[bellenuit]

Managed to make it to the grocery today, clean up the kitchen, and do a load of laundry. Now I am back in my chair. Tomorrow we are having a cook out. I don't know if I can put on a show for everyone. I really just want to sit here in the dark, alone. A few of the people we invited have been our friends for over 13 years. They have seen me at my worse and at my best. I don't know if i want them to see me like this (again). The others we invited are my daughter's boyfriend and his parents. They weren't around when I was very ill. They don't know about my history, so to speak. Then of course Tuesday is back to work. I'm not keeping it together very well. I hope they don't notice. Just really tired of fighting.

[~Christina]

Im sorry your feeling so tired and wore out, yet life goes on and it needs to your to proceed.

At trick I have used when I "have" to be around people I tell myself that I will take mini breaks 5-10 mins , sneak away to the bathroom/ bedroom/outside . Just time to regroup to get through another 30 mins or an hour or whatever.

Just by telling myself I have that escape already planned I can usually make it through whatever event is going on that requires my presence. Once it is over I can go into deep self soothing mode.

I hope this idea helps somehow

[Love&Toil]

When I have to put on a big party and just feel like being alone, I usually get really grumpy beforehand. I say I don't feel like being fake and putting on a big fake smile. Dh says, "So don't." That's very freeing, giving yourself the permission to admit to some need to be more quiet. Can you "hide out" in the kitchen while your dh socializes and keeps the masses busy? I think Christina gave a great idea, to give youself an "out" every little while.

In the meantime, perhaps a nice of peace and quiet would help you for tomorrow. Can anybody help you get ready for tomorrow?

[Standup2me]

I am like Christine

I it break it down into 20 minute blocks I know that I can through that 20

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Im sorry your feeling so tired and wore out, yet life goes on and it needs to your to proceed.

At trick I have used when I "have" to be around people I tell myself that I will take mini breaks 5-10 mins , sneak away to the bathroom/ bedroom/outside . Just time to regroup to get through another 30 mins or an hour or whatever.

Just by telling myself I have that escape already planned I can usually make it through whatever event is going on that requires my presence. Once it is over I can go into deep self soothing mode.

I hope this idea helps somehow

That's a really smart idea ! Thanks for sharing.

[bellenuit]

Everyone will be here soon. Not ready for this. House is clean. Hubby is grilling. My daughter and I made the rest of the food. Now, for the rest of the night I get to pretend everything is okay.