[alb7310]

I feel like taking meds makes me weak, I try so hard to be (normal) but people can tell when I'm in a mood.Does anyone else's brain feel fried from trying so hard to fake it?

[Altered Moment]

The older I get the harder it is to "fake it" to force myself to do things I don't want to do. To act as if everything is ok when it is not. I don't have the energy.

I do not think taking meds is weakness at all. I think it shows courage and strength to admit I need help and can't do this on my own. If I don't know how to fix the transmission on my car does it make me weak that I can't do it. If I go to a mechanic who is an expert on transmissions does that make me weak? No. We need help in basically all areas of our lives.

[BipolaRNurse]

No, taking meds doesn't mean you're weak. I know it's hard to think of it that way with all of the stigma surrounding mental illness, but trust me, you're not weak.

And yes, sometimes my brain gets overwhelmed and shorts out when I'm trying to fake normalcy for too long, although it hasn't been as difficult since I've been medicated adequately. Believe me, you are NOT alone in this fight.....there are plenty of people here in the same boat.

[venusss]

It's nor weakness or bravery/courage/whatever.

Taking pills is taking pills. Just one of the ways to cope.

[Mountainbard]

Why do you think taking meds makes you weak? Would you be weak if you took meds for a serious physical illness? Why do you have to try so hard to fake it? Those are three questions I'd give some serious thought to.

[Curious651]

i can't believe meds make us weak. Been struggling with notion of taking them again. Moods been fluctuating so much so fast. Think older I get the more this is going to happen. I hope this does not make me weak. I do feel exhausted some days after putting on face all day. Your post certainly has me thinking. Take care. I can't tell ya something I am not doing my self so all I can say is try and do what you feel is best.

[LastQuestion]

When I listen to normal people complain about their life I realize they don't have a clue how hard it can be to live with mental illness. I often see them as weak, with their simple views of the human mind, cognition, perceptual experience, identity, emotional pain, torment, despair, powerlessness.

What it's like to live with this is inconceivabe for most people. They don't know what it requires of us to have the strength necessary for many of us to function and they'd be fools to want to, because it's awful. Medication can help, it enables many to have the presence of mind necessary to learn to be stronger, but it is not a sign of personal weakness to need it.

They remain oblivious to the mountains we scale. To think, the greatest concern for some people is whether or not abortion is legal. So many spend their time inventing strife and things to struggle with as opposed to mediating the suffering of others - I would call that weakness and condemn them for it.

[~Christina]

Taking meds does not make you weak.. Comparing yourself to "Normals" is a problem... I dont know a single "normal" person all. 7 billion people on this spinning rock battle some thing or another.

Just treat yourself kindly, use what coping skills you have to use, If your wore out and just cant "fake it til you make" then don't. Just be you and know that Bipolar is going to cycle, Why because it always does. That is the one true thing about Bipolar, It will cycle.

Take care

[Crazy Hitch]

It's completely draining having to put up a front to other people to pretend you're alright when you're feeling differently inside.

I used to do that at work - the fake smile with a "I'm really good, thank you", in response to how are you questioning. Even had someone in a superior position stating "You look so much better". I lied and said yes I am and I'm glad that you've noticed when the reality is I was dying inside.

I guess I kept the happy face at work because I made the stupid decision last year to disclose and from there felt like everyone was scrutinizing me and watching me like a hawk so I didn't want them to and I didn't want to give them cause for concern.

I went med free for a few years and it did NOT work or end well. It's taking a while for me to get better but I'm hopeful that im nearer the "right" cocktail but it's not a cure all but will hopefully it will soften the blow during mood swings.

[alb7310]

Been taking meds since 09 , still haven't got em right yet. I'm just tired of taking pills and not feeling better.

[pisatel]

absolutely not

[madness2meditation]

Originally Posted by venusss

It's nor weakness or bravery/courage/whatever.

Taking pills is taking pills. Just one of the ways to cope.

'It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society' - Krishnamurthy

Great quote !!!

And my biggest gripe with psychiatry. The whole diagnosis is made on the basis of how far you have veered from the 'normal' and the whole treatment is geared towards bringing you back towards that 'normal' (as if its something extraordinarily beautiful). The 'normal' is basically teethering on the same edge which you have just crossed.

(Apologies to anyone bored by the rambling. I'm probably approaching hypomania

[Tucson]

I think a person is weak when they are not willing to do whatever it takes to become stable. But being weak does not mean anything about the value you have as a person.

[Mountainbard]

Originally Posted by alb7310

Been taking meds since 09 , still haven't got em right yet. I'm just tired of taking pills and not feeling better.

Hi again alb-- this statement helps me understand your situation. If you're been on medication since '99, and "haven't got em right yet" I am guessing that means they've been of some help? Finding the right medications is a long process for some folks, and of course there are others whose bodies, for whatever reason, are just med-resistant. If meds have been any help to you I hope you'll keep trying. I know it's frustrating not having the right ones yet, but hold on to hope that someday you will.

[THE16THDOCTOR]

I've learned over the years to mask it pretty well, or so I thought. I wear hats a lot and pull them so low you can only see my mouth. Like a fool I though hey no one knows I'm anxious or depressed. Instead I just look strange lol. I learned to mask it without my safety blanket hat. Is it possible you only think ppl know you're not doing well or in a mood and they may not actually know? Or you're sure they know? At work I have difficulty with this but a lot of my coworkers are pretty self involved so it makes things easier bc they don't care.