Possible Depressive Episode

Okay, so I've been jumping between here and borderline because I'm not sure at all which I am, but right now, I'm wondering if I have something that would point to bipolar? For the past month or two, I've felt revved up, like I could do anything. I would have these really nice bursts of energy, and I'd manage to do something productive with them. But since yesterday, I've been tired constantly and all I want to do is sleep. Everything feels like such a chore. Even getting up took me a good hour. I really hate feeling like this, because I know that I'm not gonna get anything done, and I have a ton to do. I guess you could consider the last month or two to be hypomanic, because I honestly felt better than I had in years, and all I wanted to do was work and talk to everybody and my self-esteem was actually seeming on the up. But in the five years before I was hospitalized, I was 100% depressed. I had no motivation and I cried all the time and I just couldn't deal. So they put me on an antidepressant that made me violent, and then experimented with Neurontin & Trileptal, which seemed to calm me, but not enough to where I wasn't constantly changing moods. I know that bipolar usually involves a fairly consistent pattern in an individual, but would it be normal to have a period of totally down, then a period of moods that swung at least 5x a day, and then go totally up, and then totally down again? If this really is bipolar, I know I'm gonna need something to balance me out. At the moment, I'm wondering if I should up my Wellbutrin. I don't really wanna ask my doctor, because I know his response will be "No, you don't need it." But if I up it myself, he'll pretty much have to fill out a new prescription or let me go into withdrawal. He mentioned increasing it last time as a way to possibly control my impulses (like why patients with ADD are on it), but then decided against it. I really want to get better :/ I hate feeling depressed. Sorry.. I got a little off-course. My main two questions are 1) Do you guys think that this points to a dx of bipolar or cyclothymia and 2) Do you think increasing my Wellbutrin XL to 300 mg/day sounds like a good idea? Thank you.

Hello, MisterUnderstood. I think you should copy your post for your treatment team so they can make any adjustments deemed indicated.

We are not qualified to respond.

I wish you well.

Please dont up your meds.. Your too unstable mood wise . Contact your Pdoc and let he/she make changes.

Good luck

Well, one of the things that I think points to me being borderline and not bipolar (diagnosed borderline but sometimes people wonder if I might be bipolar) is that I cycle through a lot of moods in one day. Bipolar from what I hear is the mood periods last longer. Like a few months of high energy? Then again there's different forms, but still I think cycling through many moods closer together is more borderline profile. You can have both, though, and yeah I think you would have to ask a professional. xo

I guess y'all are right.. But tbh I don't like being on a lower dose. I don't get as much of a boost from it, and I just can't really function as well.. But that might be because with the SR, I had two different peaking times, hence two different highs. I just don't have enough energy at this dose, and I gained like two pounds back. I know that sounds kinda druggie, but I just need the boost of energy that Wellbutrin gives me. It's probably from the dopaminergic action, but it gives me motivation that I need desperately haha. The hypomania might've just been b/c Wellbtutrin is a psychostimulant, but I'm not sure. I also got hypomanic on Lexapro, but instead of happy and smiley, I got violent and suicidal. So :/ And I'm curious as to what both being comorbid looks like. I have the multiple switches that are affiliated with BPD, but I also have occasional random switches that are the hallmark of bipolar.. It's confusing ugh.

See, Wellbutrin made me a walking zombie. I couldn't function at all on it, it was like I could FEEL the frontal lobe of my brain being numbed when I was on it.