[BipolaRNurse]

Well, I got the shock of my life today.....my pdoc, who once told me he'd never sign off on a disability claim because I was perfectly capable of working, actually brought it up. He doesn't want me to give up trying to find a job I can handle, but he also said for the first time that work may be too stressful for me. And he knows nursing is off the table, except for jobs like an advice nurse or reviewing insurance claims---I need something that's more "behind the scenes".

Of course, now I have all sorts of questions for those of you who are on SSDI. I have both mental and physical disabilities; does that make my case more compelling, or should I just file because of my bipolar and anxiety? How long did it take you to get a hearing? Did you have to see their doctors, and who pays for that? How hard did you have to fight to get it (e.g. how many times were you denied)? And how much are the typical benefits?

I don't know for sure that I'm going to even file.....it feels like I'm giving up if I do that. All I know is that I can't go back to nursing, and I'm too old, fat, and out of shape to do things like retail or manufacturing. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.

[InsideBlackBox]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Well, I got the shock of my life today.....my pdoc, who once told me he'd never sign off on a disability claim because I was perfectly capable of working, actually brought it up. He doesn't want me to give up trying to find a job I can handle, but he also said for the first time that work may be too stressful for me. And he knows nursing is off the table, except for jobs like an advice nurse or reviewing insurance claims---I need something that's more "behind the scenes".

Of course, now I have all sorts of questions for those of you who are on SSDI. I have both mental and physical disabilities; does that make my case more compelling, or should I just file because of my bipolar and anxiety? How long did it take you to get a hearing? Did you have to see their doctors, and who pays for that? How hard did you have to fight to get it (e.g. how many times were you denied)? And how much are the typical benefits?

I don't know for sure that I'm going to even file.....it feels like I'm giving up if I do that. All I know is that I can't go back to nursing, and I'm too old, fat, and out of shape to do things like retail or manufacturing. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.

I see your post has been a few years ago. I hope you have moved forward with applying for SSI. I am a Disabled RN after a 3 year fight and obtaining an attorney who got a court date for me. The judge deemed me immediately and even followed up by saying I should've been awarded after my first try. It wasn't my Bipolar Type 1 that awarded my SS but, my back problems that allowed me the support. I was denied twice. I had to see their psychologist the first time. My PCP was no help at all but, my psychiatrist and pain MD did.
I hope this helps.

[Moose72]

Im the same as you but nobodys suggested i go for disability. Shrug

[lilypup]

Of course, now I have all sorts of questions for those of you who are on SSDI. I have both mental and physical disabilities; does that make my case more compelling, or should I just file because of my bipolar and anxiety? How long did it take you to get a hearing? Did you have to see their doctors, and who pays for that? How hard did you have to fight to get it (e.g. how many times were you denied)? And how much are the typical benefits?

Am on SSDI. Will try to answer your questions. You may find more information in the insurance and finances forums. I only filed based on mental dx, I do not have physical disabilities. I did not get a "hearing". We filled out and submitted (with the help of an attorney) a bunch of forms. The attorney really emphasized that we needed thorough and full reports from my pdoc and T. Apparently, your length of illness and the doctor history you have is very important. For example, I have seen my pdoc for 26 years so he has a lengthy history for me. My T is relatively new, but she still had to do forms. The docs do not like to fill out these forms, so we made appts for the purpose of filling out the forms. My husband went in and helped the doc fill out such things as my ability for self care, etc. I had to have an interview with a SSDI psychologist. This did not cost me anything. I had my interview on a Friday and was called on Monday to say I had been approved. I was approved my first time..took about three months. I was paid retroactively to the date I filed. I get $900 per month. I also get private disability so there has been some jiggling of benefits so I don't get an unfair amount (whatever that is!)
I think one thing that helped me in the interview was my psychosis. I told the lady I did not want to start seeing things in front of third graders.
I hope this helped.

[HALLIEBETH87]

All of those questions...everybody is different.

I was denied once and won on my appeal with a disability lawyer who works andonly gets paid if you win-they take it out of what you win. As for the monthly amount....I haven't a clue about others but mine is a thousand a month. I have a lot of bills and medical debt from psych inpatient so it doesn't go too far....

I did have to see a Dr they sent me to. They pay for it and will even reimburse your gas. He was really dumb. I saw him then was denied. Then I did the appeal. I applied for bipolar, bpd, panic disorder and ptsd. I have medical records since 2004 but hey....a woman I know just got approved and she didn't have half of the records I do. I didn't have to go to a hearing but she did. Its just different for everyone!

It took me a year.

[jesusplay]

go to SSA site, it will knock out a lot of your questions.

