feeling bad

done eating. feel better but still bad thoughts

Moose, I find the word 'waiting' intriguing. I often feel the feeling of impending doom. Something dark waiting in the shadows to pounce and boom - my life as I know it will change and some upheaval will send it spinning out of control.

I wonder if that is what you mean? I have control issues. Now with others, but in my own life, I like knowing what to expect, and what may or may not happen and when things happen (like in November my oil furnace stopped working) I have to get on it immediately to make sure it is taken care of. I get very one minded and direct, not focusing on anything else til it gets resolved. (I can become belligerent toward any obstacle that stands in the way of what I perceive as my solution, not hearing others if they present a different idea)

If your 'waiting' is similar - I would wonder if you had recently had some big life change that you are still adjusting to, and if it were shocking to your system, and if you are just carrying fear of the unknown around like I sometimes do.

Thoughts?

to put it simply i cant get death out of my mind very long. its not rational. i went christmas shopping the last two days. i ecen saw y case manager today and didnt seem alarmed. but i cant stop thinking sui thoughts. if i go to pes they will send me to hospital and ill miss christmas. my therapist is gone for six weeks too.

I hope things are good with you. Screw Christmas for sanity! At least that's what I say. I can't do Christmas to July anyways! I hope you're feelng better '