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#1
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oh mania, you have come back to me like a jilted lover. you words and promises are so sweet. I do believe we should have a frank discussion of our relationship as I see it though.You have not been absent from my mind these last few months. You have been right by my side. Curious to find that I was blind to this fact. But I am looking at the ashes of what my life has turned into. When you fly high it is only a matter of time till you touch the flames and burn your wings. I know we are not threw quite yet. Mania so seductive you are, you really took your time to take hold. Im looking at the ruin of a good life right now. Things are not totally smashed at least not yet. This time mania it is different, I am not so young. There will be real consequences to my actions this time around. Your sweet voice always entices me, draws me in, closer to you. It has been many years since you have come calling. I was thinking about the last time, oh how bizarre and perverse my thinking then was. I know when I take your hand just as I have and you guide me we will bask in the sun for only a short while. I do want to see how far we can go. How low this will get. you play games with my heart. I have goals in life, great ones to set me apart from others. but we both know I am not good enough for those goals. we both know that failure is the road I must take. and this time it shall be spectacular. for right now if things were to stop and I have glimpse of sanity to pick up the pieces would be near impossible. near impossible and impossible are two very different things. we would like the impossible. that is what we are after, this is where normalcy will end. what will it be lover, glorious failure looks assured. how tangled the mind can get.
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-muller -|up for some of the old ultraviolence. |
#2
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I like your description of flying close to the flame and burning your wings.
It is a strength that you have some insight into how the high promises and teases you, but you have to deal with the fallout and consequences after. How can you cope with your mania without creating new problems for yourself? Stay safe. Post here for support.
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Bipolar II / GAD / SAD / PMDD ------------ Prozac 30mg, Wellbutrin 150mg, Latuda 40mg |
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