I have delusions of guilt of guilt as part of my bipolar. I feel horrible, no worse than horrible, about things that a normal person would shrug off. It happens when I'm down and I start apologizing because I honestly feel guilty.

I was wondering if anyone else experiences this or anything like it.

[LettinG0]

I feel guilty when I don't feel guilty. I feel guilty after I'm hypo I do impulsive stuff that usually causes financial distress. I feel guilty when I'm down because I don't feel like I'm even human so I'm letting everyone down.

[skdubs]

I feel guilty all the time about everything. And embarrassed. Even when I haven't done anything wrong or embarrassing. I wonder if it is due to my low self esteem. But the guilt thing, that is overwhelming, and constant. I never thought that it might be because of the bipolar.

[Standup2me]

A long time ago I learned that I should only feel guilty if I've done something wrong

What you do is not intentional, so you have not done something wrong.

[middlepath]

I have wondered about guilt is just a natural propensity and when it is a delusion. I don't know what the line is, but I can tell you this. Whenever anything bad happens, I feel like i own part of "it". And then I feel guilty for being a terrible person. Also, I feel guilty for many other things...but not the kind of guilt like "I'm in the wrong" just like "I'm sorry i am such a jerk and you have to be around me" sort of guilt.

I am not sure if how I am wording this makes any sense...it's a very ambiguous feeling to try to describe.

[Love&Toil]

Yes, you are not alone. I feel it too.

[hamster-bamster]

A schizophrenic girl I knew on a locked unit would say that she was terribly sorry for hitting my car on a highway. That was clearly a delusion. She was all in tears and it was horribly painful to watch it and not be able to explain to her that she was not guilty.

I would say that that was a clear delusion of guilt, no questions asked.

What you are reporting might be depressive rumination rather than a delusion of guilt. I have been through depressive rumination and have observed many other people ruminating as well, in RL and in writing online, and had you not written about apologizing, I would be leaning towards "depressive rumination" and not a delusion of guilt. But you take it a bit further - you do not just marinate yourself in the feelings of worthlessness, regret, baseless remorse and baseless culpability, you act on them in that you apologize. I think it is one step towards a delusion of guilt. Plus, depressive rumination usually involves generalized guilt ("I am a terrible person", "I do not deserve a good life", etc.). You feel guilt at a level that is specific enough for you to apologize to others. This is not quite like that schizophrenic girl who thought that she hit my car on a highway and had to apologize, but... it is towards that end of the spectrum.

Hard to say. As has been noted above, the line is so hard to draw.

[Crazy Hitch]

I tend to feel this way when I'm going through a really bad depressive episode.

I generally have this guilty thing following me around but it's exacurbated during an episode.

[Love&Toil]

Hammy that was an insightful post.

[~Christina]

Guilt is in my opinion one of the "fun added benefits" of Bipolar.

Why the guilt? Well at lot of it comes with the fact BP folks tend to beat themselves up harder than people who do not have it. Bp's are masters of often making things harder than they need to.. I know I am very guilty at times. Altho I have learned to slash all that mess of lies by a huge amount.

Say If my husband forgets to do X Y and Z .. yeah he is like "whelp Im stupid and can't remember things at times, he moves along does XYZ and hes past it and on to his next thing.

Me . "Omg I am beyond stupid how dare I forget things like this and can and will remind myself hourly if not by the minute" Talk about taking a self inflicted flogging for no need.

I don't suffer as much anymore, Few years ago a person here on PC told me to write down on slips of paper when I forget something or some other thing in my mind, life altering event (never was life altering in reality)

Writte it physically down by hand , lifts the pressure and when you have as many written down as your being bothered by, toss them in a jar , walk outside and light a match.. papers turn to ashes. Ashes blow away with the wind.

Just a thought.

[MattBemis]

I can relate to that. I'm a very empathetic person so I take the world's problems and shoulder them. I've learned to just try and talk myself out of the guilt and look at the situation logically. You can't cause amother person distress, their distress is their's to deal with. You can't take on other people's problems especially when you're going through sone thing like bipolar for yourself.

[rumishams]

i have so much guilt about so many things, mainly to do with suicides of friends and my parenting mistakes.

working on it though and becoming more aware of how futile it is.
at the same time, i don't want to beat myself up for it, because that becomes another negative feedback loop/shame spiral which is incredibly painful.

the idea of burning things is a great one and i hope i remember to try that sometime.