[brokenandalone1234]

About a month ago my fiancé started playing yugioh with his friends. For those of you who don't know what that is its a trading card game. We always used to play Magic the gathering together another trading card game. Years ago I played Yugioh and gave it up after playing 4 years and never winning. Well every time his friends come over to play I fly into a jealous rage and try to ruin it for him. He is playing yugioh with one of his friends now and I went into our living room to grab a cigarette and he calls me into the dining room we live in a one bedroom apartment so they are right next to each other. He showed me a deck he had made for me but I told him I don't want to play this stupid game it took you away from me. Then as I was heading back into the bedroom I said anyone can play yugioh it takes a real man to play Magic and stormed into the bedroom. I don't understand this jealous rage I get when he plays yugioh with his friends. Can someone anyone help me to understand this rage and jealousy I feel towards this game. I hate being this way.

[kultking]

Oh I get the same way when my husband watches shows I don't really like...I end up getting nasty with him, lashing out at him & saying some hurtful things...like you said, I think it's us thinking that certain things take them away from us...I feel like I need constant attention from him, do you feel the same with your fiancé?

[wildflowerchild25]

Does he spends an inordinate amount of time playing? Because otherwise you need to look at the situation and try to decide if it's worth getting so upset about. I understand the jealousy thing bc my husband used to be in a band and I used to get so upset when he was at a show bc he would be gone for hours! And at practice all the time. I hated the shows because he played death metal and I hate death metal. So it was either go and be miserable at a show or stay home and be lonely. BUT I siad to myself that it's what he likes to do and I don't want to stand in the way of that. I didn't want to be the jealous girlfriend who makes her boyfriend quit something he loves.

My point is I totally get where you're coming from but you need to take a deep breath and think about his feelings. Maybe find something to do with your Time while he's playing. If you can come up with your own hobby you won't focus as much on what he's doing.

[brokenandalone1234]

I do feel that way. I have been hurt by a lot of guys in my life. My fiancé is the first guy who hasn't used me, cheated on me, or hit me. He is my soul mate. I am just afraid of him not paying attention to me because that to me means something is wrong.

[brokenandalone1234]

See I have another problem I am border line on having Social Anxiety Disorder so I tend to stay to myself. My fiancé is a very social person so he has a large group of friends. I always base most of my Hobbies around him because leaving my house alone without him when he is home is a fight with my anxiety

[Alone & confused]

Could it BE a bipolar thing? I went COMPLETELY MENTAL over my bf getting a facebook account once! I mean seriously? I'm not even kidding. I wanted to physically hurt him over it! I don't get some of the things that make me jealous either. I've often wondered if it was me, or if the MI had anything to do with it.

[Victoria'smom]

Magic at least has interesting art. Do you feel he should have "grown out of it" like you did? Is it the money spent on it? or is it literally just the time he's hanging out with his friend that your jealous of?

[brokenandalone1234]

I tell him all the time to quit yugioh and go back to playing Magic with me. I never really out grew yugioh I just quit playing for the simple fact that I could never win. At least when I play Magic I beat almost everybody I play. He only buys 3 packs of cards a week which isn't a lot. I don't know why I get like this.

[Justugh]

magic is easy
load the deck with white cards and red cards
wrath of god
Armageddon
then with artifacts they are not land so u have mana

but u answered your ? u feel like pulling away from u since not a game u play with him ....but he did make a deck for u to get into the game with him

if u are not going to play with him .........then be honest with him so he knows whats up (when ladies are mad at us we have no idea what we did and if we say the wrong thing it makes it worst so alot of times we will do nice things to say sorry with out addressing the iusse because we do not know what it is ) that way u guys can talk about it and help make it ok for u

rem we are idiots u ladies are mad we have no idea why and are running all the things we could of possibly done wrong as kids we learn to shut up at those times so we do not tell on our self for something we did and u might not know about ..smile and nod until u tell us what we did

most of the time if i hear a lady yell my name and i can detect anger in it my first thing i say what did i do

[Blitter2014]

I can only summize based on what you have written, but I think I can relate.....

