[outlaw sammy]

For three years, I was a facilitator for a popular bipolar/depression support group here in Denver, and it shocked me that nearly all participants kept their mental illness secret from as many people as possible. Even my best friend, who has BP1 has been married over seventeen years and has never told his wife. He, like so many others, just rationalize or justify their insanity with truckloads of handy excuses, "Oh, I thought we had far more money in our bank accounts then we apparently have, so that's why I bought that antique tobacco shop cigar Indian, besides it's a one-of-a-kind hand-carved collector's piece. It'll look great in our living room: don't you think honey?"

He'll never admit to her that he has a mental illness that sometimes causes him to do crazy things.

Why do you think that there's so much stigma surrounding mental illness? People fear what they don't know - and all most "normal" people know of mental illness they see on TV or as the worst untreated cases of the homeless. When one of us shoots up a theater of innocent people, and sits stoically mute at the defendant's table with copper-colored dyed hair. Observers say, "That's the face of mental illness." They don't see any of us invisibles raising a family, being productive contributors to our communities, going to church, etc. They don't know that we secretly suffer for those unpredictable symptoms of our illness.

The more of us who "come out of the closet," the more we can help each other erase the "freak" stereotypes. I think that you'll find almost everyone is receptive to candid honesty, and it's been my experience that most people shower me with "I got some questions that I've have always wondered about (the illness) but didn't know anyone who . . ."

[glok]

Hello, outlaw sammy.

Barriers to Mental Health Treatment: Stigma or Self-Sufficiency? | World of Psychology

I wish you well.

[~Christina]

Its a personal choice whether to disclose to anyone. Some people tell every one, some people tell just a few loved ones ..

There is no right or wrong answer ..

[TheatreKid]

Sammy, your post is exactly why I'm so open to the people in my life (as well as the happy side-effect that I have supportive people in my life ready to help me when I need it) but I respect the people who choose to keep it secret too. I've lost several people due to being so open. It's a weird paradox, I wouldn't have been as close friends with these people if I hadn't shared my experiences, but they wouldn't have left if I hadn't overwhelmed them eventually.

[notALICE]

I think it's more acceptable than it used to be. Education, people speaking out, but I have to admit I am hesitant to be entirely open about it, only those who need to know. I have told my older children because they run the risk, but did not tell my family doc. My psych doc most definitely. My family knows, my husband knows, but I feel it's a private issue.

Why the fear? I don't want people to treat me differently or even be discriminated against. I can function quite normally with a minimum of the right combo of meds and have recognized triggers, thus treating and preventing severe highs and lows. Not that is picture perfect all the time, but manageable.

I am honest on here, and an outside support group that specializes in depression and bipolar. I have bipolar disorder but I am not bipolar disorder. So much more than that

[Mamabug1981]

I'm pretty open, mostly because I need the people around me to be able to call me out when I'm not behaving right, as I don't always recognise it for myself.

[pawn78]

I don't give a flying **** what people think. I sometimes even tell people with a twinkle in my eye... Like, yeah, I'm special,and don't mess with me because I really am crazy and I have papers to prove it mofo!

Also, my whole family knows about it, because it is kind of difficult to hide when I had a manic episode of epic proportions so intense that even the police were scared of me.

[outlaw sammy]

Ya'll have some great insights. And of course it's a personal matter that only the individual should decide whether or not to share with whomever, but the reason I'm so adamant about letting "normal" people know that we're among them is so they can understand that we're not all living our lives being heavily sedated in a lock-down psyche ward. It's those damaging stereotypes which are injurious to us.

I hid my bipolar disorder for years, until I got in HUGE TROUBLE with the law. I was in a state of full blown manic-psychosis when the incidents occurred. At that point, I couldn't keep it a secret anymore, and the jury heard it all (verdict: not guilty by reason of insanity). After leaving the court, I swore that everyone I know, who could possibly be affected by my illness, should know in advance. Many were relieved and pleased to hear the truth.

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.

[wiretwister]

I was pulled from work by the police and spent five days in psych lockup then a month of daily therapy ,, and I still have never told my fellow workers or mgnt... they know I was on short term disability and nothing else.....wife and older children know because they were part of my release agreement ,,no one else's business....

[Creative1onder]

People can be quite ignorant and judgemental and if they haven't experienced what you have they won't understand but will make it seem as though they know better, are right.

[ricwag]

Originally Posted by outlaw sammy

Ya'll have some great insights. And of course it's a personal matter that only the individual should decide whether or not to share with whomever, but the reason I'm so adamant about letting "normal" people know that we're among them is so they can understand that we're not all living our lives being heavily sedated in a lock-down psyche ward. It's those damaging stereotypes which are injurious to us.

I hid my bipolar disorder for years, until I got in HUGE TROUBLE with the law. I was in a state of full blown manic-psychosis when the incidents occurred. At that point, I couldn't keep it a secret anymore, and the jury heard it all (verdict: not guilty by reason of insanity). After leaving the court, I swore that everyone I know, who could possibly be affected by my illness, should know in advance. Many were relieved and pleased to hear the truth.