[Victoria'smom]

I know how hard you've tried to stay away from this but if it's something that will help for now. It doesn't mean it's forever.

[thickntired]

Ever since I joined this site I've wondered how you kept it together with a demanding job. I'm going to get back to you on my ssdi journey.

[Nammu]

My SSDI was initiated by my Pdoc and was awarded the first time. Both my Pdoc and PCP were behind it. I think when your doctors start it off it goes more smoothly. Even if you are awarded SSDI you can look for non stressful part time work, there's rules but it is easier o look for part time work now than it used to be.

[saxile]

When I was put on disability it was back in 99 and I did have to see their doctors, when my wife first filed she was denied about 4 times then she was hospitalized against her will and they approved her after 2 more tries. She didn't have to see their doctors however she was seeing the county mental health department and they had to send their records for review.

She's been on it three years now and is currently under review though, so if they see she has improved enough for their taste they will take it away from her, her psych and therapist are both trying to keep her on it for at least a little longer as they don't feel she's improved enough.

[Love&Toil]

Good luck BipolaRNurse

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by thickntired

Ever since I joined this site I've wondered how you kept it together with a demanding job.

I didn't. That's why I had three different jobs within a year. I fell to pieces at my executive-level job during a time of crisis, and after I returned from a three-week medical leave of absence, I was let go because I couldn't do the job without accommodations, which my employer said were "unreasonable". I've left other jobs for the same reasons, some of which I quit, and a couple of others I was fired from.

I keep trying and fighting, and I get knocked down every time. And every time I fall, it takes yet another bite out of me. I'm getting tired.

[Tucson]

I was fired from my last job. I was dxed soon after with Bipolar 1. I took on another job but that did not work out due to my illness. I then filed for SSDI. By this time, I was dxed by three separate doctors in two different states. I was turned down the first time. I still ended up receiving SSI. I then went to a lawyer who went through some kind of back channel to the judge. The judge was assigned my appeal. The letter that awarded me disability came shortly afterwards without going through an actual appeal. I have never been reevaluated by SSDI for over 15 years now. I do get my pdoc visits and medicine for free. Fortunately, my mother is paying the bills for the house that she had to deed to me in order for her to qualify for Medicaid.

I think my acceptance was due to my three well-documented diagnoses. My previous hospitalization also helped. And I had a good lawyer who did what every good lawyer does: work behind the scenes to get the desired result before the actual court appearance. My current doctor will continue to assert my inability to cope as long as I feel I am not ready to get off of disability. Remember, you cannot be able to hold down the most menial work, like pushing a broom, to qualify.

I now find that I can work part time and still retain benefits. So that is now what I want to do. I receive $1500 per month from SSDI. I can make about $720 per month on a part time job. I still have to take care of my daughter, and my mother who has Alzheimer's and cannot take care of herself anymore. So life will be interesting for me.

I hope this will work for you as well as it has for me. But my anticipation of a job threw me into an rough episode of depression. Earlier this year I went through the worst mixed episode I had in my life. So all is still not well for me.

PS: I am receiving only 30% of what I used to get as a software engineer. This was quite a step down from my previous lifestyle. And I now have no money in the bank, even for retirement.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I know how hard you've tried to stay away from this but if it's something that will help for now. It doesn't mean it's forever.

^^^ Good point.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by sidestepper

My SSDI was initiated by my Pdoc and was awarded the first time. Both my Pdoc and PCP were behind it. I think when your doctors start it off it goes more smoothly. Even if you are awarded SSDI you can look for non stressful part time work, there's rules but it is easier o look for part time work now than it used to be.

***From my research this is a huge RISK, unless you want to go back to work on a permanent basis. SS doesn't want anyone on disability and looks for reasons to remove people from disability. Any work at any hour, level of difficulty, or even volunteer is an indicator that a person is no longer disabled. There are some cases like if a person is blind where this probably wouldn't pertain. Mental Health disability cases are the hardest to prove and the easiest to lose.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by sidestepper

My SSDI was initiated by my Pdoc and was awarded the first time. Both my Pdoc and PCP were behind it. I think when your doctors start it off it goes more smoothly. Even if you are awarded SSDI you can look for non stressful part time work, there's rules but it is easier o look for part time work now than it used to be.

*** I posted this already, but it is extremely difficult to work PT and not get kicked off disability. If you are able to hold down a job then you are no longer disabled.

