[Imah]

We can count on two things with this illness. It will demand that we be honest. We can count on change.

If you are like me, you will try to suppress emotions. Learning tact during interactions is necessary. But make sure your life doesn't become a series of lies. This illness will only tolerate suppression so far. To many of us who have had to 'start over' again and again can attest to that. The eagle cannot be caged.

Living with someone who always yelled at my emotions didn't work out. Trying to be totally emotionally appropriate and in control didn't work out. I absolutely will never try to be in another relationship where I have to lie and pretend I am fine in order to please them and have them stay with me. No matter my mood, I am a good person and whether crying or yelling, I treat my family and friends with extreme acceptance of their own individuality. I respect their moods and thoughts and ideas. I don't ask them to conform to any view but their own. I give this respect greatly and clearly because I have learned we all need it. What better gift then the gift of acceptance?

I learned that it is difficult for me to plan anything. I accept this because their is no choice but to. Wishing it away is a waste of time and creates anxiety. while my moods do make it difficult to plan anything. We must create a life that has wiggle room to be allowed to be human. Don't blame others for our moods. This takes supreme will at times, but seriously - just teach people that you often like to be alone to get things done. Or, if you are quiet or angry it is never their fault. Lay groundwork of understanding and communication only when you are having a good day. If you give people the right tools, they will use them. Our personal drama never needs to be someone elses problem.

For jobs, I prefer to work at places that can count on me to self motive and then leave me the heck alone. If I don't have that, I show people that I have a big personality. This creates room for personal expression. While I may act unexpectedly, I am also harmless, entertaining, and I bring goodies and treats for others to enjoy. Other people can learn to trust me, and come to me when they are feeling poorly, cause I am the 'weird but nice' employee.

For family, I have learned to teach them what they can expect from me - not what they should expect from me. Teaching them should instead of could caused respect and trust issues. Never belittle yourself to your children. I did a great dis-service to myself by teaching my children that mommy had issues that made her weak. Also, if the child grows up to have any problems of their own, you have taught them mental illness is weak.

Mental illness is the opposite of weak. It is very strong and it will participate in your life, but it cannot be viewed as the enemy. Mental illness does not make us bad people. It simply makes whatever we are more clear. Be honest and kind to yourself. Discover your unique strengths, and learn how to allow your weaknesses to exist in a manner that isn't offensive to others.

Fight for yourself, you are worth it.

Best of luck to us all.

[UrbanShaman]

~~

[pepper2009]

Very well written. A nice message to read for the day!

[Velouria]

Can we vote for this to become one of the stickies? This post should totally not get lost in the shuffle.

[Imah]

How kind Velouria. I had hope it would remind us that this illness also gives us certain traits of endurance. Also, because of public interaction and obligation - we end up with a deeper understanding of others, born of insight.

We do gain gifts because of the struggle. There IS hope.

Best of luck to us all.