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.

I basically handle things the way you do. I'm not very good at playing if close to the vest anyway.

But I have a couple of advantages when it comes to disclosure: I'm on disability so I don't have to worry about co-workers and bosses; also I started working in a mental health clinic early on and was very active in consumer issues. Everyone I knew had a diagnosis or at least worked in the field.

But, as TheaterKid said, I also overwhelm most people in my life (I like that phrase by the way). The unfortunate reality is that I burn through people whether they know about the BP or not. Perhaps I'm not a great poster-boy against stigma.

[cashart10]

I'm definitely not open about my illness but wish I were open about it. I would love to help fight the stigma but find I just can't.

[Creative1onder]

Whats stopping you from being open about it....fear ? fear of what others think/how they perceive you.

[Alone & confused]

I tell anyone and everyone I'm bipolar, mainly to Warn people who are around me that I have the potential to"snap" at a moments notice and without forewarning, so that they will know to stay clear of me if this happens until I can regain control of myself, HOPEFULLY before I say or do something I'll regret. I work REALLY HARD to maintain control of the manic episodes, but it never ends well when people don't know when to "respect the bubble" and give me my own space to calm down & get ahold of myself! I find it's better for all involved for them to know WHY it's so important for me to be left alone sometimes. For me, it's better that the people around me understand my situation than to get blindsided by it.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Creative1onder

Whats stopping you from being open about it....fear ? fear of what others think/how they perceive you.

Yes, that's it exactly. The negative stigma against Bipolar is so strong that it is hard to break through. I have been telling more people, one at a time.

[Creative1onder]

Some people don't regard depression or Bipolar as real illness.

[lilypup]

I keep it a secret for about 20 years. I used to lie like crazy to friends, relatives, and work about what was going on. I finally went out on disability which eliminated the need to lie at work. My husband knows of course...he is my total caregiver and goes with me to appts, managing my meds, etc.
I got pretty sick of lying to people. So I gradually started telling people that were close friends. They are all still friends so I guess they either suspected or knew. I even wrote a few letters to friends I had dropped away from because I did some embarrassing manic things around them and couldn't face them. I heard back from two of them and have wonderfully rekindled those relationships. I don't tell new friends right away, or people like hairdressers etc. My nieighbors don't know as we are friendly but not friends with them. So I disclose to those close, but not all.
I respect anyone and support everyone's right to choose disclosure or not.

[outlaw sammy]

I LOVE ALL THESE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES! ACreative1onder "hit the nail on the head" so to speak, with "Some people don't regard depression or Bipolar as a real illness." Unfortunately, I have a couple of half-siblings who think my BP1 is only a contrived "excuse" for my moments of insanity. Why worry about those mentally-challenged fools in the world? Rather, worry about those who want to know why you're so "different", but are afraid to ask.

As a Jew, we are abundantly aware that there many of those who deny that the Holocaust ever really actually occurred - in spite of the mountains of material evidence to support our claims to that dark chapter in our history. We waste no time trying to convince those who refuse to listen to reason and material evidence. It would be like explaining that the world is round to a red squirrel: a waste of time and energy.

So too, this is true of mental illness. There's mountains of scientific evidence to support that it does in fact exist - but also what it looks like with respect to the diverse manifest varieties. Hell - even the federal and state laws ALL RECOGNIZE mental illness.

Still, there are those brain-dead individuals that attempt to aggravate and annoy us with their stupidity. Don't bother with them.

[outlaw sammy]

Originally Posted by lilypup

I keep it a secret for about 20 years. . . . I heard back from two of them and have wonderfully rekindled those relationships. . . .
I respect anyone and support everyone's right to choose disclosure or not.

Let me offer you my highest congratulations on recovering two (lost) friends!

Certainly, I'm not asking anyone to place themselves in any risk, but let's not rely on the television sitcoms to educate others as the our illness. Remember, ignorance is the fertile soil from which springs the thorny weeds of prejudice.

[Tucson]

Still, there are those brain-dead individuals that attempt to aggravate and annoy us with their stupidity. Don't bother with them.

Well said!

[Lobster Hands]

People know that I'm bipolar. They know about crazy things I did while at work. They know how weird I can be, how hard I am to talk to sometimes, how annoying I am, and of course how off the wall my thoughts are. BUT, they also know the real me. They know that I'm not some crazy psycho. They know I care about people. They know my accomplishments.

I'm open enough that people who know about me now see that people affected by bipolar disorder can be normal just like everybody else, except in a more unique way. Normal in a unique way, that sounds good enough to me.

They are now educated.

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk

[Creative1onder]

People with Bipolar can have great qualities and talents about them. They can be really intelligent, funny, creative, ambitious, adventurous, determined, resilient and caring.