[Auja11007]

I'm EXTREMELY ANXIOUS

As some of you may have read my post concerning my family and the lackadaisical support they've been giving since I came forward, this is just another situation being added on the pile.

In a attempt to get out yesterday I had dinner with my grandparents. The initial meeting with them concerning my situation went rather well as they were both more responsive than anyone else but yesterday didn't. When the topic came up they only skimmed the surface and quickly changed it to something more trivial or changed it all together.

I have been feeling better since Tuesday and I believe eating well, working out and focusing on work has played a huge role in this. I was telling them how I have to be vigilant as it can turn to mania rather quickly followed by a major manic depressive episode. (surely enough this was spot on yesterday.)

What really got me was they told me that both them AND my mother are leaving for Hong Kong on the 13th of next month for 7 days. This may not seem like long but they are THE VITAL key elements in my support system as my sisters aren't reliable and my father is out of the question. I would have thought one of them might have volunteered to stay but I also realize this is a huge trip and not something that could be easily changed. I'm not sure how long it's been planned and I felt guilt when I thought of asking.

I know I can't ask anyone to put their lives on hold because of me but in hearing this it made me realize that they haven't really been paying attention to all the clues and hints I've been trying to express. My blog has yet to be read or mentioned by any of them. I feel it would have been had they read it and seen the brutally honest expressions of my constant shift in polarity.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm afraid of the possibility of something happening while they are gone and not having anyone there when I would need them the most. I don't feel like I can say anything to them about this and would feel guilty in doing so. I also came crashing down last night into a manic depressive episode. I'm having a rough morning so I'm not sure exactly how I'll feel today.

I'm trying to keep my mind off of it and keep the rationalization of the fact that this is still a little ways out and anything could happen before then.

So far this forum has provided more support and understanding than any other factor in my life. I have been alone in my research and treatment actions and have only been questioned rather than assisted.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by Auja11007

I'm EXTREMELY ANXIOUS

As some of you may have read my post concerning my family and the lackadaisical support they've been giving since I came forward, this is just another situation being added on the pile.

In a attempt to get out yesterday I had dinner with my grandparents. The initial meeting with them concerning my situation went rather well as they were both more responsive than anyone else but yesterday didn't. When the topic came up they only skimmed the surface and quickly changed it to something more trivial or changed it all together.

I have been feeling better since Tuesday and I believe eating well, working out and focusing on work has played a huge role in this. I was telling them how I have to be vigilant as it can turn to mania rather quickly followed by a major manic depressive episode. (surely enough this was spot on yesterday.)

What really got me was they told me that both them AND my mother are leaving for Hong Kong on the 13th of next month for 7 days. This may not seem like long but they are THE VITAL key elements in my support system as my sisters aren't reliable and my father is out of the question. I would have thought one of them might have volunteered to stay but I also realize this is a huge trip and not something that could be easily changed. I'm not sure how long it's been planned and I felt guilt when I thought of asking.

I know I can't ask anyone to put their lives on hold because of me but in hearing this it made me realize that they haven't really been paying attention to all the clues and hints I've been trying to express. My blog has yet to be read or mentioned by any of them. I feel it would have been had they read it and seen the brutally honest expressions of my constant shift in polarity.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm afraid of the possibility of something happening while they are gone and not having anyone there when I would need them the most. I don't feel like I can say anything to them about this and would feel guilty in doing so. I also came crashing down last night into a manic depressive episode. I'm having a rough morning so I'm not sure exactly how I'll feel today.

I'm trying to keep my mind off of it and keep the rationalization of the fact that this is still a little ways out and anything could happen before then.

So far this forum has provided more support and understanding than any other factor in my life. I have been alone in my research and treatment actions and have only been questioned rather than assisted.

Hey sorry to hear! Maybe try to use a little DBT, to change your anxiety and fear...just google mindfulness and also they have lots of apps for phones as well! Btw, from my experience, the Adderall will just cause and create anxiety and mixed episodes! Best of luck!

[Auja11007]

Thank you vans1974, I'll have to check it out. I'm starting to see that with the adderall and I know I need to taper off it's just been extremely hard when my morning are so rough before taking it.

What is DBT. I'm not sure I know that acronym.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by Auja11007

Thank you vans1974, I'll have to check it out. I'm starting to see that with the adderall and I know I need to taper off it's just been extremely hard when my morning are so rough before taking it.

What is DBT. I'm not sure I know that acronym.

Hi, Dialectical behavior therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia