[imokyourok]

Help! My spouse has severe mental illness. He was dx with ADHD and severe depression but now am told that he is in a "manic" state so he may soon be dx with bipolar. His new symptom is spending ALL our money! I am unemployed and this is bad news. I have been covering everything with my retirement money and I cant do it much more before we become homeless. I go to a NAMI support group the crisis worker told me about. They told me to protect myself financially and take my name of of his checking acct (i have my own checking but i put my name on his to manage his but its a mess!). I was not sure what to do as he is ill and cant manage money right now. I thought when i "caught" him taking our money for car parts on paypal he would stop as he told me but he hasnt! I discovered this morning hes still doing it. So now I know he is not rational and not listening to me. What do I do? I think this is my sign to take care of myself, pay my bills, take my name off of his acct. I dont want a divorce but maybe I DO need a legal separation to protect myself financially, not sure? Anyone been through this? Advice/support welcome. Thank you!

[pawn78]

Separate your finances from him ASAP. Also, talk to a doctor about his mania, which needs IMmediate attention and medication.

[Victoria'smom]

Take his name off the account for now. If he's really bad take him to the er

[Resident Bipolar]

These are the reasons that mine and my partner's finances will always be kept separate (I'm Bipolar and he's just really, really bad at managing money). If you have your own source of income (wherever that may come from), put that into your own account and change the details so it cannot be accessed by your spouse.

If you don't, but you have access to the account that funds lie in, your best bet is to take what you can and what you need and put it into your own account to cover bills, food, travel etc.

You need some support for this - it sounds like things are becoming very difficult. As his spending has become reckless, your spouse could be suffering from a manic episode. You need to contact the health professional responsible for his care as he may need support, such as therapy, financial assistance and/or medication. Check in at some local advice charities for some free legal advice where possible, which could be a mental health charity.

For now, though, you need to take care of yourself and protect yourself financially. I'm sorry I cannot be of more help - I'm not sure of the help available to you.

[buzz bee]

Oh I know that feeling he is feeling so well. Take him off everything. My hubby took over the finances and gives me allowances for my own stuff I want. We now have a budget so when I go by groceries I need to see what is in the budget and get it as close as possible.

If he is Bipolar and gets on some medication things will get so much better. Hang in there!!! I know its hard. You can do it!

[LacunaCoiler]

During the episode that got me diagnosed with Bipolar my gf finally took away all my credit cards and left me with the one that had the lowest balance so if I "needed" to spend money I could only do so much damage.

I agree with everyone else, take away as much of his ability to touch the money as you can and get him some help.

[otroo]

You should also close his paypal account. My wife took me off any joint accounts and gave me an allowance.

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[sarahblue]

There's another forum here for caregivers. You might find some good suggestions there as well. Partners of People & Caregivers Support - Forums at Psych Central