Should I Feel Guilty

Nov 28, 2014, 03:36 PM

I would be glad to share a situation involving a family member that makes me propose this question, but I will refrain from the story at the moment.

Should I feel guilty about receiving treatment for bipolar, receiving it free of charge due to my situation, and/or for being sick?

Or is it all in my head, that I'm riding it out, and a "low life" as these comments have been all thrown at me in round about ways from family members?

Nov 28, 2014, 11:38 PM

Hey, i like that Beck song, too, "Loser." It's neat!

I find the people who are most vicious about us "taking a ride on the system" are people who are extremely unhappy in their work and are looking for someone to blame and pick on. It's shameful behavior and it's totally on them. I lost a friendship over it -- some burntout grade school teacher who said it was my fault that she had to work so hard. So perverse and despicable!

If you can't get rid of these sorts of losers, keep your distance and recognize their dreck for the rot it is.

Victoria'smom · Nov 29, 2014, 01:04 AM

is it all in my head, that I'm riding it out, and a "low life" as these comments have been all thrown at me in round about ways from family members?
I thing these things are told to us a lot and the stigma of a male getting assistance is worse. However you being in jail or the morgue would cost the society more. I understand the stigma, In my family my husband and I should have had masters and at least low 1k. In stead I'm a college drop out, get SSI and assistance. Try not to stress and don't feel guilty because you need it.

hamster-bamster · Nov 29, 2014, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunatic Fringe

Should I feel guilty about (1) receiving treatment for bipolar, (2) receiving it free of charge due to my situation, and/or (3) for being sick?

You should feel proud of yourself for (1) and (2) - that you are proactive, that you advocate for yourself, that you found a way to receive treatment, etc. all causes for pride.

(3) is just life. You should not feel guilty about something that is in part outside of your control. To the extent to which it is within your control, you are taking all the right steps - see (1) and (2) above plus all the self-care, coping skills, etc. To the extent to which it is outside of your control, you just accept it.

Crazy Hitch · Nov 29, 2014, 02:34 AM

There is no guilt or shame in receiving treatment. It's good. It's proactive and we are doing something constructive for it so good on us who do get help.

As for fee / no fee / high fee / free of charge fee - it does not count. It only counts that you are getting help. The method is irrelevant. We all have unique circumstances.

The term "low life" is only a term used by one who is completely and blissfully unaware of the magnitude and impact our disorder can have on us.

Be careful who you pay attention to. I know they're family, but still. Got to look after your own best interests.

TRNRMOM · Nov 29, 2014, 03:13 PM

my only question is just WHO are these people who are making you feel guilty and how emotionally `healthy' are they? taking care of yourself is and should be your no. 1 priority and shame on anyone who criticizes/judges you for that!

Standup2me · Nov 29, 2014, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TRNRMOM

my only question is just WHO are these people who are making you feel guilty and how emotionally `healthy' are they? taking care of yourself is and should be your no. 1 priority and shame on anyone who criticizes/judges you for that!

Right on! Who the heck has the right to judge your life. Only you have that
right.
I think that they sound jealous. Jealous that you care enough about yourself to realise that you need help.

THE16THDOCTOR · Nov 29, 2014, 04:30 PM

You need treatment that's it. What if you didn't get it? Then what would they say? Ppl can always find a way to complain or put down. Take care of yourself. I'm a social worker as well as having the diagnosis and ssa ssd everything: all these programs to help with treatment, etc are incredibly needed. You're far from a lowlife. You've got an illness and you're getting help.

Mountainbard · Nov 29, 2014, 05:50 PM

There's no way you should feel guilty. On the contrary, be grateful you're receiving free treatment. The "all in my head" crowd just doesn't get it, and while we can't change them, we don't have to listen to them either. And it is our illness which makes us feel guilty to begin with.

hamster-bamster · Nov 30, 2014, 01:01 AM

I do not know what exactly you mean by treatment free of charge, but in case you receive disability, I would like to offer that your disability payment is an insurance payment (in most cases). You paid into the system when you worked. SSDI, eg, requires 40 quarters of work. It is not public assistance.

If you are on public assistance, still, there is no shame in it. When victims of disasters receive emergency assistance, do we call them a "low life"? And you basically have been struck by an internal hurricane.

sidney1771 · Nov 30, 2014, 10:49 AM

I have seen SO MANY people abuse the "system" and get "free" help that my tax dollars paid for over the years who are guiltlessly finding ways to get more and more free things. My brother is a career Air Force officer who basically keeps getting promoted because he has not screwed up. Not because he has done anything to earn it. The perks he gets are ridiculous compared to the grunts who risk their lives. So, the mere fact that you have guilt means that you are one of the few people who will not only appreciate the services available, but also deserve them. When I needed help the most, those services were there for me and I felt awful having to use them because I thought that needier people should be taken care of. At that time, I didn't want to accept that I truly was a needy person.