[thickntired]

Hi BipolarRN,

First, obviously you're the only one who can make this decision. SSDI can be a hard life change. I went from 90 to nothing and am still figuring out my purpose in life. The last time I worked was 2010, and today I have nightmares and ptsd-like episodes that I have to finish a spreadsheet and be at work in 30 minutes. These are terrifying feelings, and I can not tell you how on earth I was able to maintain employment for so many years. I literally wake up completely frazzled, and then I feel so BLESSED when I realize I don't have a corporate job.

Like you, I didn't sign up for ssdi the day I was diagnosed bipolar. I went back to work and things just got worse. I was also kind of on the fence about filing for ssdi, but my pdoc backed me which is very beneficial.

IMO Use a lawyer because it is absolutely worth the 25% back pay cut. I had my pdoc recommend a law firm. Then make nice with the paralegal because they do all the grunt work. Reputable firms won't take you if you don't have a good case. And SS stuck it to us on every petty thing possible. We had mounds of paperwork and SS would refax the same page six different times for edits. SS doesn't want to approve you. This process is not user friendly. Filing taxes is more clear cut. I'm sure you have the work and health files. They used I think 14 years of work history and only 3 yrs on mental records. In the assessment interview they go back farther than 3 years though.

I have 3 ruptured discs and that was included along with every single medication I take. Like you, I was also misdiagnosed for many, many years until they got bipolar. People in the medical field are very familiar with this and when we are misdiagnosed it just makes a bad situation worse.

The economy may impact disability because of veterans filing for PTSD - I don't know. My case was very rare as I was approved in 6 months. You have to wait 2 years for medicare, but my medicare benefits are awesome. After my benefits are deducted my check is a little over $1K a month. It is not enough to live on for probably 90% of the people on ssdi. But for me to have the kind of healthcare I have now I would have to get back my 60hr/wk Fortune 500 analyst position. Obama dropped PT to 30 hrs with benefits, so in my area everyone hiring is at 20 hrs. A friend of mine who is bipolar and unemployed got catastrophic coverage on Obamacare for $300 a month with a $6K deductible. So, in the long run I can't count on my mental stability to sustain employment. Without employment + benefits I can't sustain any mental stability.

As far as your attitude, you're not going to be raising red flags for malingering. I have a friend who is your age, bipolar and has broken her back. She has desperately wanted to get on disability for about 3 years. That is all she talks about. So she has recently checked into a lot of psych wards for suicidal ideation, had mental health records as far back as age 14, had her pdoc and MD backing her and she cried during the entire SS mental assessment. SS denied her because she has a teaching degree and is able to work in that field.

If you start the process photo copy everything! Get the contact info of anyone from SS and never take their word on anything.

Best of Luck

[thickntired]

SABUTUERS

For anyone on disability I have found not all mental health professionals are going to support this choice. I've left an office where the pdoc is having a problem confirming me disabled with regards to my student loan paperwork. The therapist who works with him I quit seeing after 2 appointments. I told her that I need to keep my disability and she said, "Oh, you don't want to get better?" RUN if you ever get that vibe from any mental health facility. The fact that I need to stay on ssdi does not in any way mean that I am "working the system." Many people do have that stereotype. With my new therapist I brought up ssdi from the get go. She fully supports my need and will relay information to the pdoc when SS sends out the review.

[Stone Serenity]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I keep trying and fighting, and I get knocked down every time. And every time I fall, it takes yet another bite out of me. I'm getting tired.

I know what you mean. 25 jobs over 20 years. Some because I couldn't handle the stress, others just layoffs,. plant closures, poor fits, etc. I can't even send in applications or work on resumes / cover letters anymore because my job history and gaps trigger hysterical mixed episodes. It's ridiculous, and humiliating, and makes me feel like a big fat loser. I've just tried and tried and tried, getting up each time to pick up the pieces, financially and emotionally, until suddenly I couldn't. I'm exhausted too.

Now my PCP, Med Psych, T, and mother all think I should apply for diability. I'm scared to death. I never wanted to think of myself as being incapable of anything (Inflated sense of abilities / delusional?) and it feels like a defeat. Also, because I have a lot of skills, people will think I'm just a malingerer and I've always been a hard worker going "over and above" at work and so that really kills my spirit. I don't know what it means for my future and I'm pretty terrified.

Did you ever get approved, BipolaRNurse?

This is in Australia, my 2nd pdocwhen I about 20 suggested going on disability plus a phsical disability but shunned his suggestion that i "would not be able hold down a decentjob.nor be a productive member of society Fast forward to 5 years later and I'm working as a nurse I see back then it was amybe a mistake as I kept changing jobs everytime was manic and problems with other nursing staff. One actually pulled aside and said she waas worried. I felt all right.
Anyway I decided to go on disability as when I was diagnosed 4 years ago I was a pathology technician was making the worst mistake it was then pdoc made me take time off work. Here the disability laws are having an overhaul as they being abused by people wo don't want work and thing say to the assessor like :I need to go the disability because I'm a drug addict. I had see 3 people at the office plus get a form filled out by gp and a letter from my T. I think I was in denial about how ill I was because I became upset about the comments my T made.
I dont know if this what you wanted but I seem to be on the verge of mania, so ignore if you feel so.

