[jesusplay]

Woke up this morning, went to therapist.
Went to the mall.
drove around town.
Went to a bipolar meet up, but no one was there(prob should have called in advance)
I crashed around this time to deep depression.
I walk over to get ice cream.
sat at a public transportation bus stop(I own a car).
I ate my ice cream and thought about jumping in front of the next passing car, each spoonful a new idea on the aftermath of these actions.
I ate the ice cream to slowly, I was on the bench for a while, in the dark, just pass car headlights.
I drive to 2 book stores, I look for a bible to buy. I threw my bible away years ago.
I text a friend, she tells me I need professional help, you're an associate, not a friend now.
I go home to masterbate.
I forgot to take my seroquel and klonopin because I'm not sleepy.
I shower for the first in days.
I feel inspired, I have thoughts, I try to remember them.
I will watch the sunrise today

I saw 2 dead cats that were identical, I thought I was hallucinating, but one was removed from the road and the other still there.

all living things should return to the dirt

[Crazy Hitch]

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this and all the emotions and thoughts running through your head. We can allow ourselves to travel to some dark places sometimes. I don't understand either when I feel overwhelmed. How long have you felt this way?

[Manic Trance]

This sounds awful, but that is an amazing piece of writing.

[intergalactictraveler]

jesusplay, I ultra rapid cycle and my pdoc thinks I might have Complex PTSD. Everyday I'm all over the place, emotionally, and life hits me hard. Sadness and pain over so many things. But we just go on, one foot in front of the other, like weary soldiers slogging through the mud.