[ombrétwilight]

I just saw new T for the second time today and we were discussing my future psychiatric evaluation. She told me that people with bipolar need to be medicated and I was sceptical, so I asked her why and she said it's because relapses tend to get more frequent and twice as bad each time they occur. Is that true? I have never heard of this and was under the impression that a healthy dose of talk therapy is possible to manage symptoms, unless it's the batshit crazy of mania (in which case I agree that meds are needed).

[touched by fire]

Do I have too? My mood stabilizer (lamictal) has been a huge help. I made it until I was 35 and then the SHTF. I self medicated half those years away trying to *handle* it on my own... Lots of pain, agony, ruined relationships and outright reckless behavior. Wish I could have some of those years back... so I guess the answer to your question for me is, yes.

[Tucson]

I am BP II. My depressions can be bad. I can go from mania to crashing into depression. My mania also can be difficult to manage without meds. But the ral problem with me is swings into depression.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Christina has great advice for this

[Trippin2.0]

I don't HAVE to be medicated, and my T agrees.


I was medicated for a while, hated it, made my symptoms worse, and in the end, it made me stupid too.

Planet Stupid is a horrifying place, I could never live there full time and never ever indefinitely.

It's one of theeeee most depressing things I've ever experienced. And I've been through some rough shyt.


"Relapses"...this word makes no sense to me with regards to Bipolar... An episode is not a drug, and being medicated to your eyeballs won't even guarantee you are symptom free, so what are these relapses professionals and patients keep harping on and on about?

You cycle either way, so where's the opportunity to relapse...

Remission is very rare, but not unheard of, I myself have experienced it, but recovery is an urban legend. And if there's no recovery, what is there to relapse from...


Sorry, just wondering out loud...


Anyway, unless I'm batshit crazy and COMPLETELY out of touch with reality, I will not be ingesting anymore daily anti-crazy pills.


I'm not opposed to a calming agent during acute episodes, but daily management is no longer an option.


To med or not to med, that is a very individual question. Depends on the person, their brand of bipolar, their coping skills, their support system... Many variables to take into consideration, and a very personal choice at that.


Ultimately, its your choice, whether you want to try meds or not. Unless you live in one of the few places where you legally don't have a say in your treatment.

[tipper1492]

YES! I also had more problems, even I was not aware of, until at the age of 62, I found out, from my psychiatrist I was BP. My wife could tell years earlier, maybe many years. Now with my medications, my life is so much better for me, and people close to me. I would dwell so many hours on something over and over. I could be unpleasant to be around. I spent too much money in a hurry. And there must be other things I have not listed here.

[Wander]

As for me, I need to be medicated. At least for now. I get into horrible mixed stars that put me in danger. The meds (esp Lithium) have helped reduce the length, frequency and intensity of my episodes.

[wildflowerchild25]

For me, the depressions get so severe that I end up hurting myself.
That's not acceptable. Not only that, I also tend to get psychotic features like paranoia or hearing voices. So I've HAD to be on medication. Right now I'm on the least amount bc I've been going to ECT. That will continue on for at least another month. It's hard for me to accept taking all these medications though, especially when I feel like they don't work.

[HALLIEBETH87]

For me....I need help cause I barely cope with them! It's getting better. I think lithium helps

[Crazy Hitch]

I've been medicated (currently am).

And I've gone through phases out of voice, or denial, where I've been unmediated.

Being medicated does not mean I am symptom free. It can somewhat just cushion the blow.

When I had episodes where I was unmediated- they were the worst and hit the hardest.

I just know I am not one that is able to be unmedicated with this disorder.

[Crazy Hitch]

*out of choice

(Autocorrect!)

[BipolaRNurse]

Ohhh, yeah, I certainly do need to be medicated, and with multiple drugs (as you can see in my signature). Even so, I have breakthrough episodes, the most recent of which put me in the hospital, but I have fewer of them and they don't last for months like they used to. I also do not have raging, screaming fits anymore and I'm pretty mellow for the most part. That alone makes it worth putting up with the side effects, which aren't so serious that they're a deal breaker.

[Polar Pixie]

No not a NEED for medication. But its advised.
I fought my doctors for years on the matter. I didn't want to be drugged and be dependent on these things. But I know from experience, the episodes and cycles will get stronger, more frequent and/or stronger impact on myself and others.
There's plenty of coping mechanisms to learn out there to help, and learn and cope with any type of mental illnesses. But speaking personally, Bipolar is one that I myself recommend at least giving medications a try.
I hate my medication bottle everytime I pull it out of the cupboard and contemplate throwing it on the floor and dancing the Mariachi on it, but I know how I am when I wasn't on them. The power that drives me to take them is for my loved ones around me. I rather try and deal with the medications so I can be a "better" loving person in their lives. To me they are worth it.
Also after my 8 years of talk therapy, it can only go so far and do so much. Talk therapy cannot change brain chemicals that bipolar effects

250 Mg Lamictal
30 Mg Aderall
50mg Vistaril
multiple vitamins and supplements

[Turtlesoup]

