[Victoria'smom]

Okay I'm great at knowing and over describing exact how I feeling. It's is the labeling that is harder. So I need help labeling and what to do next.

I feel like I took my PRN: calm and numb. However I have regular energy but I don't want to do anything.at the same time I'm suicidally bored.
If I know that there's others that's not in the same room as me I can't convince myself that they aren't talking badly about me. I just don't get it. What is this? Is it part of bipolar , depression or something else? My husband knows but I feel lost, help please.

If I do end up to impulsive and have to take the PRN How long do I have to commit to it?

[~Christina]

Bipolar is all kinds of things rolled up into one ... I think its an umbrella of Bipolar , ups and down anxiety panic suicidal thinking etc etc .. I could have 14 diagnosis or labels but my Pdoc just kinda lumps them all under the umbrella of Bipolar..

Your Prn is just that "as needed" could be a day or a week or a month ..Its just when you need it .. especially right now you have been through so much over the last few months but look at you ! You have had some bumps to get over but you have handled the wild ride and your upright and handling it well ... pat yourself on the back for all the great strides you have made.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Okay I'm great at knowing and over describing exact how I feeling. It's is the labeling that is harder. So I need help labeling and what to do next.

I feel like I took my PRN: calm and numb. However I have regular energy but I don't want to do anything.at the same time I'm suicidally bored.
If I know that there's others that's not in the same room as me I can't convince myself that they aren't talking badly about me. I just don't get it. What is this? Is it part of bipolar , depression or something else? My husband knows but I feel lost, help please.

If I do end up to impulsive and have to take the PRN How long do I have to commit to it?

It sounds like you're feeling paranoid. I get that. It's not fun. I get the same type you seem to be getting, the delusional type. I think people are talking about me, plotting against me . . . When I hear people laugh, I think they're laughing at me.

Now as to what to do next: my pdoc gave me an antipsychotic for it a few years ago. It's helped immensely. I still get paranoid, but it's not nearly as bad as it was. Are you on an antipsychotic?

It's tough to get rid of paranoia with therapy/CBT alone. I get obsessive, so for me it's pretty impossible. If you can do that though, more power to ya.

Paranoia is one of the "bipolar components," as my docs say, to my depression. So, it's part of the bipolar. It's part of mania, more specifically.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm bothered by being so bored that I'm suicidal. I'd understand if I was depressed but I'm calm, numb, but normal.

As long as my paranoia doesn't get in the way I'm okay with that.

___________

I'm on viibryd and have an anti psychosis as needed.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm bothered by being so bored that I'm suicidal. I'd understand if I was depressed but I'm calm, numb, but normal.

As long as my paranoia doesn't get in the way I'm okay with that.

___________

I'm on viibryd and have an anti psychosis as needed.

Ah, I see. I didn't understand that part before. I thought maybe the PRN was making you feel that way. I wasn't sure.

Maybe since you're numb, you want to feel something? Or things are too quiet and calm and you want to shatter the silence?

I think maybe in a way I understand it, but correct me if I'm wrong. I'll give you an extreme example that might seem really out of the blue: You might find this funny, but I swear to god I feel violent when I listen to Enya. She is too damn mellow. I literally feel the urge to rage and break things when I hear her music. I can't listen to her. Total opposite effect of what her music is supposed to do to people, lol.

I know you said you're numb, but are you not agitated by the boredom?

I am learning about all this, so I could be totally wrong, but what if you're experiencing something of a mixed state?

[Disorder7]

What is your pdoc doing about this?
I've had many pdocs over the years, and finally found one who gets it. If I'm depressed or having the blues, he can switch a mood with a med change/ addition in a matter of days.

You shouldn't have to go through this.

[lilypup]

Anytime mentioned suicide in any capacity, it is time to call the doc and adjust meds. Don't take a chance.

[LastQuestion]

Being so bored of existing that I'm suicidal has been rather constant for me this year. It's not a new experinces for me, just that the frequency and duration of those states is significantly greater than it has been in the past. In my opinion it's as much psychological and environmental as it is neurological, each of these actively influencing the other.

In my case I'm unable to really enjoy any aspect of my life. I don't have the resources required to alter this either. Just one day to the next trying to find some solution no one else knows of, professional or otherwise. That I become so bored of this that I have difficulty manufacturing reasons to continue placing forth the effort to exist is unsurprising to me.

I've honestly stopped trying to distinguish between paranoia and 'real'. I've found it better to ignore whatever I can ignore so as to reduce the stress I have to deal with which has helped, although far slower than I would have liked.

[Sad&Bipolar]

It sounds like a lot of symptoms are arising at the same time. If you do not have an appointment scheduled with a Pdoc soon, call the office and as to speak to your doctor about your symptoms. You may need a med adjustment. If you have a therapist, talk about all your symptoms in your next session, or request an emergency session if you don't have one scheduled for a while. Get info from the professionals first before doing anything. If you do feel suicidal, either call 911 or go to an ER. I have done both recently, and it helped me a great deal.

Never be afraid to reach out for help. You can also call the hotline: 1-800-273-8255. Their counselors are so compassionate and helpful.

Feel better soon.

[Victoria'smom]

As far as a med changes I'm SOL until the end of November and I don't do therapy intake until the end of October. I usually associate agitation with anger so calmly agitated seems like an oxymoron to me. I guess it could be a mixed state but I usually don't label moods so it's odd. I wish I understood what was going on.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

As far as a med changes I'm SOL until the end of November and I don't do therapy intake until the end of October. I usually associate agitation with anger so calmly agitated seems like an oxymoron to me. I guess it could be a mixed state but I usually don't label moods so it's odd. I wish I understood what was going on.

Calmly agitated does seem like an oxymoron. I guess I'm thinking if I were so bored I felt suicidal, what would I most likely be feeling if I weren't stir crazy?

I think sometimes numbness can be deceiving. Just because we aren't perceiving/feeling our feelings doesn't mean they aren't there. I can be a time bomb in this regard.

Why are you SOL until the end of November? Where'd your pdoc go? Can you see a different one in the meantime?

You also mentioned your PRN. Does it help at times like this?

[Victoria'smom]

I moved-ish August 1 my new insurance doesn't kick in until October 1st. My intake is November 18th so until then I'm SOL. Unfortunately I don't am between homes until October 7th. Until then I'm slowly moving down the coast. My PRN also makes me numb, calm but takes away the My personality.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I moved-ish August 1 my new insurance doesn't kick in until October 1st. My intake is November 18th so until then I'm SOL. Unfortunately I don't am between homes until October 7th. Until then I'm slowly moving down the coast. My PRN also makes me numb, calm but takes away the My personality.

Man that blows.

Hmm . . . So are you bored because you moved? Maybe it's an adjustment thing? I suck at adjusting to moves.

Yeah, I wouldn't want my personality taken away either. That's partially what I'm afraid of with my new med. I hear that. Plus, you might not even want more numbness.

So maybe instead of figuring out what it is, you just need to counteract the feelings themselves.

I know if I'm feeling self-destructive working out is a good catharsis. Plus I believe it increases dopamine, as well as endorphins which are very good and may help with the numbness and overall feeling of boredom.

Are you creative?

[~Christina]

MM ... Numb is better than the alternative and I think you know that .. For now just keep taking your PRN.. Once you make it to your new home town you could go to the ER and they might be able to get your in for an earlier appointment.. Hang in there your doing so well despite the crazy a.ss months you have had