[Nikkinums]

Because I seem to be so secluded I have no friends, I'm always in the house and when I do leave the house it's with the kids. My boyfriend makes it seem like I shouldn't have friends anyway. I don't mind spending time with my kids but mommy needs adult convo some times. He goes and hangs with his friends whenever. I shut down depression sets in and my mind goes into overdrive. And them voices really be talking to me. I know it's not right but I was so stressed about three days ago I wanted to drive my car off the road into a poll because I feel my babies would be better off.d

[Disorder7]

Many of us on here isolate ourselves so well, we end up having acquaintances but not real friends. We build walls around ourselves, partly to protect people from us.

You sound like you have some other serious issues going on at the moment. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? If so, I hope you tell them about your urge to crash your car.
And no, you should never believe your kids would be better off without you being alive!

[pawn78]

I don't have much for friends either. I guess that's why I hang out here on the forum lately.
Here I can really share my deepest stuff and everyone is understanding here. We are all in the same boat so to speak.

Just like in the Red Green show, We're all in this together.

[bipolar gemini]

You're post really hit home, I've felt like that a thousand times. and even though i know it will pass, it never makes those moments any easier.
just wanted to say that you're not alone, there's others here that feel the same way, and that often helps me to remember that..you did the right thing to post your feelings. and by you doing so, it also helped me in return. so thank you for your bravery!

[ceramichornets]

I have friends but I don't really get to see them very often. Most of them are poor and live pretty far away. I've got two that I see pretty regularly, but since we're trying to save money there really isn't much for us to do. My best friend and I used to hang out all the time. She has more friends now and is always going on dates, so I can't expect her to pay attention to me.

I didn't realize until reading this post, but I guess I'm pretty lonely, too.

[littlemiss44]

I have a handful of friends...only two who are genuine. Yes at least I have them but most the time I feel so alone.my mom just died a week ago and she was my best friend. We talked every day. A few minutes ago I said to myself that I wanted to call her. So for a split second I thought she was alive. It's brought my depression back full force. She was such a wonderful person. I will miss her the rest of my life. It's good to try and not isolate.try and go for walks with yr kids. Don't ever think they don't need you. I.used to think my kids would be better off without me and I was wrong. Please talk with yr pdoc or therapist about these feelings. No matter how bad you feel yr life is worth it! Maybe you could join a support group or join yr local nami location if you have one near you. Life is precious and I know yr pain is real. I met one new friend on here that I talk to on the phone several times a week. She lives far away but she's a great new friend that I have. Good luck and take care of yr self.

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[ceramichornets]

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

I have a handful of friends...only two who are genuine. Yes at least I have them but most the time I feel so alone.my mom just died a week ago and she was my best friend. We talked every day. A few minutes ago I said to myself that I wanted to call her. So for a split second I thought she was alive. It's brought my depression back full force. She was such a wonderful person. I will miss her the rest of my life. It's good to try and not isolate.try and go for walks with yr kids. Don't ever think they don't need you. I.used to think my kids would be better off without me and I was wrong. Please talk with yr pdoc or therapist about these feelings. No matter how bad you feel yr life is worth it! Maybe you could join a support group or join yr local nami location if you have one near you. Life is precious and I know yr pain is real. I met one new friend on here that I talk to on the phone several times a week. She lives far away but she's a great new friend that I have. Good luck and take care of yr self.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how tough that must be. If you ever want to talk or vent, I'm here. I'm so glad, though, that you know life is valuable and that you have a friend to talk to. Keep it up, and stay positive. You deserve it.

[Angry1541]

Yeah...I have a few friends, but like NEVER doing anything with them...probably my best friend is (I know cheese alert) my wife and then my brother...other than that maybe my dad...other than that...I don't really talk to anyone else...not on a regular basis...

[sarahblue]

Why does your boyfriend think you shouldn't have friends? I find that worrying.

It's hard to make friends when depressed, and it's also challenging if you are a stay-at-home mom. When I had kids I hung out with other moms with kids the same age, so they could play together and we could have adult time. I also joined a parenting group to talk about how to be a better parent.

Try to find a playgroup and/or parenting group in your area. Meetup.com is a place to start.

Also you need some me time, without your kids and your boyfriend. It's important to set aside time for yourself. Maybe start by taking a nice relaxing bath at the end of the day.

Don't ever think that your kids would be better off without you. They wouldn't.

[Disorder7]

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

I have a handful of friends...only two who are genuine. Yes at least I have them but most the time I feel so alone.my mom just died a week ago and she was my best friend. We talked every day. A few minutes ago I said to myself that I wanted to call her. So for a split second I thought she was alive. It's brought my depression back full force. She was such a wonderful person. I will miss her the rest of my life.

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I'm sorry for your loss. It's rough. My mom died in 2006. For many years I would get the urge to call her. I would totally forget that she wasn't alive.
It takes a long time to adjust. And even then, the pain comes back almost out of no where.

[outlaw sammy]

WOW - What a good group ya'll are! Certainly this is a great place to "meet" others like yourself, and vent, or ask for advice, or just chat. And sarahblue - your advice is gold standard stuff. I couldn't agree more. The only thing I might add is to force yourself out into the mainstream. When you target groups of people with similar interests, then you're tapping into a rich (potential) friend-pool.

As a BP1 myself, it's too easy for me to insulate the world from me, and myself from the world, but it's not healthy. As humans, we're social critters and we need each other. Then again, it's sometimes killer hard to break out and mingle. I recommend "safe places" at first like church social events, or self-improvement classes (often free through the county), or even taking classes through a local academic institution. If worse gets to worse, check into a local hospital psyche ward: there's some very interesting people there.

[littlemiss44]

I love yr post...great ideas and you made me laugh with yr psych ward comment! :-) I needed a good laugh. Thx

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