Hi Ombre'-I've gone through long periods of my life when I didn't even know what was going on with me-I was in a very unhappy relationship with much financial distress-the first time I heard of OCD I couldn't believe that it was not just "all in my head" then I began to learn more about depression, mood disorders & anxiety.I still thought I could control it so I never sought treatment until a few years ago. So then I went through what I like to call Mr. Toad's Wild Ride trying to find the right combo of things that could help me. I have been both on & off meds with varying degrees of success & failure. I have recently come to a point where I need help from outside sources. I see an individual tdoc weekly & pdoc about every 3-4 weeks. It's frustrating at times but I have come to the realization that I'm probably going to be on some meds for the rest of my life-but i'm beginning to be ok with that. I use a variety of complimentary practices, coping strategies & exercise & maintain a very health diet. Take care & continue to reach out on this forum-it's reassuring for me to be able to touch base with others that really do get what i'm going through.

[venusss]

No. You don't have to. Could it make life easier? Sure.


And as for all the kindling theories... some people seem to relapse despite multidrug coctail. Does it mean they just "kindled" a bit? So they get a third AP thrown on or max dose on one of their meds... and what next? What happens when they relapse next time? Even more drugs?

This is choice that is up to everybody, but yes, it is a choice. There are good choices and bad choices, but sometimes it is hard to tell which is it.

[LDB1]

If I wish to continue to live, yeah, I need to be medicated. I spent most of my life fighting this by myself while not even realizing I was involved in a fight. Over the years the depression became more debilitating and my behavior during the mania's became more bizarre until it was apparent that I would either do myself a lot of harm on purpose while depressed, or unintentionally by doing something dangerous and stupid during a high.

So, yes, absolutely yes I need meds. I don't ever wanna be in the place I was at the beginning of this year ever again.

[faerie_moon_x]

Do you have to be? I guess that depends on how everything goes for you. Bipolar is different for everyone. I'm not medicated. I've been medicated in spurts, never more than 3 months at a time, for maybe a total of one year if you put them all together.

Lithium blunts my emotions. I'm allergic to lamictle and abilify. That's what I've learned on the meds I've taken.

For me, it's about self-awareness and hard work to stay stable. It's about honesty with myself and others when I'm ramping up or crashing down too far. It's about pushing myself and not giving up or giving in to my own brain. It's not easy, no.

My T says I'm the only person she's ever seen work as hard as I do to work with my bipolar to stay healthy. She said I'm the first person in 20 years of practice to come in with mood tracker filled out for her. And therapy helps me a lot even though I can't go all the time. She understands that and helps me as best she can.

The thing is, you have to be honest for yourself. This works for me. But it might not work for anyone else. But even if you're on meds it's your own journey and everyone's journey is different. The thing we're looking for is wellness and being able to function and live our lives as best we can. As long as that's what you get, it doesn't matter how you got there.

[ombrétwilight]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

"Relapses"...this word makes no sense to me with regards to Bipolar... An episode is not a drug, and being medicated to your eyeballs won't even guarantee you are symptom free, so what are these relapses professionals and patients keep harping on and on about?

You cycle either way, so where's the opportunity to relapse...

Remission is very rare, but not unheard of, I myself have experienced it, but recovery is an urban legend. And if there's no recovery, what is there to relapse from...

I agree with you but I think my T meant relapse as in those "unstable" moods as opposed to the more "stable/normal" ones. She drew out a timeline marked by ages and the points where I've been depressed/hypomanic and said the intervals between these will get shorter (and it did) and more intense (also did). Of course, you're right that bipolar is never in remission, because those "normal" periods are no indication of recovery, just an interlude between the SHTFs...

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

For me, the depressions get so severe that I end up hurting myself.
That's not acceptable. Not only that, I also tend to get psychotic features like paranoia or hearing voices. So I've HAD to be on medication. Right now I'm on the least amount bc I've been going to ECT. That will continue on for at least another month. It's hard for me to accept taking all these medications though, especially when I feel like they don't work.

I do not have bipolar I but I did have some psychotic features (which I believe are not a result of bipolar, unless it was psychotic depression but I can't be sure). My depressions are also hell and they're almost always suicidal. I am considering meds only for this reason because my depressions are a huge interference to my life.

Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x

Lithium blunts my emotions. I'm allergic to lamictle and abilify. That's what I've learned on the meds I've taken.

For me, it's about self-awareness and hard work to stay stable. It's about honesty with myself and others when I'm ramping up or crashing down too far. It's about pushing myself and not giving up or giving in to my own brain. It's not easy, no.

My T says I'm the only person she's ever seen work as hard as I do to work with my bipolar to stay healthy. She said I'm the first person in 20 years of practice to come in with mood tracker filled out for her. And therapy helps me a lot even though I can't go all the time. She understands that and helps me as best she can.

The thing is, you have to be honest for yourself. This works for me. But it might not work for anyone else. But even if you're on meds it's your own journey and everyone's journey is different. The thing we're looking for is wellness and being able to function and live our lives as best we can. As long as that's what you get, it doesn't matter how you got there.