My wife is a very gregarious and social person. She easily makes friends and can talk to just about anyone about anything. Because I am exactly the opposite, not being able to make friends easily, not being able to talk or carry a conversation, I tend to live my social life through my wife. I rely on her to carry me when we are amongst friends. It makes me mad and frustrated with myself that I cannot be like her, and that frustration can lead to jealousy, because it makes me realize how much I rely on her. It also shows me how seemingly easy I could be replaced, leading to feelings of insecurity.

Jealousy is all about trust, or a lack there off. Try talking to your partner about it, explaining the feelings you experience and how he could help you overcome them by the way he acts and interacts when he is around other people. By explaining and getting him on side with you, you are facing this together and it will draw you together, rather than pulling you apart.

[Becoming]

I can relate to this in a way. With my ex, I was very jealous of her best friend and even her dogs because she would always spend more time with them than me. So I got to the point I was literally begging for "two seconds" of her attention instead of just well-no way to sugar coat it- breaking up with her. She wouldn't even say "good morning" or "good night" and if I asked her why she would be all "I was super busy." So I think part of that was she was just a crappy girlfriend, but also it was probably silly of me to feel so jealous of her dogs and best friend (in fact sometimes I still feel jealous they have contact with her now and I do not).

[brokenandalone1234]

Originally Posted by Blitter2014

I can only summize based on what you have written, but I think I can relate.....

My wife is a very gregarious and social person. She easily makes friends and can talk to just about anyone about anything. Because I am exactly the opposite, not being able to make friends easily, not being able to talk or carry a conversation, I tend to live my social life through my wife. I rely on her to carry me when we are amongst friends. It makes me mad and frustrated with myself that I cannot be like her, and that frustration can lead to jealousy, because it makes me realize how much I rely on her. It also shows me how seemingly easy I could be replaced, leading to feelings of insecurity.

Jealousy is all about trust, or a lack there off. Try talking to your partner about it, explaining the feelings you experience and how he could help you overcome them by the way he acts and interacts when he is around other people. By explaining and getting him on side with you, you are facing this together and it will draw you together, rather than pulling you apart.

I am so glad someone else does the same thing. My other problem is I am a very serious person and my fiancé and his friends like to goof off and have a lot of fun. Which sometimes gets on my last nerves. I had my childhood stolen from me when I was a kid for reasons I will not discuss but now it's like since I didn't get much of a childhood I feel ashamed when I cut loose and have fun because to me those are things children do not Adults

[faerie_moon_x]

My husband and I had a similar issue when he started streaming in 2011. If you don't know, streaming is playing video games on a live video stream.

Things didn't go so well. But at the time he was spending 16+ hours per day on this. My involvement was grudging accepted. And basically it was like he became a different person. I was also pregnant at the time.

My mental health went into a downward spiral. And I had jealous rages much as you describe. Now the thing is, me and my husband are gamers and he'd always had games he played without me and all was well. So, this situation was confusing and highly emotional.

In the end my husband started to say I was controlling and didn't care about his happiness. That isn't true. I said he abandoned me and our kids for strangers. Even once the streaming stopped I still would go into jealous rages when he spent time with friends.

After 3 years if discussing these issues and doing hard work on ourselves, things are so much better. I no longer go into jealous rages (although I do sometimes feel left out, but I handle it,) and I know he deserves to have friends and it is good for our relationship. He also knows he can't just shut me out and stop spending time with me. Our relationship is stronger but it was almost destroyed at one point.

[Aenigmatica Persona]

What if you were able to rekindle an interest in his game and ask him to rekindle an interest in yours? Even if you two do not fully enjoy the others game, maybe the effort between both will bring something new? The key would be to moderate each in a healthy manner. set time slots, or certain days. Involve his friends even. As for the being able to win part, maybe that will change, and if not, you still get to enjoy the time with him. Then kick his/their butts in magic.