[lonelychick]

Hi everyone! I'm not sure where to start but I really need advice on how to handle something that happened at work today. My bipolar and anxiety have been causing problems for awhile now but the impact at work has been minimal for the most part. Today a new person started working. She worked the first part of her shift at our headquarters getting training then came here after lunch. I found myself completely paralyzed. She was here for 3 hours and I was unable to even make eye contact, much less walk up and introduce myself. I know it was perceived as rude and that wasn't my intent but whenever I thought of going to say hi I got so overwhelmed I literally started crying. The longer she was there the worse it got because I knew it looked ruder and ruder which just made me even more paralyzed and anxious. I know everyone (less than favorite assistant manager included) is thinking horrible things about me and I don't know what to do to make it right. I feel like I owe her an apology and an explanation but what do I say? How do I say it when I can't even introduce myself? It's my responsibility as the established person here to be welcoming and I was standoffish and mean. The assistant manager already has problems with me. I feel so horrible and guilty. You only get one chance to make a first impression and I blew it. Sorry this is so long, I'm just worried.

[Hopeful Camel]

If I understand you correctly, I think you can fix this easier than you think. She was probably more concerned with being new, than with you. Just tell her you had stuff on your mind, apologize, make a big deal over her tomorrow, and carry on. I don't think you need to say "what" you had on your mind. Just tell her you hope she will forgive you and that you want to assure her that this is a great place to work. I know that my anxiety and bipolar make me get worked up way more than normal people do. So I would let yourself relax tonight, be good to yourself, and just know that this too shall pass. I have a DBT journal and that is one of the pages: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. I'm sure you are a great person. I'm sure she will be thrilled that you are reaching out to her tomorrow. Have a good evening.
:-) hugs!!!!

[Standup2me]

Excellent idea HC

[r010159]

This is nothing compared to some of the things I have said or done. I remember one day saying that "if one were to walk past the Chairman of the Boards office with an intelligence meter, the needle would drop to zero". I found out later I was talking to his son, who was also on the Board of Directors. OOPS.

Hang in there!

PS: He and his father later hired me in again to get their computer back up and running during the Xmas season. So I guess they got over it.

[Mickey4333]

I also agree with Hopeful Camel. Good luck!

[lonelychick]

Thanks. I just feel bad. It's a fairly small workplace. A new person is really obvious. There were only 7 of us there today so it was really noticeable that I didn't talk to her or interact with her at all. Her shift ends as mine is starting tomorrow, so I'll have to make sure I get there with enough time to talk to her. I'm already dreading it.