That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I've read a lot of horror stories about how antipsychotics are prescribed like candy nowadays when they used to be reserved for the people totally out of their minds, and how ex-patients on these psychiatric meds are so glad they kicked them etc. I guess my main concern are the side effects especially weight gain (which sounds totally immature but I have body image issues so this is a problem for me). There's also the added stress of finances because I'm in a bad place money-wise ATM.

I think you're very admirable for putting in so much work. It must take a lot of effort to chart your mood and all that (at least for me) and self-consciousness is so important in staying healthy. I do have trouble being honest with myself and I never spot the insidious fact that I'm on a down/upward spiral until I'm halfway to rock bottom/the sky.

[~Christina]

Med or med free .. The question of the century

I have fallen down many a rabbit hole to the "Merry med Tilt O whirl " been there see that and burned the shirt.

I could type how I agree with all that , Trippin , Venus and Faeire already expressed, because I do.

End decision was that I was having episodes being on meds or not, change of meds or ups in doseage ... I charted my moods .. and it just proved to me that I do not need to take meds 24/7 because I am still going to cycle. So? I refused to ingest chemicals daily.

I'm anorexic , so taking an AP that will pile on the pounds is not going to help me anyway, I dont need nor want Diabetes from increased blood sugar or more wear and tear on my body due to weight on my joints. I have Chronic pain from Fibro daily that is more than enough to try and handle.

Pdoc and I decided to give it a whirl med free. I have a huge tool box of coping skills built up over the last 4 years that I know when and how to use them ,

Med free you have to have Alot of self awareness , to catch the first warning signs that some mood is coming on. That takes time to learn.

I have my husband, my daughter and my great friends I met here to lean on when I am having a rough go of it... I surf the waves and hang on like hell when I just have to get from minute to minute.

My Pdoc and I did agree that if I get to the point where I haven't slept in more than 6 days and /or if I become psychotic and losing touch I am willing to hop on a AP for a week or so, to avoid an IP trip.

All of this..... is MY thoughts and how I choose to live my life with Bipolar in it. I know lots of people that take meds daily and they are doing wonderful... It's just a personal choice.

I just advise people to be there own best advocate. Don't settle...

[prepsychmel]

I think it's a choice whether you decide to become medicated or not. But, I choose to take medicine to help with my bipolar. It just helps me deal with the highs, lows, and anxiety that goes along with the disorder. It helps me live a more "normal" life.

[HopeForChange]

I think it's very individual, but I have been slowly coming off my meds and am doing well so far. I do become symptomatic at times, but changing my diet, exercising more, and maintaining a regular schedule have helped a lot. As others have said, if I become acutely ill, I will take meds--but I don't wish to endure the side effects of long-term med use any longer. I have gained a huge amount of weight on antipsychotics, which is frustrating--but as a grad student, the idea of brain atrophy bothers me even more. Luckily, I have a great psychiatrist who understands my desire to reduce the meds. She says that even type-2 diabetics can sometimes come off meds with lifestyle changes--so she doesn't see why it wouldn't be the same with mental illness.

Just my experience--take it for what it's worth

Best,
Hope

[Disorder7]

I think it depends on the person. Some people are high functioning, and they can get by with lifestyle changes.

On the other hand, I have high anxiety, I'm prone to violence, and just experienced my first hallucination last week. I need meds, and I need an AP, not to help me sleep but to control hallucinations.
I'm on Abilify and have to get my blood sugar checked regularly and exercise because it can cause weight gain.

But I resent people telling me what's good for me. When they start seeing imaginary trucks taking chickens to slaughter, then they can tell me what I need. Until then, I'm working with my pdoc and big pharma.

[Victoria'smom]

The bottom line with medication is are they more helpful or harmful in the way you relate to others? The goal of medication (for me) is generally make you less intense so therapy can help you. It sounds like you're looking for a CBT therapist.

I am heavily medicated at the moment but I do not intend to be forever. My two pdocs both know we are aiming to be med free. The meds are just helping the therapy take effect and help me slowly learn how to control my swings into depression and mixed episodes before they get out of control. I've also had some hormonal issues this year that required psychiatric medication, but that seems to be sorted now so I will try to decrease the AP. I dont expect to be completely off meds a for a while yet, but I will use them as a tool to help me continue to live a relatively stable life while chipping away at finding stablility med free.

[Trippin2.0]

Hallucinations are a huge deciding factor for most as this is typically used as an indicator for severity, and can be quite disturbing.


I've never realllllly been bothered by mine, they're a hindrance yes, but do they interfere with my actual functioning? No.


Guess I don't mind smelling rotting cadavers, seeing shyt, hearing people screaming obscenities at me, hearing entire conversations, blow by blow commentary, or having bugs crawl all over me.


Well I do mind, I just don't mind enough to want a daily AP.


Besides, believing I was Odin's daughter was actually quite fun.