[lacerta]

My husband knows about my diagnosis. So does my sister.
I have not told about it to any of my friends. My mother does not know. Sometimes I feel that I should tell about it, as it could explain some of my behaviour or make an excuse when I'm too tired or agitated to meet them. As for friends I'm afraid they would not like to see me much if they knew. For mom - we are not very close, we meet only several times a year. She has her own health issues and extra stress would do no good to her. Probably the relieving on my illness would be more like insult to her, for how little she knows me, how little she has been there for me in hard times etc.
Hard to keep silent and hard not to. Also I fear that they may notice my pills or prescriptions or whatever, which I usually put out of reach and out of sight, but you never know.

[A Red Panda]

It's your choice who you tell and don't tell.

People see us as we behave. If they don't have a label to it, they still SEE the behaviour changes. They just don't know that there's a reason behind it.

Some people it would help out to know and they'd become more understanding. Others would attach stigma to us and use the diagnosis as a weapon/excuse to be cruel. Others it wouldn't make a difference too.

So it's your call! Personally, my friends know. My family does not. (I don't live near my family, but even if I did I would never, ever, tell them.) It's really up to you to tell who you're comfortable with. Your husband knows, and that's really the only one that matters as you live with him and share your whole life together.

[flockpride]

Originally Posted by lacerta

My husband knows about my diagnosis. So does my sister.
I have not told about it to any of my friends. My mother does not know. Sometimes I feel that I should tell about it, as it could explain some of my behaviour or make an excuse when I'm too tired or agitated to meet them. As for friends I'm afraid they would not like to see me much if they knew. For mom - we are not very close, we meet only several times a year. She has her own health issues and extra stress would do no good to her. Probably the relieving on my illness would be more like insult to her, for how little she knows me, how little she has been there for me in hard times etc.
Hard to keep silent and hard not to. Also I fear that they may notice my pills or prescriptions or whatever, which I usually put out of reach and out of sight, but you never know.

I struggle with this. I want people to understand, but sharing a diagnosis can have the opposite effect. People can get stuck on that and see you even less clearly. The diagnosis can add a layer of judgement and bias. If you are tired, that should be enough to explain that you don't want to get together. And it's neutral; everybody gets tired.

I told my mom and it didn't make much of a difference. Like you, i didn't see her often and she had her own health issues. I wished i hadn't bothered.

[tipper1492]

My opinion isn't yours, but now I feel like this. Told two different friends, I never seen them since. I do not tell anyone in public; friends or not. I read on the net most people just do not understand, and if they feel that way, they tend to turn the other way. Sorry I can't recall name of article I read on the net. To this day, it said, there is a stigma about any mental illness. Also people mentally ill, as I am, have enough to deal with as it is. Guess you could search what general public think about mental illness. My mom is gone years ago before I found out I was BP but I would guess she would not receive the news very well. Mon was upper class life style and there can be no blemish on her family. But I know my mom witnessed some of my crazy acts but I can't say for sure what she believed to be wrong with me. I was spoiled through out my life which isn't the right way.

[Darvula]

There is a lot of mental illness in my family, so it wouldn't be such a big deal. Even so (or maybe because of that?) I haven't mentioned it to my family. Odd, because we always talk about my mother's mental illness and my aunt's. I figure we all know each other so well there is no need to put a definite label on the type of crazy we are. I haven't told anyone that I am BP, but I am sure people know I get depressed sometimes and crazy sometimes and furious some times, and if they know that, there is no need for me to label it. I guess I just hate labels because then you feel defined by them. I think it's similar to being gay. I have lots of gay friends and thinking about it, not one of them has made any kind of formal announcement to me - they've just gone straight in there and introduced their boyfriend. Cut to the chase, as it were. Not sure if that makes sense.

[Darvula]

I think the only people it's worth talking to about it is other manic depressives. No one else really understands, so it's kind of pointless.

[tipper1492]

Here is what I read on the internet that hit me the most. Search: UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF STIGMA ON PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.

[Turtlesoup]

I have in common with others here quite a few family members with mental illness-some are high functioning but most are very ill. I always tried to hide my issues from my parents since childhood-my Dad doesn't "believe" in mental illness & my Mom loves to talk about everyone else's except mine. When I blurted out some of mine a few years ago her comment was "I don't need to know about all that"-thanks Mom for being so understanding. This is why I live 3000 miles away from them. I read an article online a few months ago titled "What people with depression really want you to know" & thought about sending it to her-one thing that stood out for me was the comment "I would like to talk with you about my depression the way you talk about having the flu." I do try to slide little things in from time to time but having them understand me is probably not gonna happen. It took me a long time to realize that I am in control of who knows what about my issues. I am happy to have supportive people in my life now & a good tdoc & also this forum-a big hug to all of us that deal with so many difficult things every day along with "regular life".

[Crazy Hitch]

I think it's easier for me because ALL my family live in different continents.

My husband obviously knows. He lives with it and is affected by my mood swings.

I did tell my sister a few years ago. She lives in America. She did tell me a year ago that she had told my mother. I wasn't impressed. I had told her that in confidence.

[HB.Operandi]

Sometimes the question I have is "When will they actually believe me??"

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by HB.Operandi

Sometimes the question I have is "When will they actually believe me??"

Yes, what a horrible situation to be in. Just remember that you know the truth!

[cryingontheinside]

It depends on what you feel comfortable with. I was really afraid to tell my mum but it turned out to be a good thing for me and brought us closer together. She then told me that she, her mum and her had have all experienced mental health issues, something i had not been aware of. I always new there was mental health on my dads side but finding out its on my mums side too made me think wow it prob is not my fault, i was bound to get it. My family understand me better now that they no. They understand that i have real phobias so now they realise that in the past when i was being reclusive or unsociable i wasnt being ignorant i had geniune reasons. So i guess yes she forgives me for all the petty things she had been angry about before.