New Dude

I am new and am looking 4 answers.I know i am Bipolar but have been misdiagnosed for years as depressed.I am 36,married with 3 children.Been with my wife since 10th grade and how she puts up with me i dont know?.I joined the Marines out of high school .The perfect place for a Crazy man.was in the infantry for 4 years .My wife lived in NY i was in Guam 18 months (seen herand year old son 21 days out of that 18 months),then stationed in California,and on Ship for 6 months,..So for the 4 years i was in I saw her and my son104 days total.my Daughter who was born the last year I was in.I was on the USS Tarawa in Somalia when she was born.When i first saw her she was a month old,I got to see her for 10 days then back to Cali..So when I came home she was 1 year old and I only saw her 10 days..Needless to say as a Machine gunner in the Marines i was Drinkin fighting and cursingfor years ,then i have to come home now and be a family man and get a real job.I worked in a factory for a year and a half ,drinkin a lot even at lunch time.Then i took the Postal test and became a Mailman in 1995.Thats my story .
Whenever i do something i do it 150 percent then get bored after a couple of weeks or months and then find something else to do.I worked 40 hours a week then would mow 13 lawns on the side to make money.My wife would complain I dont spend time at home,but i thought i was a hero cuz i was bringing home more money.So igave up mowin and started lifting weights at the gym,everyday,buying protein and all the other gimmicks,,that lasted 3 or 4 months,then i would golf twice a week,that lasted couple years,
I am always thinking of how to make money.Constantly .If i sell my 1988 truck for 800.00 and then buy another one for 500.00.I would have 300.00 .Stupid thoughts constantly like that,,Then i would go to church 2 or 3 times a week read the Bible everyday and be a good guy..(no drinkin or fightin or even confrontations).But then i felt like a Wussy,.
i would try to explain the bible how I understood it and people would make me feel Dumb or to extreme.The bible is to hard to live up to ,Turn the other cheek,forgive people who wrong you no matter what.
I would love 2 talk to a pschiatrist but they cost money,and i just couldnt pay someone to listen to me ,cuz all i would be thinking about is how much more work i will have to take on to pay this guy ..
I need advice ..
mark

Mark,

are you seeing a doctor at all? do you have a general practioner? could you get a referral to a psychiatrist? perhaps looking into the medical side of things to help achieve some stability before you start talking with someone about the heavy stuff you've dealt with in your life.

it is wonderful that you take pride in providing for your family. the constant thoughts of money seem like they're intrusive and interrupting your daily life. often when thoughts become like that it can be a sign of the brain being out of balance (biploar being one disease/disorder that can flare up when that delicate balance is out of whack). learning that there is no shame in dealing with mental illness can be a huge start toward getting better.

are you willing to try therapy? are you willing to try to see a medical doctor?

these questions will better help with any advice offered up here.

good luck. thanks for taking the chance to post and thanks for telling so much in your first post.

Hey Mailman,

Do you have insurance? If you do, go and get evaluated by a pdoc. What could it hurt? I have known for awhile now (5 years or so) that I was Bipolar, but was so deep in denial about it that I did not go for help. Finally in Dec. '06 it was either put a bullet in my head or go to a pdoc. I found one and she is my lifeline to this disorder that is manageable. At least that is what everyone here is telling me. Just know that you are not alone and you can come here anytime and dump or ask questions, or even help others by listening. PM me anytime you want.

mailman,

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

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if you have insurance- it will pay for a pych. if not, there are programs out there to pay or help pay for dr. and medications. ask your reg. health dr. they can help. when i was first diag. w/bp, i had no insurance. the med. clinic where my psy. was at, offered a program that cut the cost almost in half. they also helped with programs that got most of my meds either free or little cost. good luck.if you look you can find help. but first you need to see a dr.

Veterans Adminastration? Free or a small co-pay. Check it out, hon. It's were I go. U.S. Navy, but spent all my time in Washington, D.C.
New Dudett

Holy crap man...that sounds a lot like me. I always get super excited about stuff and go full guns on it for a few days, weeks, maybe a month, and then get totally bored with it. I'm also always thinking of how to make more money, and have been to dealerships many times (trying to sell my car and save money).

Well, you'll find good support here. Welcome to PC!