[middlepath]

The pressure in my life is overwhelming right now. The county I work for is HIGH stress. I help students with severe emotional disabilities (is this the blind leading the blind?), and have been completing grad school simultaneously. One of my professors just dropped a "bonus assignment" on us at the last minute that and I was already maxed out. This "bonus assignment" is like the last drop that overfows the bucket for me. I have felt depression looming for a couple of weeks now, but it feels like things are heading south. I haven't been depressed for nearly 2 years now so I guess its time. crap. Is there anything I can do to help prevent the plummet? FYI I am unmedicated (and have been fine that way for at least a year now other than anxiety meds PRN).

I am feeling a weird way that I haven't really felt before... I am type A and a VERY productive person. But right now, I have this sense of overwhelm that is leaving me paralyzed. I just can't initiate any tasks because I can't seem to figure out a plan of attack so my brain just freaks out and shuts down. I feel like I can't do anything but there is SO much to do over the next two weeks.

Any advice is would be helpful...and thanks. And, HELLO AGAIN, bp forum. I am glad to see some posts from familiar names still here : )

Hello sorry to hear you're feeling on edge...I TOTALLY relate to this (I'm also in grad school), especially the paralysis. Not being able to do anything AND feeling bad about that fact = very frustrating combination that, at least for me, often leads to total breakdown. Though it's counter-intuitive, really what helps me is to accept I can't do the work in this state of mind - that it's not about will power, take a moment to step back from it to view it within the bigger picture, relax for a few days, try to have some fun (think of them as 'sick days') and hope that my frame of mind will shift enough so that when I return things don't look so hopeless. I definitely do not recommend this for times when you know you just don't really want to do something, and of course some amount of anxiety/rush is healthy in terms of completing tasks and moving on, but when you truly feel you can't bring yourself to do something there is no point in punishing yourself over it - that just makes it worse and drags it even further out of your hands. Your mental state colors everything - so I believe this is where to start. Forget the assignments for a bit, your prof. will understand, especially since you're a hard worker and I'm assuming a good student.

[~Christina]

Well if there is no way to avoid this extra stuff piled on top of your already full plate then the options I see are.....

1. Maybe a AD unless of course you have issues with them and hypo/mania, Hopefully it will work with out side effects hitting you hard. Not sure that's an option since you went med free.

2. Ramp up your coping skills to the Max !

3. Keep a very very strict sleep schedule get up at X time, go to bed at X time and no excuses. Will usually help keep you from hiding under the covers in bed or on the couch.

4. Exercise daily whether you want to or not.. Its only 20 mis, Watch a funny sitcom while jogging in place or dancing like a fool ( my favorite)

5. Go to your local coffee shop with a legal pad and order any coffee, tea or any yummy thing you like and don't leave until your list is done... It's easier to be motivated while sitting there watching people moving around.

Hope this helps a bit.

Glad to see you back around

[Bipolartist]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Keep a very very strict sleep schedule get up at X time, go to bed at X time and no excuses. Will usually help keep you from hiding under the covers in bed or on the couch.

This tip of keeping a schedule is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes, but I also practice all of the things above, except exercise. I think Middlepath should try even 2 of these things.

Also, Middlepath, are you no longer taking meds? I am of the feeling that if it's bad enough, it's still an illness, just not as understood or believed. But I'm sure when diabetes was first discovered, there were skeptics.

I've gone off my meds before and it's awful after a while and I forget meds were even an option. I would talk to a doctor and just see about getting on the lowest possible dose of something just to get over this hump.

[middlepath]

Thanks for the help. Many of the things that were listed I have not tried. I have didn't consider just letting things go for a day and revisiting them later in a better frame of mind. And, Christina, I had totally forgotten about the coping skills, sleep schedule, exercise situation. My self-care has taken a nose-dive. AD's, unfortunately are not an option, one dose and I hit the moon...it's annoying. Lithium works but it makes me fat. Being fat made me feel bad so I had to pick and choose. My choice was to engage in optimal self-care in lieu of meds, but I had totally forgotten about that as I buried myself with a challenging job and grad school. Thank you for helping bring the self-care/coping strategies back to the forefront of my mind. Maybe tomorrow will be better. ---thanks---

[Curious651]

Wish you the best. Think everyone covered it.

[Crazy Hitch]

You've got some really good responses here so mine will be brief.

I'm also type A personality so I go into free fall when things feel out of my control. I like to know what's happening and when and I'm super organized. It would throw me backwards if something I had been working really hard on was suddenly ditched.