There are also reviews every 2 years, Bipolar gets worse as you get older I am told.

My therapist just updated my paperwork today. He has been positive with me about my filing for ssdi, and he always starts my session with asking for an update. I am currently awaiting a letter for a hearing date. I started mybfirst claim in May 2011 and let it expire when denied. Someone with SS talked me into reapplying in Nov. 2012. Denied again, and requested hearing in May 2013. I'm expecting any day a hearing notice, as I've already requested for video teleconference to speed process along. Hopefully participation via teleconference is as good as in person. Quite honestly, I have informed my therapist that if I get denied that I am really going to be needing him and that clinic he works for much more than I already do. I really expect to be denied again. However, it's my last hope for some stable income, to stay on meds, stay in with doctors, and maybe have some stability with my mind since I was a child. I have started around 20 jobs and quit within a week or two. I have been fired from 5 jobs which my behavior was the reason, but it was worded in other ways. I was considered laid off once just to get rid of me as I was real depressed and "harshly demanded" a raise. I got really stressed a a customer service rep. once, and became very irritable with coworkers and was fired. My last job I was fired because of a second verbal/physical altercation with coworkers. It was verbal, however the owner exaggerated the physical to the dept. of labor to completely burn me by telling them he was afraid I was going to "hurt someone". I've had two jobs that totalled 7 years in which I was so depressed that I never went back and it was written up as failure to return.

I have tried my *** of. I like working. It makes me feel good, at least when I first start. Generally, paranoia, mania, depression, and all of the symptoms get the best of me.

If I totally get denied, I will become a statistic. A statistic as homeless, sui, or both.

[nbritton]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I have both mental and physical disabilities; does that make my case more compelling, or should I just file because of my bipolar and anxiety?

File everything you have documentation for. Go today and start an online application, because if you are approved your disability benefits will be backdated to the day you applied. Don't worry about filling out the whole application today, you can start it today, save it, and then you have like 30 days to finish and submit it. Go here: http://www.socialsecurity.gov/disabilityonline/

I saw someone post here somewhere that after trying so hard 2 or 3 times for ssdi, they were denied They stopped all treatment afterwards. They went on to say if ssdi felt bipolar didn't interfere with them obtaing0 and keeping employment, then they felt as though they were not sick.

I feel the same way as I wait this process out for my hearing. I expect to be denied, but I hope to be awarded it. Perhaps I could possibly look toward furthering education towards something I could succeed at.

But if denied, I will be forced into anything that will hire me again just like being 12 years old again and working strictly for an income. Which places me right back to how some of this all got started. Once denied, I will stop my treatment for sure. The thought of being awarded ssdi has kept me motivated to continue treatment. Otherwise, I would have tried some jobs probably, knowing I cannot perform them, and either quit or been fired. The last job I tried and quit because of my deg. disc disease was the most dangerous time in my life.

I've tried explaining to to whoever counts time and time again, I prefer to not end up in jail/prison, or dead. All I'm asking for is some assistance that may help me to have a fair shake at recreating a life for myself. Is that too much to ask for?

[BipolaRNurse]

Update: I filed in August and things seem to be moving along at a decent pace. I've gotten through the first 3 batches of paperwork and now my pdoc has his part of it to do. Unfortunately, my husband and I are on the verge of becoming homeless because my unemployment benefits ran out, and we're now living on his Social Security income of $668/month. That's not enough to rent an apartment and pay utilities, let alone buy meds or keep the car insured and operational. We do have food stamps and have applied for Medicaid, which we should get easily.

It's scary as hell, especially when I consider where I was a year ago: we had a great Christmas, and I was on top of the world looking forward to starting my new job. That was a disaster, and it's been downhill ever since. I guess there's one thing to be said about hitting bottom: there's nowhere to go but up!

[Resident Bipolar]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I didn't. That's why I had three different jobs within a year. I fell to pieces at my executive-level job during a time of crisis, and after I returned from a three-week medical leave of absence, I was let go because I couldn't do the job without accommodations, which my employer said were "unreasonable". I've left other jobs for the same reasons, some of which I quit, and a couple of others I was fired from.

I keep trying and fighting, and I get knocked down every time. And every time I fall, it takes yet another bite out of me. I'm getting tired.