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pretty-eyes
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Trig Nov 29, 2014 at 01:30 AM
  #1
So my dad is a piece of work alcoholic and I was molested when I was 1...which I obviously don't remember but was told about recently...then there was an incident with a step brother when I was 4 which I will unfortunately never know the full story cause I just know what he says happened and to him it was the greatest experience of his life...and he was only 5. I dated a 26 year old when I was 17...I got hit in the face causing a black eye when I was 17 also by my step dad. Jumped off the roof of my house afterwards. Then ended up in a mental hospital. I was still trying to find the right meds at 19 and the one I was on caused me to be a zombie...Id fall asleep but I'd be able to think and know what was happening but not be able to move...well I babysat one night and got molested by a 15 year old boy. Last year I got raped by someone I trusted. I was pregnant and miscarried. I've had abusive boyfriends and ones that couldn't care less...anyways I was wondering do you think the things that happened in my earlier childhood could cause my mental/emotional issues? Or perhaps I'm more vulnerable to abuse because of my illness? I have type two bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.

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Last edited by FooZe; Nov 29, 2014 at 04:03 AM.. Reason: added trigger icon
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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 07:13 AM
  #2
hi nice lady

well first let me say damn .......like daaaammmmnnnn ....sorry to hear it happen it is not the first time i heard or seen this

what happened in the past and what u sawl as child growing up plus the area / religion and income ........all this had a impact on forming who u are as for what it does to u it all depends on what u learned taken decided to do with it ..........on a good note i know of a lady that was raped by her father for years and sawl him kill her mother then himself bounced around foster care until aged out ( happily married now for 11 years 2 kids ...last i heard she made LT in the army....32 year old now )

on behave of the decent guys sorry u had this stuff happen..........this is what i told my niece (at 13 she looked 22 ) guy does wrong u have the right to bust a ball ....most common is kick them in the nuts...they bend over u knee them in the nose (grab their head and push down hard as bring knee up) push them over run the other way yelling fire (sad fact ppl hear rape they do not do anything because of lots of reason some do most do not .....but fire is in own self protection to do something see where it is.... get out.....there by getting ppl in the area or witness/help ) ............other methods are squeeze it until pops with nails .....then make sure u deck him good in the nose (hitting in the nose will cause eyes to water or kill them with right force but it gives u 10 to 20 secs more to get out of there along with the pain of the busted ball ............i seen what happens when u twist one or pop one the guy will be in to much pain to do anything but cry .....unless on pcp...but that is unlikely )...........rem yell fire not rape

as for guys .............we are morons some of us are true scumbags others are just nice morons .........i am not sure what your age is or your type ...........try smart guys nerds tech geeks ....the shy guy ........a guy that came from big family with sisters or southern baptist mother ......it is going to sound funny but video game /comic geeks (all those darker urges are normally not in those types of ppl )

last thing i can say is i know 6 more ladies with something the same or worst in the background but they are all happy ppl 4 have kiddies of their own 2 of them are younger then 18 one is 7 other is 12 ..........some nightmares now and then ....flash backs .......but one good thing about human mind is with enough time and enough good all bad memories fade to the background where they soon or later fade away.....(still part of u but not in waking mind unless something triggers it but those go away or can be avoided )

no on bi polar.......... yes on anxiety
bi polar is a chemical imbalance in the mind hitting in the teen years to mid 20s
anxiety can be caused by events in life at any point

Last edited by Justugh; Nov 29, 2014 at 07:29 AM..
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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 09:11 AM
  #3
Pretty Eyes, I am so sorry to hear how you've been treated. To answer your question: I've read that trauma can be a catalyst for bipolar in those who have that susceptibility. I'd also say that your history of abuse would also make you more vulnerable to continued abusive relationships, though it's hard to say how much bipolar's impulsivity plays into it. A good professional can help you sort it out.
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Trig Nov 29, 2014 at 09:20 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by licketysplit View Post
Pretty Eyes, I am so sorry to hear how you've been treated. To answer your question: I've read that trauma can be a catalyst for bipolar in those who have that susceptibility. I'd also say that your history of abuse would also make you more vulnerable to continued abusive relationships, though it's hard to say how much bipolar's impulsivity plays into it. A good professional can help you sort it out.
This.

Early life experiences of abuse can be a trigger for mental illness, particularly if you have a genetic predisposition to it. It disrupts a child's sense of security and safety, causes feelings of shame.

I was not sexually molested myself but witnessed rapes and have other issues in my background and know and believe it was a catalyst for my mental health problems.

Take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself. I am sorry to hear you had such a difficult series of abuses. You didn't deserve to be treated that way.

Have you been to any counseling throughout the years?

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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 10:04 AM
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Pretty eyes, I am so sorry to hear of what you have been through. As for your question I agree with the above posts; bipolar is genetic but can be triggered by high stress events. I was sexually abused for years growing up and started having mental health issues at the age of 9 (I self harmed and was suicidal). It is hard finding where the PTSD ends and the Bipolar begins. I'm fairly confident the bipolar started in my teens and PTSD before that. If I hadn't gone through the trauma would I have bipolar? It is impossible to know.

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Default Nov 29, 2014 at 07:15 PM
  #6
Hi prettyeyes

Firstly, I wanted to say I'm really sorry for the circumstances that you've gone through in your life. You've gone through a lot, too much to handle on your own. I hope that you are seeing a therapist to help you deal and process these emotions.

I think that the anxiety could definitely be related to past experiences. Your experiences are significant enough to contribute now to your overall well being, which is why you need careful support to help you manage this. You deserve to get better.

I think research is exploring a number of facets of bipolar, from environmental to genetics etc. I'm not sure there's one specific answer but maybe someone can help us with this one.

I thank you for sharing a bit more about yourself and I look forward to seeing you around on the forum more often. You seem like a really nice person.

Take care of yourself. We're here to support you.
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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 04:07 AM
  #7
My mother had bipolar so I had a genetic predisposition, but my symptoms started because I was in a horrible marriage to an abusive bully. I have a therapist who has been seeing me for two years, starting exactly when I finally broke free (thanks to my friends on this forum!). My therapist has observed me both on Lithium and off Lithium and she says that I have a tendency towards elevated mood, but had I not had such a horrendous trigger, I would not have developed this illness. This is an opinion of somebody who has been seeing me weekly.
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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 08:52 AM
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Sorry you've gone through all that.

The first pdoc who dxd bp said my childhood abuse probably triggered it. I've always wondered if that's true why the stuff the woman did gets to affect me for life. But maybe I was always gonna be this way.
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Default Nov 30, 2014 at 09:10 AM
  #9
I agree with all the member comments... definitely made BP manifest itself even worse.
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