And I see that times a wasted go. F this god damn life and everybody in it.

[Travelinglady]

Things going any better now?

Honestly no. At this point in life, I will absolutely never be able to achieve what I'd like to, do what I'd like to, or travel where I'd like to.

I put a fake smile on every moment I'm awake. No matter how much medicine they wind up prescribing me, or how much talking I do with a therapist, it will be all a waste.

Bottom line is everything has caught up with me. The only thing left I think is to relocate to another state besides where I'm at.

[Ms.Beeblebrox]

Hi Lmciyah,

I am very sorry you feel this way.

Could you please give a bit more detail on your goals? What is it that you will not be able to achieve now? Where do you want to travel?

In my day I traveled a lot and changed professions three times, immigrated to different countries twice, learned another language, got education in a field I sucked at the most in college etc. I (and others) might be able to give you some advice on the subject, due to having these experiences. Or you might have an idea of your own while writing it down.

If I started, you will probably tell me the same thing I was told in the hospital. I set unrealistic goals. Having said that, I guess I am trying to survive from one day to the next. I quit setting goals because something always fouls them up. Perhaps, relocating away from family, and only talk to them when I can brag on where I've been or what I've bought, since that's the only thing they ever call to talk about.

[Ms.Beeblebrox]

That might happen, or not. Give it a shot. You have nothing to lose. After all we are all bipolars here and people in the hospital were not. What if we can relate?

Originally Posted by Lmciyah

If I started, you will probably tell me the same thing I was told in the hospital. I set unrealistic goals. Having said that, I guess I am trying to survive from one day to the next. I quit setting goals because something always fouls them up. Perhaps, relocating away from family, and only talk to them when I can brag on where I've been or what I've bought, since that's the only thing they ever call to talk about.

Relate? Please explain?

[Ms.Beeblebrox]

Originally Posted by Lmciyah

Relate? Please explain?

Relate = understand, share similar experience. Sorry if I use the word wrong

It's just that I find that other mental health survivors usually give me a way better advice on how to cope with the illness while still living to my full potential than those without this experience (sometimes including mental health professionals).

I didn't know what you want me to share. I am very scared sharing much, since big brother is reading this and recording this constantly.