[sdguy123]

I was just diagnosed and started meds a few months ago. I'm returning to school this fall after failing out once (because of bipolar stuff -- but before I knew what it was) and I'm terrified. I'm not quite 100% stable yet and the meds I take (Abilify) make me feel incapable and a little less smart, to be honest. Do most meds, from your experience, tend to have this effect? Even my memory has been affected a little bit. I'm afraid I won't be able to excel in school and that scares me. I still have many years left before I'm finished.

[venusss]

do you have to excell? Where I live it's about passing Nobody asks about my grades now... just do your best, get the diploma and don't stress too much over your self-image.

As for meds... many indeed have stupids as side effect.

[Skitz13]

Good for you, going back to school. That's always inspiring.

Yes, the meds will make you feel that way, but give it some time. Your mind will adjust. and you will learn to find ways to manage.
Don't let this disorder and your meds stop you from reaching your goals

As far as excelling, everyone wants to be on the honor roll, everyone wants to have the top grades.
"We" need to be very careful with in terms of stress and you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. That can result in disaster.

Why not look at it this way, you are battling an illness and working to reach your goals. You have already excelled.
Our personal best is a great motivator but I think you need to set realistic goals and not put so much pressure on yourself, in order to be successful.

When I was going for my diploma I had a bad episode and took a month off. It was a very intense program with a lot of sciences. When I was ready to go back, I went to one of the councelors and they set me up with specific supports to help me finish the program. Most college's offer something like that. I would probably meet with someone now and explain what your concerns are and I'm sure they will support you in succeeding.

Good luck to you, I'm always so impressed to read that people don't let BP get in the way of their dreams. And why should it...

[TheatreKid]

I dropped out of university twice due to bipolar hospitalizations. I suspect it's not just the bipolar in my case, but also my inability to focus my attention long enough to have good study habits, so when September rolls around I'm quickly overwhelmed.

I was put on Abilify in March and I'm experiencing the opposite of you. I am MORE me and MORE capable. It could be residual bipolar symptoms making you feel like that.

[Curiosity77]

I graduated from my masters program with straight A's and i was very unstable for the final year of my studies. I was able to somehow focus my mind on school, but i really don't know how i did it. I just refused to give up, even when my advisor told me to take time off. I don't know if that was a good decision because i ended up in hospital a little while after grad because everything unraveled when the structure of school was gone. I remember having to leave class to walk the hallways due to akithesia, it wS terrible. But the reason i got so sick was stress - stress from school and a lot of stress in my personal life. I think if i could have kept my stress level down i would have been ok because i was ok in first year. Anyways, it is possible to excel even with symptoms, but watch your stress, maybe don't take on a full course load if you can go a little slower. I find that i have some cognitive symptoms since being on meds, which i started during school, but i have worse cognitive symptoms without them when my mood is unstable. So it's just harder for us with bipolar. But don't let it stop you from reaching your dreams. Just go slow or wait if you're not stable yet.

[r010159]

I was able to somehow focus my mind on school, but i really don't know how i did it. I just refused to give up, even when my advisor told me to take time off. I don't know if that was a good decision because i ended up in hospital a little while after grad because everything unraveled when the structure of school was gone.

This is exactly what happened to me! But the difference was I found myself between big projects with nothing to do.

[Blue Swan]

Originally Posted by sdguy123

I was just diagnosed and started meds a few months ago. I'm returning to school this fall after failing out once (because of bipolar stuff -- but before I knew what it was) and I'm terrified. I'm not quite 100% stable yet and the meds I take (Abilify) make me feel incapable and a little less smart, to be honest. Do most meds, from your experience, tend to have this effect? Even my memory has been affected a little bit. I'm afraid I won't be able to excel in school and that scares me. I still have many years left before I'm finished.

Hi, I'm in school too and was diagnosed this past winter by the university Psychiatrist. I started meds and made it through to the end of the year with pretty good grades, which I'm actually not sure how I pulled that off. I had side effects to deal with on top of symptoms but found that my studies kept me focused, although I had some memory and confusion issues too like you. They passed for me and hopefully will for you too very soon. You still have summer to reach your goal of homeostasis, so don't worry about fall now. You will be awesome by then and stronger to get through the rest of your years.

[exclamationpoint]

Hey sdguy123. I had a similar experience in college, struggling to manage my course load as well as my illness, not to mention constantly changing side effects from switching medications often. I went through a period where I was very unstable during those years. I stayed in school, due in part to my own standards and in part to pressure from my family. I'm not sorry I stayed, and I did get my diploma. I now have a master's degree. In retrospect, though, I wish I had been kinder to myself and placed more importance on my mental health. I went to an excellent school with a great community, but I spent most of my college life isolated and barely completing my coursework. I know I would have gotten more out of the experience if I had taken a leave or lightened my load by taking fewer class, but I couldn't see that then because I placed so much importance on finishing school immediately. I also might have been able to control some of my more severe symptoms if I hadn't been balancing so much.

Everyone is on a different path in life. Let yourself take the time you need to look after yourself. Taking a leave can be discouraging, but even just reducing your course load might help you to have the time and energy to manage your symptoms.

Be kind to yourself!