It is awesome that you feel guilty. It makes you human and in touch with yourself. Just be grateful that these services are there to help you and use them. If in the future you are able to, pass a little helpfulness forward if that makes you feel better. Just don't let it stop you now.

MattBemis · Nov 30, 2014, 11:03 AM

Never feel guilty for having bipoalr disorder or receiving treatent. It's a mental disorder and just like any other disorder it requires maitience and treatment to keep under control. There's a negative stigma around mental illness in general which may lead to your feelings of guilt, but that's a topic I'm not going to get into now.

Alwas remember you're not alone in this and a lot of people have similar thoughts as you. Mental illness can be a curse but it can also be a blessing. Good luck and your journey

Justugh · Nov 30, 2014, 03:53 PM

see guy
the last one could not have put it any better

now who ever the family member is .........slip some vasine (eye drops ) into their drink it should give them the runs .....they crap their pants u laugh ............it is a gamblers trick make the mark get sick and leave the table

shortandcute · Nov 30, 2014, 07:35 PM

Bipolar used to be called hormones.

shortandcute · Nov 30, 2014, 07:44 PM

just remember, living off the gov't like that is what will cripple you in the long run..........

Nov 30, 2014, 09:51 PM

That's what I'm afraid of. However, I do have some other health concerns not being treated as well which limit me. And what really is a concern is jumping right back into a similar retail environments dealing with customers with their problems, and unpleasant coworkers like before, and others I was a ticking time bomb, in my opinion is only asking for trouble. Most of the people I have had the misfortunes of working around have always been highly and negatively critical of me. I on the other hand, always treat with the upmost respect of their knowledge, and focused on the strengths. So, needless to say, I just don't get along well at all with other people. As my mother routinely taught me, if you don't have something nice to say to someone, don't say it at all.

I want to get my mind in a place somehow to figure out what job would be good for me, to further my education, and proceed from there. As soon as "Money" gets on my brain, nothing else matters to me. It's work, eat, sleep, and burn out after that.

Like that old saying. I put my heart and soul in my work, and lost my mind in the process.

Hellion · Dec 01, 2014, 02:09 AM

No do not feel guilty for that, in my opinion societies ought to have the obligation of ensuring its disabled/sick/poor ect...have resources to help them. Such guilt will only cause you a bunch of un-needed stress and feelings of worthlessness(you probably already have plenty of that).

Also its not the living off the 'gov't' that would cripple you in the long run...if anything stigma associated with it can do that. It is a better alternative than no money to live on at all, the no money at all is more crippling for sure.

tipper1492 · Dec 01, 2014, 03:18 PM

I say NO! That's just my opinion. People pay too much for insurance. I think it's because of the ones that can't pay one cent, but they have the government pay for them. They stay at home even when they are not in bad health. They probably lie and cheat. Then Of course that may be your case, then I would probably say yes because the public is paying for you, before the Government does. We all know the Government has a way of messing up everything, and many are in the "system" that should not be. Some are already dead, but there are the bad people making things up - LYING! They do not fear jail time because the jails are full, the system does not work, or care not to assign an attorney for them. It would the Federal Government to go through a trail, and that's not happening. Maybe I have it all wrong, but something is sticking. Still, with all the new robots (Amazon just got 15,000 new robots) less people can find work, and are no educated in what mfg's are looking for. Then all the companies moving over seas. I do not know, it's nothings like it was in the past, and I assume there are not enough jobs out there.

Dec 01, 2014, 07:49 PM

Actually, I try to downplay my conditions, like when I told the ssdi dr. I could lift 100 lbs. Yes I can. But after a few times and tweaking my disc and the sciatica hit me, lord can my bipolar get really nasty. When I have to do things in the yard that requires any lifting, back breaking activity, I can get to cursing badly. My father will come outside and try to get me to calm down out take a break so the neighbors don't report me.

I was bluntly told I need back surgery by the dr. who did an mri which was set up by vocational rehab. He suggested to them shots, which I am scared to have them again, especially now that I know I'm bipolar. A friend I worked with when I had them once, saw the attitude change I had.