I stopped meds for 2 years a while back now, and when my next episode hit, it hit really hard. I had stopped because of the weight gain and I couldn't get the weight off on the meds. Now I've come to realise that my mental well being is more important than anything else and whilst I can get some coping mechanisms in place, I can't do it alone without meds.

Be well.

[LastQuestion]

Chronic stress and sleep deprivation impair neurogenesis in regions of the brain which regulate mood. Research has found those brain regions have deteriorated in individuals who suffer from long-term depression. This is not only mirrored in animal models, it is intentionally used when testing the anti-depressant actions of a substance.

Get regular sleep and exercise (walk everyday for about an hour, and get a good cardiovascular workout which raises heartrate for ~30 minutes at least three times a wek). Sleep and exercise significantly affect brain health. Try to mitigate the stress you experience.

Meditation can help, it's been shown to increase blood flow in the brain, which increases the removal of the toxins (removal of toxins is also an important function of sleep) which build up throughout the day, and also can reduce cortisol levels. Meditation improves cognition on a physiological level. If working on an assignment is increasingly difficult try meditating for awhile to see how helpful it might be.

You may which to consider an AD. Personally I've found L-Theanine to be helpful in managing my overall mood. 200mg three times a day on an empty stomach has been enough for me so far. It's anti-depressant qualities become more pronounced after three weeks of use. It has a half-life of about three hours.

Nutrition helps. Plenty of vegatables, fruits, and nuts (walnuts, almonds, cashews). Try to avoid sugary foods as much as possible. Drink lots of water.

I really can't emphasize sleep enough. Without enough sleep anyone can become depressed, even psychotic.

If you have a coffee habit switch to green tea leaves. The anti-oxidants and l-theanine in green tea mitigate the physiological damage caused by chronic stress. Caffeine and l-theanine have a synergistic effect together, and keeping that in mind may be prudent.

[middlepath]

<<I'm also type A personality so I go into free fall when things feel out of my control. >>>

That is a great description and very much the way I have been feeling the past couple of days. And, you brought up a good point about meds. It's just hard. I will think about what you said...thank you.



<<Chronic stress and sleep deprivation impair neurogenesis in regions of the brain which regulate mood. Research has found those brain regions have deteriorated in individuals who suffer from long-term depression. This is not only mirrored in animal models, it is intentionally used when testing the anti-depressant actions of a substance.>>

I LOVE data...thanks for the research anchor point. I didn't know. I also didn't know that L-theanine acts as an AD. Odd, because I can't take AD's, yet I unknowingly have taken L-theanine before and its effect is a light serenity for me. Again, this is something I had totally forgotten and am so glad you brought up. I am guessing it isn't as similar to AD's as, say, 5 htp, because I cannot take that either. It is bad news, quickly, for me.

It's like once depression starts getting its hooks in me, all logic and previous knowledge seems to fade away. Im busting out the L-theanine immediately. I may try the meditation thing, too. thanks.

[Crazy Hitch]

You're being really proactive middle path. I have confidence that your desire to improve and the motivation that you are displaying are guiding you on the right path.

[LastQuestion]

Originally Posted by middlepath

I LOVE data...thanks for the research anchor point. I didn't know. I also didn't know that L-theanine acts as an AD. Odd, because I can't take AD's, yet I unknowingly have taken L-theanine before and its effect is a light serenity for me. Again, this is something I had totally forgotten and am so glad you brought up. I am guessing it isn't as similar to AD's as, say, 5 htp, because I cannot take that either. It is bad news, quickly, for me.

It's like once depression starts getting its hooks in me, all logic and previous knowledge seems to fade away. Im busting out the L-theanine immediately. I may try the meditation thing, too. thanks.

L-Theanine's anti-depressant qualities are neuroprotective as opposed to how psychotropics try to 'make you feel good'. What it does, in theory (rat/mice models comprise most research), is increase resilience to acute and chronic stress by preserving existing neurons and promoting neurogenesis during times of extreme stress through its neuroprotective actions and attenuation of the stress response. So, instead of having your body flooded with high levels of cortisol for extended durations of time l-theanine can bring it back to something far more reasonable, a baseline.

The chronic administration of L-theanine (2-3x200mg per day for longer than 3wks) can have a use in addressing depression which is as a result of chronic stress, but it isn't going to alter mood in any significant way. It may also offer some neuroprotection from the cell damage caused by mania, perhaps even reduce the severity of a manic episode, or be the thing which enables one to see it coming and take actions to prevent/mitigate the episode, such as using darkness therapy, mediation, flooding the body with anti-oxidants, etc.