[wiretwister]

how do you let something completely go..? During the summer I made a decision and bought a "white elephant" to help a friend out... spent a lot of money repairing and trying to make it right...{its a truck},it served its purpose but its not right,, I have thrown money at three different shops, still not right... I have let this stress me more than the cash it's worth,, I have accepted it as a loss and that I will never be able to sell it,, at least I tell myself that,, I just do not know how to let it go.,logically I know this but my gut just will not let it go...I don't think this is a bp thing but it is eating me alive,,I have been this way my whole life just not being able to put things behind me and move on,,..please someone share with me how to just let things go.....I hoped by writing this down and venting it would help. Sorry it's not what your used to reading..

[BlackSheep79]

I have the exact same problem as you with letting go. I dwell on things for years. I just recently posted a forum about issues with my mother, I just can't let go of the wrong that was done to me. It takes over our life and consumes us, it's unnecessary stress, and we know it is. I've tried thru therapy thru the years and I still haven't figured it out. It makes me miserable, and I don't want to be, I want to live a happy life. I hope someone can offer some advice because I also need help with this.

[Victoria'smom]

Some times it takes my feelings a long time to catch up to logic.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by wiretwister

.I hoped by writing this down and venting it would help. Sorry it's not what your used to reading..

Oh, we are used to reading (and writing) pretty much everything.

No worries.

So - you wrote it down hoping that it would help. Now you can assess whether it did. If it did, writing more about it would help further (a detailed writing, which may or may not be a post).

[Blitter2014]

I don't think I've managed to forgive myself for so many things, usually done during a manic phase. Ruminating is worst when I'm depressed.

Logic helps, like using a catastrophe scale (rate the event between 1-100, where 1 is doesn't matter and 100 is death), but its hard to do logic when your feeling like poop.

Destraction is probably the most effective tool I use. That and avoiding triggers that leads to the rumination starting.

[Crazy Hitch]

You have a kind soul.

You helped a friend in need.

Personally I think you would be better off not dwelling too much on the past.

What's done is done.

You need to put in safety measures in the future so that you don't land up in this type of situation again.

Think about what your limits are.

At what point do you say no?

You can't change what's happened but you can stop the cycle from repeating itself again.

I wish you healing.

I worry over big decisions as well. The way you put it, that it is "eating you alive" is very apt. I only find time helpful. After a while, i am able to accept my decisions and they don't seem to matter as much. Resisting making any big decisions is helpful, too.

[wiretwister]

thank you all,,,letting it out seems to have helped some..