Anyway, I'm pretty much solely going into this with bipolar, because I cannot have any treatment for back without stable income. I manage as long as I don't overdo myself, and as long as I can pick and choose when to do activities according to how I feel.

But no matter what, I will feel guilty. My old school thinking is this. In the old days, if farmers had a cow or horse that got really sick, they put it down. I feel the same way about myself. And I have offered 1 person money to do it way back when I first injured my back. I offered 1 person money when this bipolar came out. I also asked 2 or 3 more to do it for me. I guess my offer wasn't a high enough amount, huh? Honestly, I really had rather it go down like that than me be a drain on society.

hamster-bamster · Dec 02, 2014, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunatic Fringe

Actually, I try to downplay my conditions, like when I told the ssdi dr. I could lift 100 lbs. Yes I can. But after a few times and tweaking my disc and the sciatica hit me, lord can my bipolar get really nasty. When I have to do things in the yard that requires any lifting, back breaking activity, I can get to cursing badly. My father will come outside and try to get me to calm down out take a break so the neighbors don't report me.

I was bluntly told I need back surgery by the dr. who did an mri which was set up by vocational rehab. He suggested to them shots, which I am scared to have them again, especially now that I know I'm bipolar. A friend I worked with when I had them once, saw the attitude change I had.

Anyway, I'm pretty much solely going into this with bipolar, because I cannot have any treatment for back without stable income. I manage as long as I don't overdo myself, and as long as I can pick and choose when to do activities according to how I feel.

But no matter what, I will feel guilty. My old school thinking is this. In the old days, if farmers had a cow or horse that got really sick, they put it down. I feel the same way about myself. And I have offered 1 person money to do it way back when I first injured my back. I offered 1 person money when this bipolar came out. I also asked 2 or 3 more to do it for me. I guess my offer wasn't a high enough amount, huh? Honestly, I really had rather it go down like that than me be a drain on society.

Yeah right, and let us burn the books by Lord Byron and the paintings of Van Gogh - the author and the artist should have been put down.

hamster-bamster · Dec 02, 2014, 12:44 AM

LF - were the shots offered injections into the spine to temporarily relieve the pain?

Dec 02, 2014, 02:11 AM

Yes. Epideral Steroid Injections. The first one put me in a wheelchair and it was the only one that helped. The other 2 were a waste. I refused to take their synthetic heroin opiates and got heavy on the weed back then.

Needless to say, I gradually worked my way towards less physically demanding jobs, which got me to retail sales and an office cubical job once. I have been fired a few times along the way with those type jobs.

I worked around construction and an industrial plant when back injury hit. Those jobs were kind of rough. Atmosphere was sort of life the NFL in the sense that some people would pick at you and taunt you and etc. If it was a bad day, telling them to go f... themselves, or telling, flipping them the finger, or in some instances I just bluntly had to threaten them. Sometimes that's how you deal with bully type attitude people.

However, I'm older and less tactful. Back then I would do it discretely. Now when I lose it, I did right in the middle of wherever, because I don't give a damn anymore. Buttcrack personality people who antagonize and intimidate deserve the same punishment that the retaliaters get, but of couse, they usually never get theirs.

There's definitely a difference between getting mad and getting bipolar, chemical pulsing , adrenaline pumping, react before your brain has any rational idea what it's doing.

Also, Cute and short, your personality happens to be like the above mentioned. How about you leave your 2 cents somewhere else before I inform a moderator.

shortandcute · Dec 10, 2014, 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunatic Fringe

That's what I'm afraid of. However, I do have some other health concerns not being treated as well which limit me. And what really is a concern is jumping right back into a similar retail environments dealing with customers with their problems, and unpleasant coworkers like before, and others I was a ticking time bomb, in my opinion is only asking for trouble. Most of the people I have had the misfortunes of working around have always been highly and negatively critical of me. I on the other hand, always treat with the upmost respect of their knowledge, and focused on the strengths. So, needless to say, I just don't get along well at all with other people. As my mother routinely taught me, if you don't have something nice to say to someone, don't say it at
I want to get my mind in a place somehow to figure out what job would be good for me, to further my education, and proceed from there. As soon as "Money" gets on my brain, nothing else matters to me. It's work, eat, sleep, and burn out after that.

Like that old saying. I put my heart and soul in my work, and lost my mind in the process.

I'm sorry for being so snarky----

ChaoticSymphony · Dec 10, 2014, 08:48 AM

Tell whoever has tried to shame you that if they're so concerned they can just flip the bill. That it doesn't matter where the finances comes from so long as you receive treatment for your very real illness.