[Trackgirl]

Hi, I'm new and I had a couple of questions. I'm 18 and about four months ago I was diagnosed with BP. I experience phases of severe depression and then times where I feel just ok. Other times I feel like i'm on top of the world. What is my goal to taking the medication? Because If the goal is for me to feel flat- mood wise and just ok. Whats the point? I want to feel normal.
When I get into these depressive episodes, focusing on my school work feels impossible. I've gone from getting A's on my college writing papers to failing. I feel like my life is falling apart. How do I learn to manage school?

Thanks,
Track girl

[TheatreKid]

When I was first diagnosed I was in my early 20's and I was afraid of medication. My therapist told me the goal of the medication wasn't to flatten me out, but instead to take the top and the bottom and bring them closer together, so it wasn't as extreme and was more like what non-bipolar people experience.

That said, it's still a constant journey. I was ok for a while, and then added testosterone to my medication mix and the last 2 years have been a scramble to find out what medication will fix what the hormones destabilize. But when I'm stable, I feel good. Not manic good, just normal good. I struggle with problems common to other young people like relationships and self esteem, but I'm able to get through them for the most part. I miss stability.

As for school, does your school have an office or centre for students with disabilities? My school has one, and I just needed to bring in documentation of my mental health condition and I meet with a disability coordinator twice a year to set up accommodations like extra time on tests or help with notes.

When I'm depressed and am having trouble getting schoolwork done, I break it down to really small pieces - I commit myself to working for 5 minutes, and when the 5 minutes is up I can continue for another 5 minutes or stop. Usually I find that once I start, I keep going.

[wildflowerchild25]

Medication does not need to make you flat. When I take meds I am on one med and it does not make me flat and emotionless. I have been on many that do but the key is to keep tryig until you find the one right for you. You have to decide what your goal is. It seems the depressions bother you most, so is your goal to relieve and prevent depressive symptoms? If so that's what you're looking at for in medication

I think you would do well with some type of therapy as well, either talk therapy or CBT or DBT. That way you can have someone help you figure out h
What your treatment goals are and how to meet them.

I have to say in regards to school depression always hurts your productivity. But I find if I keep a schedule and only do one or two things a day I can handle it better. Make a list, heck it off, etc. and reward yourself for accomplishing something. Sometimes if I'm depressed and I wash dishes I will allow myself a half hour of sulk time.

[Victoria'smom]

Draw a wave chart split it in have horozonally

. Sdo now you have a top and a bottom.

Divide both side in half horizontally again.

So now the wave is split into 4 vertical sections.

The middle two boxes color them in.

So now you should have a small in colored top, a large colored middle, and a small bottom.

In the colored middle write in big letters TYPICAL, above the top of the wave write manic, below the bottom of the wave write depressed.

So now the top of the wave is manic, the bottom of the wave is depressed and the two middle sections are labeled Typical.

The point of medication is to try to get you to as close to typical with as little medication possible with out hitting the middle line or below it as your base mood. If the persons base is to close to the middle line or below it people stop there medication. Most of us spike out of typical at times. Some of us our goal is to be remotely close to typical. My goal is to stay in the range that hospital and incarceration is not forced.

As far as school it helped me to only go part time, take college success class and join TRIO. If you live in the dorms you can get a waiver from the disabilities office to live on campus while taking part time classes.

If this doesn't make sense I'll try again just tell me.

[Trackgirl]

Thank you all for the advice. If hormone changes effects the bipolar, then that means pregnancy would be a challenge right?