a late reply.

Wise advice!