[doglover1979]

Yesterday I told my mother something mildly disappointing.

It was the kind of news that most people would have a reaction of "Well that is inconvenient, but ok."

She flew off the handle and dressed me down, insulting my recovery, my boyfriend, my job and my personality. Basically tearing down my whole life in a very insulting, angry way.

I know she is off her meds. She has reacted this way before.

About a month ago we had a conversation about meds. She said that she is getting off the lithium. When I asked why, she said she felt like she didn't need it anymore. I reminded her of what it is like to be off meds, and that she makes bad decisions that make life worse. I reminded her what it feels like to be off meds, and how uncomfortable racing thoughts and lack of sleep can be.

I don't think the conversation took.

The thing is, I can't be around her when she isn't taking care of herself, mostly because she can be very mean to me.

I don't know what to do, because I know that when people ask if you are taking your medication it can be very insulting. I really don't want a fight.

I get so frustrated with this, I don't understand why its ok for me to have BP, but when it comes to her there is so much denial. I got it from her!

Any advice? Anyone have a BP parent?

[Victoria'smom]

You can't help making her take medicine. You can do damage control and stay away as much as possible.

[wildflowerchild25]

I suspect my mother is BP but she wouldn't even consider it. She was in therapy and on medication for awhile when I was young but gave it up when my dad died. Now that I live with her again I see clear up and down patterns that affect her life because she'll isolate and refuse to talk to anyone for days. And we live with her so that's a feat. But she doesn't take it out on us usually.

Honestly I agree with MM. You can't force her to take meds. You can set up boundaries though. Tell her that you will not speak to her until she can speak to you in a calm, appropriate manner. You don't have to take verbal abuse from anyone. I don't talk to mostly my whole family because they just criticize me. I'm not putting up with that anymore.

Same thing with my own mom. We haven't been able to move out because of finances but when we are, I'm not going to talk to her when she's irritable and depressed. It's not my job anymore to make her feel better. It never should have been.

[swheaton]

I think my late mom had Bipolar disorder. She was never truly happy and I know she had episodes of depression. I wish she had been given meds, maybe she would have been more at peace.

You cannot make someone take their meds, but you can love them from a distance.

[doglover1979]

You guys are right.

Its just upsetting to me when she does this, an I wish I could help. When she is medicated we have a pretty good relationship. When she goes off her meds she starts acting like this. It really triggers my BPD, and I can't be around her. I am very sensitive and when things like this happen it effects me for days, sometimes weeks.

At one point it got so bad that we didn't speak for six months. It makes me really sad.